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This week we bring you a long-awaited, pre-recorded show featuring our sisters LeeAnn and Aimee (the one we hated). They’re funnier than we are… promise!
Full Transcript:
This is a special edition of Nobody’s Listening Podcast. That means it’s gonna suck, so deal with it. [“Nobody’s
Listening Podcast
Theme Song”] How you doing out there, podcast people? This is Nobody’s Listening Podcast, episode 22 brought to you on May 26, 2007. I’m 1 of your hosts, James, and my brother is not here. He is in Phoenix enjoying himself and unable to locate a working internet connection. And so we’re going to bring you a special edition of the podcast. And it’s a previously recorded segment that David and I did with my sisters, Leanne and Amy, both of which you’ve heard on previous episodes. Amy being the subject of 1 of our episodes, We Hate Amy and then
Leanne being 1 of, she was, I think, stranded on a clothesline at 1 point in 1 of our stories. So anyway, all right, so we’re going to play that and then we’re going to come back with some email and voicemails and that’ll be our show for this week. So I’ll see you on the other side.
It’s the featured story.
How you
doing guys and girls? This is Nobody’s Listening, a podcast where we tell our funny stories from our life and hope you’ll do the same. Hopefully. This is recorded on, what is today? Saturday.
30th. April what? April? March. March 31st? March 31st.
30th. 30th. Anyway, this is Nobody’s Listening Special Edition. It is the 31st, dadgummit. That’s what I said. No, liar. And I’m 1 of your hosts, James Kinnison. My brother’s here. David. And also, since it is special edition, we have 2 siblings here, our sisters, Leanne and Amy. So say hi, guys, girls. Hi, guys. And they are smart Alex, as you can tell. Anyway, I am James. I’m the oldest and then Leanne is the second oldest. Oh. So Leanne, say your name. Leanne. That way people can
associate your voice.
This is my voice. My name is Leanne.
And then It’s Amy.
This is my voice.
And then there’s Jonathan. I hate
the world. Jonathan’s not here, unfortunately. And then there’s David, and you know David. So anyway, we’re going to do a little half hour show. Jonathan, we miss you.
We miss you, John. I wanted to get you Skyped in.
Shout out to Jonathan.
John John, the Sand Ninja. That’s what we call him on the show. Many of you on the forums and stuff and our fans have asked to hear from some of the siblings that we mentioned in some of our shows. So we wanted to give them an opportunity to speak. And so, which 1 of you guys want to go first? They each have their own story.
Leanne would like to go first.
Leanne’s the oldest.
So I’m gonna step back and be a leader. And let you go first, Amy.
You’re so kind.
Alright, what we’re going to do today is tell a story.
Alright.
What am I, I thought you were going to intro, David?
No, no, no.
We’re going to intro. It’s over.
Okay. When I was little, so, I should have rehearsed this. Go first, Leanne. Okay, I’ll go first. My story. This is Leanne. This is Leanne. I’m me. And my story only involves, unfortunately, me and Amy.
Oh, boo.
So I
was heard this 1.
And we’re new, so nobody cares. Well, you know, the boys were probably, Jonathan and David were probably around. But we used to go visit Our grandma’s house
Tinga who
happened to be named Ginga
Ging a baby.
Yeah, because that’s because James couldn’t say grandma when he was little It’s right oldest so he said Ginga and that’s what she’s called.
It was cute.
He still does that.
Yeah even though she’s been gone for a long time I still scream her name. Ginga why did you leave us?
So anyway Ginga and Papa Bill had this really cool like carport slash garage.
Papa Bill was Ginga’s lover.
By the way. They were married. They were married. They were husband and wife. Anyway. Were they married? They lived together for 20 years?
We assume. We assume. We really don’t know.
Nobody ever actually showed us a different 1.
So gross.
Does that hit a deep spot? Yes, it does. But we’re not going to bring that up. Anyway, me and Amy decided to get on our roller skates 1 day. Those are things with wheels on them.
They’re not
inline skates, they’re quads. They’re just roller skates. With 4 wheels. So we’re skating around, around the mess and the dirt and the stuff. What were you
skating on?
On the carpet. On the carpet. On the carpet. On concrete. It was when it was still Gingis House, so it was very clean.
So there was a big area of concrete where they would park the cars.
Remotely clean. Anyway, enough to skate on. Cool. And we had a ball. It was so fun skating around yeah ball or it was fun well it was so fun that we decided to fall down on each other. I think I think Amy fell first and tripped me and I fell too and I landed on her. And we laughed so hard that we went our pants. And I was sitting on Amy. There’s gonna be a thing. There’s gonna be a thing this time. So, you know, I got the better end of the deal. And I got the
bad end of your deal. So then we had to go.
Was there a puddle
on the grass? Oh yeah. On me. I soaked it up. I was a soaker. Amy was a human puddle. You had your own puddle Amy. I always had a puddle.
Now let me ask you this Dave real quick. Do guys do that? Do we laugh ourselves to a pee? I’ve heard women do that, but the guys do this. I’ve heard probably the
extreme of us guys was passing the wind on each other.
Yeah, yeah, We fart when we laugh too much. But we
don’t put liquids of the bodily function.
You laugh hard enough you pee a little. You gotta be careful about that. Notice Amy’s not laughing now.
I’m starting to eat
a straight face, I just had some coffee.
Okay, so what else? Is there any more?
That’s pretty much the climax right there.
Oh my gosh. This was the same location that the flying go-kart happened. Y’all remember that? Mm-hmm.
Sure do.
You want to comment on that? Because these people…
When you did it?
Yeah, when I flew.
On the
side of the tree?
On the ramp root?
Just that you broke it and mom will never forgive you.
She still talks
about this? She still talks about that. Boo. She does. Every time I talk to her, she cries. She listens to the show. Go, Kark, that was. Yeah, she does,
so be careful. That was excellent. Alright,
moving on. I
have a story.
We’re going
to do a recap song, Dave. I’m just
letting you know. Alright, my
name is Amy. My name is Davey.
And I am 5. Just going back. Alright, when I was 18, I moved out of the house. Oh god.
Are you really telling this 1?
0, I’m doing it, Dave. There’s a thing. Is it
like a liquid day or something?
Yeah, you got some liquid stories. Alright, so, anyway, I moved out of the house. Never had many nice shampoo type products in my life. So the first thing I did got me some shampoos. She bought some herbal essence! And we’re talking herbal.
Like, 4 dollars a
bottle, man!
Smell good! She threw
down some cats! It’s not Swap. No swap here. We want some real
no big Sam’s Jugg
So I had shampoo matching conditioner Oh matching not the cheapest matching So
high grade matching
When I move back in the house, I have all this great stuff. Long story short, anyway, I. No, no, you
can’t make a long
story short. Can’t make a short story long.
We hated Amy.
I had. Yeah, this song goes back. You always hate
it. Well,
do you want me to tell you why I, why we, okay, up to this point.
Tell them what happened and then
tell them what happened and then I want to hear your side of the story because we’ve never, okay, that’s another session. Okay. Hold it back, Amy. Hold it back. Okay. So anyway, I moved back into the house later on in life. A couple months. And I brought my shampoo. Because let me tell you, I use it sparingly. It’s like 1 of those things where you come from a family of 5 kids, so you don’t have a lot
of stuff. Yes, yes.
Not your own stuff. So anything that’s yours, it’s magic. It’s just a little bottle of frankincense and myrrh. And you’re so excited about it. So you gave it to David. I did not however give to David. I did however make the mistake of… The breaking sense in Merle reference. Oh yeah I gave it to Jesus. So I’m sitting in… No. Why’d you give me this? So I leave it in the bathroom. I do make the mistake of leaving it in the bathroom. I don’t remember why David was angry with me. But apparently he was. For moving
home and…
Ruining my life!
Wow, a lot’s coming out today.
You took over!
Okay, so what happened was David…
We were free.
…Emptied himself.
David peed in his…
…Into my shampoo. Because he was mad. And I…
Kept it off.
I actually had the bottle ready in the shower to wash my hair. I squeeze that bottle into my hand when they wash their hair. And what used to be herbal essence was now essence of David. And it was a little more liquid than I was used to. It had kind of an acidic quality to it. Did you
taste it? Ah!
Ah! Well, seeing that I don’t usually taste shampoo, that was not on my mind. It did however run through my
fingers. God.
And the only thing that saved David was my nakedness. So David.
Well the thing was, me and Amy always, there’s friction in our relationship.
See And I remember
there was
no friction between me and Jonathan, not me and David.
Yeah. Well, the thing is…
David obviously had this secret hatred…
No joke. …Of me. Well, the thing is when me and Amy were friends, her and Jonathan weren’t.
We definitely did the teaming. Yeah. Cause I would switch back and forth between you and Jonathan and James and Leanne. Well, the whole- Of course, mostly they didn’t like me either.
Well, we
never liked you. But the
whole reason that I loathed Amy to the
point of relieving myself in a 4 dollar ball of shampoo. I didn’t want to wash dishes that night. And mom wasn’t home. She was out fluzzing around.
Oh my gosh!
At work. But we have to edit that.
But yeah, so Amy told me to wash the dishes. I was like, no, Mom ain’t here. You’re not the boss of me.
You have a different dad. So I moved back in and instantly took charge. I like that about me.
And so I
was like, you know, I had to wash the dishes and I was like, what can I do to Amy that it won’t happen instantly, but it won’t happen like consequences are like a week away? And, lord and behold, I just go take a shower. I guess it’s the next day she found out. So I was like, haha, she hasn’t found out yet. And hopefully she’ll-
Because I don’t shower often. Hopefully
she will come to the realization that there’s urine in her shampoo after she washes her hair.
No, because I’m an idiot.
But it didn’t happen, so that was the reason why I… So was
there any repercussions, I mean, after you got out of the shower?
I think mom… I told mom. Did mom laugh? Yes, she laughed. She wasn’t happy that I had the shampoo in the
first place. We had 2 different parents. I’m
telling you. That’s the problem is that David was a spoiled brat. Yes, he was.
I was the big.
And so she laughed. Everything
David did. She’s
so cute.
If I had peed in either of your shampoos, even
as the boss. You would have died a slow and painful
death. I would have been killed moreover larger than if you had peed in mine. Absolutely.
Because mom would have kind of been the class. Because you’re the oldest,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Oh my gosh.
I’m glad you guys are, you know, it wasn’t easy being the favorite, you know.
I know, I’m glad that you realized that. It was tough for me and I struggled. Oh my goodness.
Yeah. I was the next favorite.
David, you’re
always the favorite.
Don’t play.
I was the quiet 1.
What happened?
Get the guitar
out. Let’s do the
recap song. You guys will do a recap song if you’ve heard the podcast. And we would like you to participate in any way that you feel necessary. But we always recap the stories. And since we’re creeping up, we got 16 minutes
Ah,
but about some
ass and podcasts the recap song takes a long time sometimes So yeah reach through find a pick
honey.
This episode is brought to you by the Kinnison family. 2 of the people decided they didn’t like their last name and they changed them. We won’t tell you what they are in case they’re stalkers out there.
That’s right. True that, true that. Our husbands would be sad.
Ooh, David.
David, that’s a little loud.
Welcome to the podcast ladies.
I’m glad you didn’t make no gravy. To pour over the stories that you told. The recap song
Guaranteed to make you pee a little So I
didn’t know that name, so now we’re gonna have to, we’re gonna ramp back, we’re gonna ramp back on the story so our female listeners don’t accidentally embarrass themselves in public. Hopefully not. Okay, what was our first story about? It was about… Oh yeah.
Be careful when you fall careful on me when you’re clapping on my knee Oh, careful when you’re clapping your feet.
Glad I wasn’t involved, because I can say I’m 33. And up to this point I’ve never experienced female pee yeah yeah
thank the lord for that amy had a ball yeah but not a real 1. Yeah. This is really sad. Can I go cry? David, you really have to pick up the tempo I’m losing my mind right now Oh
yeah Okay, I got some herbal essence cause I moved out the house And I moved back because I didn’t do very
well Cause
I’m broke I bought 4 bottles and I spent all my cash And I was eating with some pigs like the prodigal son so the first thing I did was demand clean dishes I talked to mom and she gave me 3 wishes
I said, here’s the list on the refrigerator
Get it done and I’ll see you later!
You’ll be in trouble now, David!
Oh, man!
David, do the dishes.
I did the dishes.
You ain’t done
the dishes.
I still
haven’t done the dishes.
The laundry.
For the dishes. The laundry. I peed on Amy’s laundry 1 time. No worries. No, I’m joking. Okay. Well. I
peed in my shampoo. Why’d you do it? Because I hated your guts, Amy. I never knew. No, really, I
hate you. Why’d you do it?
I hate you now. Right now? Right now. Right now,
brother.
The hatred’s here, James.
I feel it.
Anyway, guys and girls, unless you have anything else to say, we’re gonna go ahead and wrap it up. Thank you so much for joining us, and I hope everybody enjoyed our special edition of nobody’s listening.
I do have 1 thing to say.
Okay. David?
Amy? Ooh.
It’s coming out now.
I hate you too. And I don’t appreciate a whole devoted I hate Amy session.
James does the sub.
You know, you can blame it on James all you want, but the reality of it is that- James, James. Okay.
James does that.
You wrote the letter. You did. Jonathan probably spelled it because he can’t. But you wrote it. And more than anything, it hurt.
I hope you guys enjoyed that. That was recorded probably about 2 months ago in anticipation of a week that David and I wasn’t able to do the show we always want to bring you something at least a little something every week even if it can’t be the full show we’ve got a lot of emails this week so let me jump into them. This 1 is from Sam Sneak. He says I just found your podcast thought I’d give it a try you guys crack me up. Started with episode 18 and I have since downloaded and listened to
all the episodes. I love the recap songs and your stories Remind me of my childhood. He says anyway I’m writing this because I listened to the fifth episode the 1 with the torture chamber and I was reminded of some of the crap We tried with my sister. I’m 10 years older than my youngest sister and she was premature and still very small for her age And he says he probably stunted her growth at 6 years old Her small size made her the perfect test subject just want to say Sam you are you are a heartless Heartless
man we We’re just now starting to tell my mom some of the stuff that we did. My favorite memory was the time we used my little sister as a human tether ball. We used to have a little flagpole in our front yard and my sister used to have 1 of those life jackets with straps that went down between your legs and had a handle at the head. So we put her bike helmet on her and hooked up a life jacket bundled to the rope in the flagpole and I guess you could probably imagine what came next.
The funniest part is when we got bored of batting her around the flagpole we decided to run her up to the top. Well my mom was just in the upstairs bedroom just happened to look out the window and see her little baby in a life jacket and a bike helmet at the top of a flight ball. Needless to say she wasn’t very impressed. We still laugh about the look on her face. So they said another time they talked to her little sister into climbing the washer and wrapping her arms and legs around the agitator in the
middle of the washer. She then I held down the button so that it would spin the lid, spin the lid up and we started her on a spin cycle. Don’t worry she had her bike helmet on again. Man did she get dizzy. You know that’s not even right. You guys outdid us by a thousand miles. Your poor little premature sister in a bike helmet. Why did she have a bike helmet so easily available? I think I know. Because she had you as a brother. But anyway, that’s good stuff. Here’s 1 that I’ve been waiting to read
from Connie. She says since David’s moving to the UK soon, She wants to discuss odd eating combination. So her husband went to London and her on her honeymoon and She imagines that I would want her to say London because of a previous episode. We are spending our honeymoon in London Anyway, they stayed at a better breakfast every morning the waiter Waitress in the breakfast room would ask us if we wanted orange juice or corn flakes Which she thought was really odd because they’re not even in the same food group on their third day there she finally
summed up the courage to ask for both. She says the waitress looked at her like she’d grown a horn out the top of her head. She did bring it to me however and I enjoyed the breakfast of champions and you know that’s not really funny when you first read it I guess it’s 1 of those you had to be there but my wife and I started talking about this and we really got a kick out of it because do you want orange juice or corn flakes that’s like asking somebody do you want to wear pants or
a shirt do you want to wear socks or underwear you know I’d like both I’d like to be fully dressed I’d like to have a real breakfast So anyway, that’s really hilarious So all this week you guys need to go around and think of or things like that that you know Would you like to drive Or would you like to have gas in your car? You know I don’t know that one’s not a good 1, but you could do better She also says that Her husband spent a year in England for college, and he stayed at
an international house whatever that is around here We add of pancakes at the end, but anyway She he says she says he was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich a non-american resident there had to leave the room because the sandwich grossed her out so there you go Americans then all right we’ve got 1 from Jojo not Jojo the Christian clown Jojo is actually her name She wrote in about a sailing incident at a girls camp that she went to. They taught the girls how to sail in little sailboats and told them some areas not to
go into and her and 2 friends got into this boat and immediately the wind randomly just started throwing them all over the lake. Of course it directed them directly to the swampy area that they were told not to go in and promptly flip the boat over They as many times as they tried to pull different ropes and change the rudder and all that stuff None of it worked the boat flipped them out They they’re up to their knees and shallow water and mud eventually You know obviously the counselors are yelling at him screaming at him And
they they lose their flip-flops they get back in the boat They start to try to go back toward the dock and I’ve been in that situation because once you flip out of a canoe or a boat at camp it’s over you don’t even think about I want to continue my 30 minutes you know my turn it’s like you’ve automatically forfeited and it’s not even anything a leader would do to you it’s just like the funds out of it So anyway they start trying to head back to the dock, the wind kicks up again and promptly sends
them hurling toward the roped off swimming areas where there are 5 and 6 year old little girls just learning to swim. Luckily the rudder on the bottom of the boat stopped them from you know careening into the heads of small frightened children but a life jacket a life guard had to go underneath the boat and release them from the rope Well anyway long story short the wind would randomly pick up and go down and pick up and go down and they had to try to park this boat into a certain little slot and because they were
so far by this time everybody else had finished their turns they were all heading toward the dinner mess tent, whatever. And it just took them 900 years to get parked back in the front. And so they had to walk all the way across the camp without their shoes and it was just rocky and stony and it was just terrible. They had wet hair, muddy hair, horse fly bites all over their arms and angry counselors behind them. And all I could think of when I was reading this was that scene in the original parent trap where the
2 Haley Mills and Haley Mills are walking toward their secret, you know, the isolation tent, I guess is what they call it, and all the other girls for some reason took it upon themselves to follow behind them whistling a little song. That’s right, There’s your recap song for today. Okay, the last thing I’m gonna read today is from a Josmer and He wrote in a random submission that he sent into Wikipedia that I thought was pretty funny. It’s not hilarious, but it’s pretty funny. He put a entry in the what is blue cheese part of Wikipedia
and here it is. Blue cheese is not actually just eaten for the joy of consumption. It is necessary for human existence. Blue cheese was the original bluech-ese, and it literally eases the bluech. Now you may ask, what is a bluech? The bluech is an internal organ located between the small and large intestine. It is responsible for producing some, if not all of the bacteria in one’s large intestine that transfers water from consumed items to the body. When the bluch becomes inflamed, 1 will experience diarrhea and dehydration. Saline based mineral water such as Pedialyte work in similar
ways as Blue Cheese. Of course there are other foods that we consume that also ease the blooch. Blue Cheese is the most common and effective. There you have it, cat’s out of the bag and he’s chowing down on some blooch cheese. Well anyway, Wikipedia promptly took down his entry, but not before he emailed it to me and then I forwarded it to everyone on my church staff and you know what it is. You know the deal. Whenever you’re sent an email forward, It is true. That is what most people believe. I hate email forwards, but I
was like dude I could send this and people will believe it and sure enough. I got several responses from people Oh, is this for real? I’m gonna pick up some blue cheese tonight. I was thinking about serving some to my friend Yeah, and I was writing back. I so tempted to write back and say yeah yeah you’re blooch man who would have known you got to take care of your blooch so anyway tell somebody about the blooch ease syndrome that is a plaguing America before they all have diarrhea and constipation at the same time. So that’s
all the time we have for mail. We’re gonna put V-mail at the end of the show, so we’re gonna go ahead and say goodbye. We’ll check you guys out next week with a brand new episode 23 with David and James this time. So until next week, no matter what anybody says, no matter how many downloads we have, no matter how many emails and vmails and iTunes reviews prove otherwise, the truth is, and will forever remain, nobody’s listening.
Dude, it’s Max Haskell. As you know, I’m from Cape Cod and the weather’s getting a little better over here. So I was at the beach and I was sitting at this, sitting down in my own business on my 3’s company Beach Cow and this guy comes out of left field and starts asking me questions about where I got my bathing suit. I told him it was none of his business, started smacking him around the face of the jellyfish and I realized I might have gone a little too fast so I bought him some new water shoes.
Alright, so I’ll talk to you guys later and I hope you have a good week. I’ve only been to Florida once!
Hi this is Ree. I love your podcasts. They’re absolutely awesome. I’ve joined your forums and put myself on the map thing and I have got a story for you. And this happened to me when I had just started high school, that Scottish high school, so I was 12, and I went to a music lesson, And when I came back to science, the classroom was empty. And having just started this big school, which was so amazing and shiny and terrifying at the same time, When I came back to the classroom, everyone was gone, but all their coats
and bags were still there, and I had no idea what to do, so I decided to just sit there and wait until they came back. So after about 15 minutes, still no 1 had come back. And I still just sat there and hoped that they would come back, until finally the teacher from the next room just popped her head in and said, yeah they went to F10. So basically I walked into F10 where my class had gone for no apparent reason and found out that they had done loads of work and I got it all for
homework, which wasn’t a very good start to the term, or the year even. So yeah, hope you enjoy that story and keep the podcast coming.
Bye. Hey
David, hey James, this is Josh out here in Utah, stalkers. Just got you listening to episode 21 and dude I think that your parents and my parents read the same like Parenthood Today magazines because their forms of correction are very similar. The promise of a spanking was in my family as well. And 1 time I got a brand new pair of shoes, absolutely muddy, and my dad warned me not to do that. I didn’t listen and so he promised me. The thing is, my dad’s a Pentecostal preacher, so he wouldn’t just say that you’re going to
get a spank and he’d prophesy. He was like, on the seventh hour of the seventh day thou shalt reap what thou hast sown. Pretty much at the end of the day, after doing as many chores that I just felt led to do,
I’m gonna go to bed
so that they’re like, man, I gotta give this kid a spank and, oh, shoot, he’s asleep. And so I’m in bed and my dad gets home late at night and I’m not sleeping, obviously, because until he goes to bed, I’m done, ain’t closing my eyes. Sure enough, I hear him come in and that sucker throws off the covers and gave me what he promised. The funny thing is he just like whoops me and just goes, okay, goodnight and that was that. So anyway, that’s my story. Hey, just so you know, guys, if you’re ever feeling a
little bit underappreciated, you guys are amazing, and I really do appreciate, I mean, you’re doing an amazing thing here, and You get me through many work days whenever I’m just tired and I just want to go home. I appreciate it. Anyway, until next week.
Hey guys, I’m a week late in responding to this cause my this john my computer was down so I didn’t get to episode 20 an embarrassing story an embarrassing show until a week late but I got a story I don’t know if you want to put it out or not but it goes along great with your to theme of what you’re talking about it’s a embarrassing story and it’s a french kissing story this is the first time that I had ever experience the whole tongue-in-the-mouth thing too and but it is not like great night trade whatever
at this party thinking I’m like the champion. And my buddy’s like, so what’s it like, dude? What’s going on there? You’re like, tell me about it. And I’m like, yeah, dude, I crashed your face off, man. And that comment lived with me until I graduated from Stinken High School so yes that was the embarrassment that never stopped so fuck that fuck you like to hear that alright see ya. Hello nobody’s with me This is JoJo the Christian Crowd and I may be a little late, but I wanted to call with a very embarrassing story of my
own. As you know, I am a minister of the gospel called to spread the laughter of the Holy Ghost to everyone that I meet. I was at a mall 1 time. I was doing an impromptu crowning episode and security guards came and took me from the building and as they were dragging me I noticed that 1 of the men had a very strange cologne on and I said, sir, could you let go of my arm? And then I also said, sir, what cologne is that you’re wearing? It’s horrible and he said, I’m not wearing cologne. I
was so embarrassed that they threw me in front of that car that accidentally hit my head But after I recovered and woke up in the hospital, I could not stop laughing at my own sillyness. You know, the Lord allows these things to happen to keep us humble, and I’m so grateful for them. So as soon as this pain medication wears off, I might call you with some more stories. Okay, this is JoJo the Christian Crown, be fun.
Hey guys, this is Lauren Mack from the forums. I actually just got done listening to your podcast and it’s almost 1 in the morning and I am completely awake because I’m graduating tomorrow night, so there’s no way I’m going to sleep. Anyway, earlier today I was sitting waiting to watch you guys record live, only I got a phone call from my best friend’s sister saying, hey, I’m having grad party for your best friend. It’s a surprise, so you should come over. And I was like, oh crap, because I really wanted to see you guys live since
I am a new listener and I missed you last week. So I was thinking, well, I need to go get gas. So I went to the gas station and I’m really mad that I did this because I promised myself I would never do this since I started driving. Anyway, I was sitting in my car, I turned my car off, I put my iPod in my armrest to hide it from these sneaky people, and my phone rang. So I put my keys down, I entered the phone, and I hang up the phone after talking to my best
friend’s sister, and I open the door, I lock the door, I close the door, I go inside, pay, come back out, put my gas, go to open my door and I can’t open it because my stupid butt locked my keys in the car. So I just stood there looking around like I can’t believe I just did this. So I call my dad and I’m like, hey dad, funny story, I’m sitting at the gas station and I lock myself outside of the car and he starts laughing and he says alright I’ll be right there. It takes about
20 minutes to get to the gas station. We don’t live that far away from the gas station. And I’m sitting there at this gas pump and people are lining up behind me getting really mad and just glaring at me and some people who are next to me are just like, why is this girl standing by her car and not leaving? And it’s kind of embarrassing because my car already has like that car windowpane on it saying I’m a senior class of 07 honk and everyone’s honking at me and I was just really embarrassed until my dad
came and I got to unlock my car. Anyway, thanks for all the funny times you’ve had me in class because It’s been really rough the last week while we do nothing. Anyway, thanks for that. Bye.
Hey, nobody’s listening. This is Abigail. I just finished listening to your show and you guys are like so cool. I love you guys. So Right now I’m babysitting and I just put the kids to bed. But I have a funny story about babysitting and I thought you guys would enjoy it. So last night I was babysitting with other people and they said they would be home around 11.30. So I was really tired, like this week I’ve been so tired. So, hey guys, it’s Abby O’Latter. I just tried to call you but something weird happened. So I’ll
tell my story again. So I was babysitting last night and the people said they would be home at around 11.30. I was really, really tired. So I had to take naps around 10. So I thought I would set my alarm for 11, except that I’d be home at around 1130. So I thought I’d be awake when they got home. But it turned out that they got home half an hour early. So I was still asleep when they got home. So they started laughing at me and that woke me up. And they were laughing at me the
whole way home when they were taking me home. So I just thought you guys would enjoy this. I can’t wait for the next podcast. See ya.
Hi, nobody’s listening.
This is Connie from Ohio. And I’d like to talk about embarrassing injuries. And actually, these are injuries that I got that were embarrassing the way I got them. Because I was in taekwondo with my children, and I’m a brown belt stalker, so don’t go stalking me. Anyway, so you know, you have to punch and kick, and it’s a contact sport. It really, it’s not just kicking in the air or anything. So I also knit, like with knitting needles and yarn, and I was making a sweater for a friend’s birthday, and I wanted to get it done
in time, so I’m knitting for long periods of time at a stretch, and because of the overuse of my wrist and the repetitive motion, I ended up injuring my wrist. I had to wear a wrist brace. All these people who knew I was in Taekwondo, they’re going, Whoa, how’d you hurt yourself? Were you in a fight? Were you sparring? I said, no, I was knitting. And I got a lot of strange looks about that. They didn’t realize knitting was a contact sport. During the same time, I was being a little dolly domestic ironing, and my sister
called me up, and I’m talking on the phone while I’m ironing and I put the phone between my ear and my shoulder and Talking for a long time I ended up hurting my neck I put I think I put it out or something and it really hurt, sadly. And so I had to call my chiropractor and go over to his office and he also knows I’m in Taekwondo and he said, oh, did someone kick you in the head or something? I said, no, I was talking on the phone. So, yes, I get injured talking on the
phone and knitting. I hope I’m not that unique and that someone else has done this. But anyway, thank you for letting me share for my odd and embarrassing injuries.
Hey James and David, it’s Paul and Josh. Josh says hi. We are currently on a road trip to california and we are going to be documenting the entire thing via by a nobody’s listening podcasting not to get the game government name ever you know just like that we’ve got to the car we’ve got that maverick gas station I’m enjoying a hot pocket doctors and going to prep we are currently leaving sally city utah more to come hey guys so me and josh just left starbucks in saint george utah and josh doesn’t want to talk about it
because apparently to quote him they had to go back to the Battle of Hastings in order to prove that he is a Starbucks employee in order to get his discount. Anyway so yeah St. George Utah that’s where we’re at in the trip so far. More to come. Bye. Alright so we just left Las Vegas, David you’ll be happy to know we stopped at In-N-Out Burger my friend, I know it’s been a while since you’ve had that and you of all people know that it is the mecca of all burger joints. Oh, Josh just gave a Halleluja
for you boys. So anyway, yeah, leaving Vegas about 4 to 5 hours away from San Diego. We’ll keep you posted later Mortica, what a guy what a guy Other biblical heroes inserted here, but Okay, so we just got into San Diego and we passed some ninjas. So we’re going to go up and try and talk to them. We’re going to tell them that we’re on a podcast. Hold on. Josh is running. Obviously, so am I. Hold on a second. 1 second. 1 quick moment. Hold on. Josh, don’t ever do this. Hey, we’re not sneaking up on
ninjas, don’t kill us. We have a question. When you talk to our friends there, they have a podcast that’s all about ninjas, and so we’re leaving them a message. Hold on, I’m gonna put it on speaker. Somebody has to say something very ninja-like. Okay guys, you’re gonna be on speakerphone. Say something very ninja-like. Anything. That you’re gonna kill me. Obviously you are not in ninja mode because we can see you. So, I think they’re silent, you fool. Damn it, now no one’s gonna believe us. They actually saw a real live ninja. They’re not talking can you
at least punch me we’ll tell you where we were who we just crashed a pirate party down down oh so ninjas are anti-pirate
no we’re trying to bring together oh you guys
are like the
UN representatives. Right on.
Yeah. You want to punch me anyway? Ninja and bat. Like ninja me? Not really. I’m not very tough, so it’ll make you look really cool I made a ninja laugh 3 of them write it down
all right
well you know what kill him yeah for no reason you guys have sweet ninja names? Ninja ninja 123 right on hi all right cool right on well thank you guys for your help I’m gonna turn the speakerphone okay wait you’re back on speakerphone America’s listening to the voice of the ninja somebody represent somebody step it up listen the name of this podcast is nobody’s listening. That’s the honest name. Yeah, that’s the honest name. And I think that the amazing thing now is that ninjas are listening. I think this is going to cause the ninja nation, the
NN, that I like to call it. What most people don’t know if nindas of them workers right about it now now now what if it’s on our face or alright well there you go you’re going to be in the thank you very much needed yet we’re safe in San Diego because we are friends with ninjas so they will protect us. Maybe we’ll keep you updated on the drive home but probably not. So there’s your adventure. This is Josh, no I’m Paul. And, Josh, Signing off. Have a good night. Bye.