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In a solo Nobody’s Listening, James shares a funny story about his daughter mistaking a WoW bat for a “butterfly and monkey.” He invites listener stories!
Davie-o oh Davie-o. Wherefore art thou oh Davie-o! David’s MIA this week due to work schedules and trying to get himself ready to leave America (!). James takes it alone this week for a small, self-centered, but entertaining show. Lots of emails, stories and a very funny voicemail from a new fan!
Check out The Elf & Dwarf Podcast if you’re a WOW player… and especially if you’re a Role Player.
See ya next week!
Full Transcript:
Hi, how you doing out there podcast people? This is James Kennison with Nobody’s Listening podcast brought to you on April 20th, 2007. Got a little bit different of a show for you today because My brother David due to some scheduling conflicts was unable to record a normal episode. So I am just going to hit you with what we’ve got and we’ll see you next week. You can check us out on our website at nlcast.com. You can email us at nobody’slisteningtous at gmail.com and you can call us on the Nobody’s Calling Line at 206-657-04. Nobody’s Listening is
a podcast where we share our funny life stories and we hope that you will do the same. What’s been going on? Here’s your weekly
update.
The only weekly update I’d like to share with you guys today is that I was playing wow. My daughter was in my lap and I happened to jump on 1 of the bats to fly from 1 location to the other and my daughter saw those big gigantic wings and she goes and she’s 2 years old by the way in case you’re just tuning in with us she sees those giant wings and she goes, oh a butterfly and Then she sees him bow up a little bit in his head and his hair and and his tail and
everything she goes and a monkey So any of you Wow players World of Warcraft players out there can especially on the horde side can appreciate that joke. Butterfly and a monkey and now every time she sees me flying she calls it the butterfly and a monkey. So that’s what bats look like to 2 year olds. We do have a couple of, we’re not going to do a featured story today. What I’m going to basically do is give you some news. We’re going to read some of our listener mail and play some voicemails and that’ll be it.
The big news for this week is that we are back on What’s Hot on iTunes. We are on the fourth page of What’s Hot. We’re the last 1 on the last page but dadgummit we’re back on there and that’s pretty sweet and that’s mostly in part to 42 stinking Reviews that we’ve gotten from you guys. Thank you so much. It’s awesome. It’s awesome. Awesome. Awesome So, you know if you’re a listener and you haven’t left us a review, join the latest trend. Apparently all the nobodies out there that listen to our podcasts are doing it and
you should just join right in and sell out and leave us a few words of encouragement or bitter disdain on our iTunes review page. Also just on a personal note, I have started listening to a new podcast. It’s called the Elf and Dwarf Podcast. It’s not a new 1, but it’s a new 1 to me. And it’s a couple that play World of Warcraft and they’re into role-playing and a bunch of other really weird Stuff but no I don’t role-play but I’ve really been interested in listening to them talk about it and their adventures in wow
and they really get into a lot of the They stay away from the game dynamics of WoW so much, they’re not talking about how to level your character or certain stuff like that. They talk about interpersonal relationships in WoW, which is an angle I haven’t seen before. They’re talking about relationships in guilds and how much of yourself to put out there and all this so it’s really cool I like it a lot it you can check it out at the elf and the I’m sorry the elf and dwarf dot pod bean dot com Because it’s called
the elf and dwarf podcast you can search them on iTunes or go to the elf and dwarf dot pod bean Dot-com 1 of the reasons I mentioned them is on 1 of their podcasts They asked for somebody to do a logo for them And since I do graphic design and stuff and I actually did the night nobody’s listening logo I submitted the 1 that the Weekly Murloc is using. I went ahead and did 1 up and sent it to them, and I hope they pick it. You can see it on display with several other entries on
their website that I just told you about so hopefully they’ll pick it. Let’s see next week this is the biggest piece of news I have and this is the reason why I want to do a small little podcast just in case next week not just in case nothing but next week for sure we’re going to do an all fans stories show first time we’ve ever done this and I wanted to get it out a week in advance we need you to send us your stories and your comments and all kinds of stuff we just we don’t
even want to tell a story we want to interact with you we want to we want to pick on you we want to joke with you we want to laugh with you and we want to comment and just interact with our fans our listeners and so we need your stories via email via our forums or by voicemail we will take them all so you can email us again at nobodieslisteningtousatgmail.com you can get on our forums at nlcast.com and then just click on forums or you can call us on the nobody’s listening line at 206-600-5704 or you
can I guess send us an mp3 of your voice a recording plug your microphone into your computer and send us a voice message that way if you’d like? So that’s our big news. So make sure that you get involved. If you’ve ever wanted to call in, if you’ve ever wanted to hear your voice or hear us read your, you know, tell our version of your story on the on the site on the on the site on the podcast that is a chance to hear or see that done last bit of news that I’ll plug at the
last minute is we’ve been experimenting by adding posts on our website at nlcast.com and we’d love for you to subscribe to that through your RSS feeder through Google reader or whatever you guys are using out there blog lines we’re not doing 1 a day but we’re doing 2 or 3 a week and doing just a little updates that We’d love to get your comments and feedback on so check out nlcast.com throughout the week as well as just once a week Let me move on to emails We’ve got 1 from Caleb in Illinois. He says, hi, this
is Caleb from Illinois. He says, I’ve got to say this podcast is awesome. I’m a new listener. I’ve just finished listening to every episode in 3 days. I heard about this podcast from users who also subscribed on iTunes. My new goal is to be your most interactive listener and you should be expecting a voicemail from me soon. He says I’m joining the forums, the gospel of Kinnison forever. And then a little later he emailed in with this I just finished listening to the bikes episode for the second time it Reminded me of my own bike story.
It’s actually how I met my first girlfriend, okay? I was a really cool kid at 7 years old Weren’t we all and I had a bike and I was really proud of it and I was also homeschooled. Okay, this is where I stopped reading the email You know, I was homeschooled for a while and there’s just nothing cool about that. I’m sorry. I’m not dissing homeschoolers I’m actually not only because all the homeschoolers out there agree with me. It stinks So anyway, I was also homeschooled and I could ride my bike when other kids were in
school. And I’m also an early riser. See that’s my second strike against you. You’re homeschooled and you get up early. I bet your mom’s proud of you though. Anyway, well 1 time I decided to be a really cool thing to spin around figure 8’s on my bike at 8 in the morning. So I would do figure 9’s at 9 in the morning and then work out how to do a 10 at 10 o’clock. Anyway he tried it out, he lost control in a turn, his foot went right through the spokes on the front wheel. Oh, so
dude, you stop the bike while putting your foot through the spokes. I know what that looks like because 1 time I was riding with my sister and she was on the back of the banana seat. This is 1 I should have put in last week. I thought about it later. And she was just had her legs you know stuck out to the side like kids did on those banana seats the person the front would pedal and steer and she’d be on the back and then suddenly my bike just skidded to a stop and I checked my
brakes and stuff and my sister had got her foot caught in the back spokes and had stopped the bike and the spoke had embedded itself into her foot and I had to back the bike up a little bit to get her foot untangled from the forks and then That’s what it sounded like when I pulled her foot off and she had to have My mom couldn’t afford stitches or anything so we did those butterfly band-aids, and that’s like the grossest thing I’ve probably ever told on the podcast so I just wanted to add my story to
yours dude because I know I wanted the listeners to really understand because you kind of you kind of smoothed over the fact that you were critically injured and Your feet are tangled up in spokes That is a horrible horrible horrible place for a foot to be so I feel you bro So anyway his foot right went right through the spokes on the front wheel and he was stuck. I stood up barely and I looked like a crook with an ankle chain. Instead of the ball at the end I had a bike. I was a complete weakling
and I couldn’t move. I don’t care. James Bond would be crying at this point. I was thinking too irrationally to drag myself down the sidewalk Towards home, so I sat there and whimpered Help help eventually a car passed down the street It was our new neighbors and the mom was taking her daughter to school at 830 Oh god, so you sat there for 20 minutes or so they passed and be sitting there and so the mom pulled pulled the bike spokes put my foot out of the bike spokes and All I could do is just wave
at the girl in the car So we got together after school, but a couple years eventually we’ve been our separate rate ways. That was my story So we got together after school You kind of just left out the best part of the story. How did you get with this girl dude? You know you’re 6 or 7. I don’t know that you’re even capable of getting with a girl and she’s in real school. You’re in home school How did you know it was after school anyway too many questions? He says that’s my story wasn’t that great, but
my life wasn’t as crazy as you are see ya so anyway God bless he says thank you Caleb dude I think we’ve got a voicemail will be playing for you from you in a moment Linda from Detroit says hi guys you are an entertaining pod thank you for an entertaining podcast on bikes and thank you for a sentence that I couldn’t say. I have a couple stories for you. 1 is about a bike the other is about getting caught in a clothesline. Oh yes. Hallelujah. The bike story. Once upon a time I was about 8 or
11. 10 or 11. I Was riding on my bike. It was a green Schwinn Hollywood girls bike It was a green day late spring the deep green leaves the grass was green the hedges were green and I was peddling around my Back with my block with my head raised high breathing fresh air looking up at the sky a little bit of the recap song Snuck in there The green branches and green green green she makes a green theme. What she didn’t see was a green car parked alongside the road and she plowed right into it. She
came up off the seat and she came right down on the nut that holds the handlebars on. Okay she crunched herself and she says she’s lucky she’s a girl because if she’d have been a boy she probably would have been a girl but she still is still hurt really bad and it took her several minutes to get her breath back and walk home and she says it was just she she probably should have gone to the doctor and she didn’t I will I will I’m censoring the rest of this because if I was a girl I’d
probably just read what you’ve said lady girl but us men are really scared of what we don’t understand and it’s just suffice it to say that you really hurt yourself badly and you know I’m sure that she does say the whole process took about a month to heal and she winced every time she had to sit down so that’s enough for us guys All you girls can call her or email her at thebikestory.gmail.com. I’m just kidding. But anyway, she has a clothesline story. I was a tall teenager, lucky, and my best friend was very short. Her
parents were very short and her brother was very short. Dr. Seuss or something? You live in a very short house with a short car and a short dog? Which just was a shorter story. I was at my best friend’s house 1 day and her mother was hanging the wash on clotheslines really my mom hung it on on on the trees and stuff all over the yard clotheslines all over the yard they were quite low since her mother was short okay now I get the point all right anyway I was playing around with her little brother got
it because he was short right a little anyway we were running around the yard He decided he wanted to race from the back of the yard of the house, so we lined up between these 2 trees. Mark said, go, takes off, runs 2 or 3 good steps, and then I accidentally came out of the crouching position. I didn’t see 1 of the many clothes lines. It caught her right in the mouth you people. Listen to me. My sister got it in the neck. This chick got it in the mouth. Her feet kept going and she was
suddenly about 4 foot off the ground lying perfectly horizontal in the air levitating much like my sister did. Except she, my sister was vertical kind of actually at a diagonal thing. Actually, after what seemed like several seconds, gravity finally woke up, realized I was floating and had been left out of the universe for a moment. I came crashing flat on my back with a rope burn. That’s not rope burn sweetie, that’s like rubber with metal inside of it burn on the corners of your mouth. So I guess you look kind of like the crow, 1 of
those goth kids with his lipstick painted half way up his cheek. I can only imagine the willpower it took for my friend and her mother and neighbor to keep from laughing, for it must have been a hilarious sight. Your friends, lady girl, were sick. They were short little freak people that would laugh at somebody getting stuck on a clothesline. They must have had a lot of bitterness about tall people. They must have had a lot of pain about being small for to be able to Even think about laughing about that. I don’t laugh at people getting
hurt I laugh at myself getting hurt, but other people getting hurt. It’s not funny. So but anyway Linda from Detroit I hope things you know you said you were a tall teenager. I’m assuming you had corrective surgery to become less tall but especially after that incident but thanks for emailing us and I’m hoping you’re having a good day and and you know what you have my permission to make fun of 1 short person this week. Ah la la she says thanks for letting me share Linda in Detroit Gsmith from the forums writes in with our next
email. Hey, this is Mark and I have a funny story and When I was little I was almost how much he wants us to tell Black G Smith man, you need to put some punctuation in here this is mark and I have a funny story about when I was little and how curiosity almost killed me curiosity is not spelled that way dude my dad had and still has I’m just gonna tell your story cuz that don’t make sense either he had an alarm clock that had a little light in it and it was a cool flashlight
light right and he like shining it on things but he was light outside so he decided to be like Harry Potter and lock himself in the closet under the stairs and so he could see the light coming out of the little alarm clock and he was like, ooh and ah and ooh and ah, I’m young and I’m fun, blah blah blah, had a great time, ooh there might be rats in here so I’m gonna get out of here and he goes to open the door and the door won’t open. He’s locked in, he’s scared, he’s screaming
and kicking and flailing. His father hears him But because he’s locked in a closet that is between 2 levels of the house The dad is running upstairs and downstairs and upstairs and downstairs YG Smith at his young tender age of whatever it was Didn’t just say hi I’m in the closet under the stairs where you usually keep me when I’m bad. Why he didn’t just say that I don’t ever know but the dad ran up and down up and down up and down and finally opened the door which here’s the punchline wasn’t locked after all. G
Smith and his young tiny little self had not been spinning the knob the right way. So you know what G Smith’s parents if you ever have another kid that’s as smart as your your first son there You don’t need to put child locks on your cabinets. Just replace those those Handles with knobs that don’t turn he’ll just walk up spin them and when they don’t turn it all up Cabinets are locked can’t eat poison today So anyway, thanks G Smith he says I thought everyone would get a kick out of that and thanks guys and keep
up the good work. So Tracy from somewhere, and undoubtedly she’s ashamed of where she lives, writes, I’m a new listener to your podcasts. We don’t have podcasts. We have podcasts, but I’ll let you go Trace, because you’re new. She says she’s new to podcasts in general. Okay. And she says she just wanted to tell you how much she enjoyed listening to the bike episode and it was the first 1 she ever listened to. I know I’m going to be recommending you to many of my friends, so not all your friends I suppose. I work at a
public library and I listen to podcasts while at my desk or shelving. So she’s a librarian She puts books up The only problem with that is I’m sure I get some weird looks as I giggle whilst Putting books away. I didn’t know it was legal to still use old English whilst. Do you know how that’s spelled? It’s spelled W-h-i-l-s-t whilst putting books away. You are such a librarian. You are a stinkin librarian. Oh Anyway, I can tell I’m going to love listening to your stories as I come from a large family as well Although I’m an
only child. I have a lot of cousins. They don’t count you’re an only child and That means you’re selfish and weird and that’s just the way it is. Only children, you’re gonna have to unite on this 1. I’m against ya. And we can definitely say we put the fun in dysfunctional. You probably put the fun in funeral too. But anyway, also in regards to David’s comments about wanting a laptop, she says she has a side with him, I’m afraid to say. My laptop died a couple years ago and I just recently chose to replace it. I’m
sorry, my desktop died and I chose to replace it with a laptop. She says I’ll never go back to using desktop again it’s just as powerful and there’s something incredibly freeing about knowing that I can war drive around the country and hack people’s accounts no she didn’t say that but she can surf the room surf the room surf the internet from any room or in her house even though she says she needs to get a wireless router in order to do that. Yeah you do and quit siphoning off your neighbors unsecured network. Anyway that’s her 2
cents look forward to listening to more of her podcasts. Well I gotta say on that note guys and girls that I have changed my opinion on the whole laptop desktop thing I had been fighting David on the desktop solely because you can get for 500 bucks You’re gonna get a crappy laptop or you’re gonna get a great desktop He was wanting to do editing on audio and recording and stuff and I’m like do get you a desktop because if something breaks you can replace it with a $60 component instead of having to replace the entire laptop.
But then he told me that in Ireland getting internet in your house is like nigh to impossible. It’s not going to happen and it’s very expensive so he’s gonna have to go to the mall or his local community center or his church to get internet and so I’m like okay desktop is out for you laptop is the way to go so I have been converted and plus I have a laptop I love my laptop I threw my desktop downstairs It’s now my my digital video recorder I don’t even get on it anymore. So I agree with
you there Tracy from wherever you are Undoubtedly wherever you are they have internet and wireless Wi-Fi and stuff. So if you guys are getting hacked It’s Tracy if you guys are getting hacked. She’s war driving and she hates everybody. So That is it for that deal. We’ve got a couple of voicemails. So let’s check them out.
Hey, what’s up, Kennethan Brothers? I’ve become a new fan to your podcast. I’m a new listener. I’ve listened to all of your podcasts in 3 days. And episode 3 reminded me of what I did on my swing set. I had set up a rope and a plank that was wrapped around in the rope and I would sit on the plank doing back and forth against the swing set and which was pretty awesome. Eventually the rope was worn down and began to break. Of course I was in mid-swing when this happened. It released and I flew back
about 9 feet into a pine tree right behind me. And I was lying on the ground and my little brother, who was 8, thought I was dead or something, thought he would perform CPR on me. So I was just lying there trying to get up, but I couldn’t. And then I hear, gee, I hope my lips are clean. Of course, he was going to do CPR. So I opened my eyes and he’s right above me he’s gonna kiss me or something and I bolt up and I say get off of me you sicko and yeah that’s
my story I already sent you guys 2 emails I think and I’m part of the nobody’s posting dot com place so keep up the good work guys
thanks caleb I gotta say that is probably the funniest single voicemail we’ve ever gotten dude little here lips are hope my lips are clean yeah my brother’s dead he’s dying but I’m worried about my germs on my lips, but anyway that’s hilarious And thank you for getting on the nobody’s posting whatever calm thing So anyway guys that is our voicemail just a little recap where this is pretty much the show’s done no recap song or anything so remember to call us for next week because it’s an all voicemail all call-in all story all user input show
no matter if it’s voicemail forums or email or web stuff that you send us that you record. So let me hit all the stuff you can check us out at nlcast.com to get on the forums you can email us at nobody’s listening to us at gmail.com or you can get us on the nobody’s calling line at 206-657-04 and send an email to David through nobody’slistingdesk at gmail.com and tell him to get his butt in gear and quit working so hard. I know he’s got to go to Ireland, but dang anyway we’ll see you guys and you
know it it’s It’s hard to do this show by myself and hope to God I never have to do this again But thank you guys for bearing with me, and we will see you next week and hopefully nobody will care about me having to do this by myself because nobody’s listening say hello
say nobody’s listening Say hello.
Hello. Say nobody’s listening. Nobody listening. Yay! You’re awesome.
I’m tired.
Well let’s say goodbye first. Say bye bye. Bye! Bye people!
Bye people!