Join us for our first themed show, where we dive into clean comedy stories. This week, we share a hilarious tale about witnessing a guy puke from a passing car!
Our lappy problems are solved and so we’re back. This week we’re doing the show a little differently by taking a theme and telling as many stories as we can think of using it. Big thanks to Rev 12 from The Combobulator for the idea and our first theme: Vomit. Before you go running for your bucket, it’s done tastefully, so enjoy! The best part is, thanks to your feedback, David sings!!
Our apologies to those who were hoping to see us on Stickam.com this week. We’ve moved our recording time from 8pm to 5pm central. We didn’t get a chance to announce the change because it was a sudden decision. We’re planning to be back up next week at 5pm for those who want to watch.
We’re planning on using the Theme idea on a continual and occasional basis. It allows us to tell stories that are good, but not worthy of an entire episode on their own. If you have any theme ideas, email them to us. If we use it, we’ll give you credit on the show and send you a Nobody’s Listening button! Super Rad!
Full Transcript
[00:00:02] Voice Actor: You’re listening to Nobody’s Listening, 30 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back.
[00:00:02] James: Hey doing out there podcast people. This is nobody listening podcast episode 12 recorded on March the 14th 2007 I’m one of your hosts. My name is James and my brother’s here. I’m David and we’re so glad that you are here and nobody’s listening It’s a show where we tell our funny life stories and hope that you will do the same That’s exactly right Can’t believe we were on episode 12 already.
[00:00:17] James: Last week, as you know, we had some technical issues and difficulties, and we’re so glad to be over those. We did do our show live on stick cam, but we are podcasters, not stick cameras. So we’re glad to be back. I hope you guys enjoyed the pilot.
[01:02] James: David, did you listen to it? Yeah, I listened to it.
[01:03] David: What’d you think, man? We’ve come a long way. I think so. Yeah.
[01:03] David: But one thing people all requested about the pilot and liked about the pilot was the fact that you were singing. Yep. And so we’re hoping to hear some things from you today.
[01:01:18] David: If the spirit lets me.
[01:22] James: Oh, man. All right. It’s time for the weekly update.
[01:27] Voice Actor: What’s been going on? Here’s your weekly update.
[01:36] David: i gave you the first now that they have
[01:50] James: You think so. You know so. All right, yours is better than mine, but only slightly better than mine. Here it is.
[01:56] James: I was at Walmart the other day, and I usually go and take my daughter off, and we just walk around the store breaking stuff so that my wife can shop Jenna-free. And instead of putting her in a cart this week, I was like, you know what? Let me put her on the floor. We’ll have her walk around.
[01:56] James: I’ll just follow her around and see what she sees. And man, it was awesome. She’s walking down, and she saw a sewing kit with a butterfly on the top. And she’s like, ooh, ooh, ooh.
[02:21] James: And she just loved that. And then we got to the aisle where it was just nothing but those fake flowers. And she was like, flowers, flowers. And she was just all amazed by all the flowers.
[02:30] James: And it was just really cool, because watching and seeing things through a little girl’s eyes is just so awesome. We got through the toy aisle. She went down. every single toy, and touched it, and poked buttons, and learned how to make dinosaurs talk, and all kinds of junk like that.
[02:44] James: And then I was kind of interested in some stuff across the way. So I kind of got my back to her, and I’m looking, and then I hear her go, uh-oh, yucky, uh-oh, yucky. And I turn around, and dude, she had been messing with bottles of the glue that they use to put puzzles together.
[03:01] David: Puzzle glue?
[00:03:02] James: Yeah, puzzle glue. There you go. And I was wondering what the name was. That’s genius.
[03:07] James: And so one of them undoubtedly had been cracked and it’s all over her hands and she’s starting to rub them together and the little black nuggets are forming that you got when you were a kid. Glue on your hands, so I’m like oh, man. Don’t get it on your clothes girl Put put your hands together, and I pick her up, and I mean she’s facing out for me I’ve got her across my chest and she’s she’s like just right there And I walk her all the way to the front because her mom had just called me told me it’s time to go So I get to the front and I’m like Jen I got to go to a bathroom real quick and wash her hands She’s got glue all over her hands, and I look down and I look down and
[03:42] James: Jenna’s trying to pull her hands apart. Her hands are glued together, dude. Like what? Like she’s praying.
[03:52] James: I thought she was just being really good, hold her hands together and not get them on her clothes. I’d even complimented her on it. You’re being such a good girl. And she’s probably down there going, I have no hope of ever growing up and using both my hands, but I will be obedient to my father.
[03:52] James: So anyway, the old lady that was in line in front of Jen turns around and she’s immediately concerned And she’s not saying anything, but she’s like horrified because and I mean Jenner cracking jokes I’m like, yeah, you got her no better than to leave her with me engines like I go wash her up Well, anyway, I go wash her up and come back and immediately, you know, the water hits the hands. Yeah comes apart It’s not like a real glue, but the old lady’s walking by with her husband when I’m coming out and she goes How did you get it off of her and I says? I said, Oh, it wasn’t a big deal.
[04:39] James: It was just, you know, as soon as the water hit it, it came apart. And I go to Jen and she’s like, yeah, man, she was asking all kinds of questions after you left. Like, Oh, can you trust her with him with her? And, uh, you know, what kind of clue was that?
[04:49] James: And she’s all amazed. I bet she had her cell phone out and was about to call the hotline, you know, the child abuse hotline. But anyway, her hands are fine, obviously, but dude, that’s stinking hilarious.
[05:00] David: And, um,
[05:02] James: Thank you, David, for your support.
[05:04] David: Yeah.
[05:04] James: I’ll be sure to laugh at yours just as greatly as you’re laughing at mine. Thank you. Okay, David, why don’t you go ahead and take a shot? I walked on the moon.
[05:14] James: Oh. Crap. That is pretty good.
[05:19] David: You know, I wanted to do this again. Anyway, so I work at a parts store, auto parts store, and we, all the guys I work with are pretty much rednecks in Missouri.
[00:05:29] James: And they’re good rednecks. Rednecks are good.
[00:05:32] David: Yeah.
[00:05:33] James: They’re your friends, right?
[05:34] David: Yeah, they’re my friends.
[05:35] James: They’re all hippies.
[05:36] David: I just wanted to say that. Hippie rednecks. No, they are rednecks. So we always joke around.
[05:41] David: If a woman that I know that they would not like, I’m like, hey, here comes your wife, all joking around. I’m trying to phrase that so I don’t hurt anybody’s feelings. But one of my friends, Jay, he was helping out a customer, a gentleman he was helping out. And this woman walks, you see her walking outside the glass of the building.
[00:00:00] David: It’s starting to come in. It’s starting to come in. And I’m like, Jay, here comes your wife. And once I said it, I was like, oh, crap.
[06:09] David: That’s that guy’s wife. The dude turns around. And once I thought it, I was already halfway in the aisle. So I started darted back to the back.
[06:20] David: Yeah, it was his wife walking in the door. I felt like a complete idiot, man.
[06:26] James: So did he say anything?
[06:27] David: To me? Yeah. No, I was already in the back of the bathroom hiding out.
[00:06:30] James: You told me that he said something.
[06:32] David: He said something to Jay. Oh, what’d he say? He was like, is that a guy that works here? Was he talking about my wife?
[06:38] David: I don’t know, he said something like that. And Jay was like, talk like this, you know, Jay talk like this, and he’s trying to tell them the story and stuff. And I was just like, duh, Jay, I don’t know what you’re saying. But yeah, I could have gotten in trouble.
[06:48] David: I hid in the bathroom if I could get 45 minutes.
[06:51] James: So a lady’s coming in that is unattractive.
[00:06:54] David: Basically, yes.
[00:00:06] James: And just not attractive. Unattractive. OK. And so you’re like, Jay, my buddy, here comes your wife.
[07:02] James: Yeah, and we’re joking around. And some dude turns around that’s in there. And that is his wife. And he’s going, that’s my wife.
[07:09] James: That’s horrible.
[07:11] David: I turned beet red.
[07:12] James: Dude, I did something like that one time. I was in St. Mary’s, Georgia, and there’s this chick I knew from my school, and I was bagging groceries for them at the grocery store. And I turned to the mom, and I’m like, you know your daughter’s pregnant, right?
[07:12] James: And I’m just joking around because we’re cool and stuff and she looks at me serious as anything and she goes, yes I did know who told you. Oh god. And I look at my friend and she’s like, you know, got a look on her face like, we’re going to die now. And dude I just felt, I shriveled up into like a little piece of dust that could continue to bag groceries that is.
[00:07:50] James: I mean, that was, what, 20 years ago, and I still feel the pain in my soul.
[00:07:57] David: It’s the same thing, like what Brian Regan says, you never ask anybody if they’re pregnant.
[08:03] James: Never. You let them tell you. Brian Regan came out with that about 10 years too late, that was the only problem. Oh, God, that was horrid.
[08:10] James: That was so horrid. When’s the baby due? Jeez. What baby?
[08:16] James: Oh! The babies at the zoo. The baby zebra. The pandas.
[08:16] James: Thought we’d talk about them. Anyway, if you haven’t heard of Brian Regan, you need to go out there and get his CD. Yeah, he’s good. Brian Regan is amazing.
[08:27] James: So, what was I going to say? Oh, that was our weekly update. It’s time for the Featured Story, dude.
[08:36] Voice Actor: It’s the Featured Story.
[08:42] James: What we’re going to do this week is something that was sent in, an idea that was sent in to us by Michael aka Rev12 from the Combobulator. Combobulator is a UK podcast that’s basically about WoW, World of Warcraft and other games and video games and stuff. It’s a great podcast and I’ve really gotten to be able to get some feedback and ideas from Michael and just talking back and forth with him. Matter of fact, after the show, be listening for an advert, as they call it over there, a little advert for the Combobulator.
[00:09:17] James: Or like a plug. Yeah, so if you’re a WoW podcast listener and you’ve listened to the Weekly Murloc or any of those, the instance, add the Combobulator to your list, and I guarantee you will not be upset about that. But he had an idea, and he says, I wish I could do a UK accent, but I’m just terrible at it.
[09:36] David: Don’t try.
[09:36] James: He says, why don’t you ask your listeners to send in themes, just a one word theme, and then you guys have the challenges. You have to come up with stories from your past or present along those lines. And so he says, I want to be the first one to do it. And he submitted the word vomiting.
[00:00:00] James: Vomiting. Vomiting. He’s like, hey James, I’ve got an idea for your podcast, and I wish that you guys would take a theme once a week. You know, it doesn’t have to be every week, actually it could be once a month.
[10:14] James: Once a month! And I’m Michael, Rev 12 from the Combobulator, and I’d just like to… You just went Australian. I know.
[10:14:00] James: It’s all the same, isn’t it? I like Australian accents too. I want to be Eliza Doolittle now, so I won’t do that. It’s like, someone won’t say no money.
[00:10:39] James: He’s not like that. He’s all mannered. But anyway, so we’re going to do that. And he just says, hey, whenever somebody sends in an idea, just give them a shout out.
[00:10:39] James: Give them credit for it. And we’re going to take it a step further than that, actually. If you will send in your themes, if we use it, and we will do this probably once a month or something, if we use your theme, We will send you, we’ll not only mention you on the podcast, we’ll send you a special prize that we’ll be mentioning after this, during the news.
[11:08] James: We’re going to do it during the news. We talked about a special surprise two podcasts ago, didn’t get to do it last week, so we’re going to unveil it this week. So, Michael, Rev12 from the Comebibulator, thank you for that great idea. We are going to do that today, and we did pick your theme, and so if you’ll send us your address, we’ll send you out the prize that we’ll tell you about later.
[11:26] James: All right, so the theme is vomiting. Vomiting. Do you have any stories about vomiting? Yes.
[00:11:30] James: Do you want to go first, or do you want to go first? You can go first. Okay, I’ll do one, and then you can do one, and then I’ll do the last one, because I have two.
[00:11:36] David: All I have is one good one.
[11:37] James: Alright, my first one, and this is awesome because it gives us a chance to do stories that really wouldn’t be strong enough to keep up with a whole podcast. I was really sick one time and I was in high school and we used to go to this little church that was meeting in a ballroom of a hotel. Okay, it was it was just there and they had chairs set up and everything and so they weren’t pews and they weren’t fold-up chairs They were like these these metal chairs that were close together with padding and stuff Yeah, they weren’t connected or anything like a pew in a church.
[11:37] James: So I’m sitting a row in front of my sister and my mom and I’m sick as a dog and I’m just feeling horrible and I’m just like I You know, but I’m thinking I’m gonna be okay. Well, I turn around and I go to my sister It’s like girl Lee and I feel like I’m gonna throw up and about that time I turn to start turning back around where I’m where I was facing forward being a good church boy And I begin to vomit right after I say this word. So I start, not unlike a sprinkler on a front lawn, I spread a half of an elliptic, you know, a moon-shaped crescent of puke all the way from the back row, all the way around to the front, just spraying it.
[12:56] James: And the chairs, it was important that I mention that they weren’t connected because the people in these chairs just spread like, like, oh my gosh, like, like I farted in a pool or something. Like if you ever take salt and pepper and sprinkle it on top of water and put a drop of soap in and they all spread to the side, that’s exactly what it was like. And then there’s this half moon shaped puke. On floor.
[12:56] James: Well, I immediately run out and go to the back and I’m looking in the mirror And I’ve got chicken in my nose chicken chunks They come up and it came up and it was stuck all in my nose And it’s just so horrible to try to clean all that mess that I’ve been itching my nose just thinking about it But my sister still to this day talks about the time where I was just sit there I turn around and say I feel like I’m gonna throw up
[13:43] David: And I don’t know who cleaned it up or what, but that’s a puke story, dude. I just figured I had two, too. OK. Go for it.
[00:13:52] David: Let’s go with my top one. OK. So you know Carrie, my girlfriend? Yep.
[13:58] David: OK. Well, back in the day when we both started liking each other, and any chance I had, I would go hang out with her, with the group. setting, you know. So I wasn’t feeling good that day and she called me and she’s like, hey, we’re all going out to the movies and if you want to come, you can.
[00:14:17] David: So I was like, yeah, yeah, I’ll buck it up. So you’re not feeling good, but you’re going to go.
[00:14:23] James: Not feeling good.
[14:23] David: I’m like, any chance I can hang around this girl, I’m going to take it. So I just take some petno-bismol and drink some orange juice to try to make it not taste as bad. And that’s all I had in the morning. So we all drove to the district.
[00:14:39] David: You remember going there? The outside place?
[00:00:14:41] James: It’s like an outside mall.
[00:14:42] David: Yeah, we went to the movies there. I was feeling like crap the whole way. I was trying to put my head between my legs, you know, try to get the nausea to go away, but he was a Jeep Wrangler, so you really couldn’t. So I’m like, forcing my head down.
[14:54] David: I’m like, God, I’m going to throw up. I’m going to throw up. And then once we stopped and the chick opens the door in front of me, I was like, Lauren, move, move. She’s like, what?
[00:14:54] David: What? What is going on? And then it filled up in my mouth. And I was like, I pushed her out of the way, I took her head and just shoved her out of the way.
[00:15:04] David: And here’s my future girl walking up to me while I’m throwing up all over my sandals, in between my toes, on my jeans, all coming down my nose, and it was orange and pink. I don’t even know what the color was. So Carrie Ann didn’t say anything to me. You see her walking towards you down the corner of the road and she just turned to the left.
[00:15:36] David: Oh man, that reminds me of mine.
[00:00:15] David: I was dating this girl just for a little while, like a couple of weeks, and we went to this country fair, just a fair. Where at? It was in Old Town, Florida. It was just this tiny little fair.
[00:00:15] James: What?
[00:00:50] David: Who?
[00:15:51] James: It was that, remember that blonde chick that I dated for like, I’d drive up and see her? Where? It was in Old Town, dude. You met a chick in Old Town?
[00:15:59] James: I did. I never knew about this! Who was she?!
[00:16:05] Voice Actor: !
[00:00:16] James: I don’t know. I didn’t know her name. I don’t know her name. The short chick?
[00:16:07] James: No, no. She was very tall and kind of pretty, but she was very weird. She was just really strange. She told…
[00:16:20] James: Oh God, I’m going to find out now. You got to talk to Amy. But anyway, we dated for a little while and we went to this fair. I got, she was like, hey, I want to ride the, you know, that ride that you stand up in and it rotates around.
[00:16:36] James: It’s not the Gravitron where the stuff slides up. This is the old school one that looks like a giant wagon wheel and it goes up at an angle and then, yeah. So anyway, I’d never rode one of those. I hate stuff that goes around in circles because I know I’m going to get sick on those.
[00:16:48] James: I can ride roller coasters all day long and won’t get sick. Well, she wants to ride this thing and I’m like, you know, hey, I’m the same way. I’m not going to miss any chance to hang out with you. So anyway, I get on this thing, and they strap you in, and it starts going around.
[00:16:48] James: Dude, it starts going faster and faster. And I immediately, it ain’t even two seconds, and I’m sick. I’m just like, I’m gonna- And you can’t stop it. Yeah, I’m gonna throw up.
[00:00:17] James: I am going to throw up, and then it’s going to hit everyone’s left cheek. All the way around the ride, because the puke will just hover in air and slap every person as they go around. So I’m really, really trying to avoid this. I’ve seen the movies, Problem Child, where they puke on these rides.
[17:09-17:26] James: I’m like, I’m going to avoid this. And so the ride goes up on an angle, and it’s spitting, and I’m… And then finally, finally it starts slowing down and stopping. I’m like, okay, I’m going to make this.
[17:26 – 17:39] James: Matter of fact, I don’t even think I’m going to throw up because this thing’s, I’m going to get off and I’ll feel yucky for a little while. And it finally stops and I start to reach for my belt. Dude, the thing starts spinning the other way. And it revs up and revs up and revs up.
[00:17:39] James: Undoubtedly, I had only finished half the flipping ride. And so we go the other direction. So now I can’t puke because it’s going to hit everybody’s right cheek. All the way around the stupid ride.
[00:17:54] James: And oh my gosh, I don’t know how I survived it. I really, really don’t. I blocked it all out. But all I know is when I got off that thing, I ran and I told the girl, I’m like, I’m going to throw up.
[18:05:00 – 18:15:00] James: And she’s like, it’s OK. And I puked all over a barbed wire fence and just right in front of her and all this kind of stuff over and over. Quick when it was just like that the sickest I’ve ever been outside the flu in my life, and she was all like oh, that’s okay That’s okay her old boyfriend. I don’t know this girl.
[00:18:37] James: I don’t think had any boyfriend.
[00:00:18:40] Voice Actor: Oh
[18:40] James: She wouldn’t even hold hands. She was very, very, very strict and very straight-laced.
[00:00:44] David: Oh, wow.
[00:18:45] James: And, uh, yeah, I’ll tell you more about that later. Yeah, definitely. But anyway, so, uh, what else? What else you have?
[00:18:51] James: You said you had another one.
[00:18:52] David: I was, like, six. No, I was, like, eight. Eight hot dogs at school one time. Puked my brains out at school.
[00:18:59] James: You ate eight hot dogs?
[00:00:19] David: No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh. It was, like, six or seven. It wasn’t eight.
[00:19:04] David: No, I said that eight hot dogs.
[00:00:06] James: Okay.
[19:07] David: I doubled up on the eight-eight. I ate eight hot dogs. No, I ate a lot of hot dogs. Okay.
[00:19:07] David: Puked my brains out at school. It has been 15 years and it is hard for me to eat a hot dog. Ever. Like the smell of it, when I worked at QT, the smell of it threw me off.
[00:19:27] James: So last night when we went to the movies and we smelled those hot dogs?
[00:19:29] David: That’s what reminded me. That’s why I said it smells like hot dogs. Disgusting. Puked.
[19:34] David: It’s really bad when you puke and get it all out of your system, but then you go home and you’re puking more. Hot dogs don’t smell, they smell like puke anyway.
[00:00:19] James: Yeah.
[19:43] David: They really do.
[00:19:45] James: It scarred me. I mean, they taste good, but man, God. Okay, my last one is just a small one. How many do you have?
[00:19:45] James: I found another. I remember another. Jonathan came to visit me in Macon, Georgia one time, and we went to eat at McDonald’s. Long story short, after it was over, I looked down on the floor, and there was this pile of puke in the parking lot.
[00:19:54] James: It’s pink. Obviously, somebody had puked right outside of their car. We’re talking about that, and we’re just like, yeah, yeah, da-da-da-da. Right then, some dude, there’s a car drives by up on the highway right in front of us, and this guy leans his head out and just.
[00:20:06] James: It was like Matrixpeaking, dude. It slowed down, the camera rotated around the car. The stuff was spinning in the air. And Jonathan, you know him, he almost fell on the ground laughing.
[00:20:34] James: And I just felt so sick, because we had just got through eating, dude. And we were walking to the car, and then, blah, all over the side of the road. Thank God it wasn’t any closer and he wasn’t any higher, because then we would have had a little rain, a little rain there, a little human rain.
[00:20:48] David: Why is my stomach feeling a little wheezy? Because the thing is, I’m a sympathy puker.
[00:00:52] James: If I hear it, I’m like, blah, blah, blah. I am, too. Don’t even talk about it. I mean my little girl’s been sick, and it’s your heart Oh, yeah, she threw up today in the back of Jen’s car She was driving to the gym and the baby starts coughing and blah and she said the bad thing was she had been eating milk and yogurt
[00:00:21] James: So it was all dairy products. It was pink and white, dude, coming out. Oh, God. And it took Jen two hours to clean the back of the element.
[00:21:18] David: It was like cottage cheese coming out. Dude. That’s disgusting.
[00:21:21] James: It was curdled. But Jen threw up today, matter of fact. It’s just crazy. So anyway, that’s our featured story, guys.
[21:28] James: If you have any themes that you would like to send in, please do that. We do ask that you send a story in with your theme. That way, we don’t just get bombarded with random stuff. But you know what?
[00:21:40] James: Honestly, if you want to send a theme that you’ve thought through, it’s going to be obvious to us which ones of you are just fooling around and which ones have really put some thought into your theme. We don’t always want to do gross. Vomit’s not really a popular topic with adults.
[00:21:54] David: Like bicycle.
[00:21:55] James: Yeah, bicycle stories. Or grass stories. Do you have any grass stories? Well, I never did weed.
[00:22:03] James: Just literal grass? Yes. Never took the marijuana cigarettes. The marriage-a-wanna.
[00:22:08] James: The marriage-a-wanna. Okay, so anyway, it’s time to move on. I hope you enjoyed that. It’s a little different.
[00:22:16] James: It’s like I told David, we only have, we’ve said this before, we only have like a page or two of stories, and so we want to make sure we stretch them out, because once they’re done, the podcast is over.
[00:22:25] David: Yeah, guys.
[00:22:26] James: Yeah, because that way, you know, let’s do a quick example of what the podcast would be once we’re done with stories.
[00:22:32] David: Okay.
[22:32] James: Hey, what’d you do this week, Dave? I don’t know, went to work. Um, yeah, I went to work too, man. I, uh, man, remember that time we used to have a podcast about stories?
[00:22:42] James: Yeah. That was cool, huh? Whatever happened to that? I don’t know, man.
[00:22:45] James: We used to be featured on iTunes. Really? We were? Yeah.
[00:22:49] James: Seems like so long ago. Man, you think we should get out of bed? No, dude. I’m comfortable.
[00:22:56] Voice Actor: It’s warm. Up next, News ENV Mail.
[23:06] David: Now, anyway, OK, we got news. Oh. Pause. OK, we got news, OK, guys?
[23:16] David: iTunes. Now, James freaked me out, because I really don’t keep an eye on iTunes. But he let me know, updated me. Actually, we both found out last night that we’re on What’s Hot featured there.
[00:23:31] David: Right on the main page. Right on the main page. It’s like a slidey thing.
[00:23:35] Voice Actor: Yeah.
[23:35] James: Dang it. It’s like your mic. It’s like a slidey thing. Yeah, you scroll down halfway down the page.
[00:23:39] James: Yeah. Click on, there’s the What’s Hot box. Click on Podcasts and we’re like on page four of that.
[00:23:45] David: Yeah, but we’re on the main page. Yeah. That’s cool. And plus, we got a first three star review.
[00:23:52] James: Dude, we have 27, I think, reviews. All five stars, but one. And they didn’t leave a bad review. No.
[00:23:59] James: What’d they say? Do you remember?
[00:24:00] David: They really liked us. They could listen to us with anybody. Their kids, their family.
[00:24:06] James: They said we were great musicians. Musicians. But left us three stars.
[00:24:11] David: Hey, they’re being honest.
[00:24:12] James: It’s cool. I respect that. I honor that. And I knew it was coming.
[00:24:15] James: I knew the five star streak couldn’t last forever. But man, it kind of hurt my heart.
[00:24:21] David: What’s this person’s name? What?
[00:24:23] James: Social security number? I didn’t write it down. It’s just a username. And then we have one really cool thing.
[00:24:28] James: Ooh, can I do this one? Yes. Alright.
[00:24:30] David: Since you paid for it.
[00:24:32] James: It’s true. I went out and bought a hundred nobody’s listening buttons. The kind you put on your jean jacket back in the 80s.
[00:24:38] David: About the size of a nickel.
[24:38] James: Yeah, they’re really small. They’re about an inch or a half inch in diameter or whatever. But they’re really cool. They’re about the same size as the ones when you go see a punk band or whatever.
[00:24:38] James: Those little buttons. And we have 100 of them. And I would like to start giving those out as prizes. So that’s the part I wanted to tell you about.
[24:46] James: If you send in a theme that we use, we will send you a button. Your own nobody’s listening nlcast.com button. And then you will be the envy of everyone Anywhere ever pretty much anywhere? Especially in Botswana Botswana, so that is our big surprise I told you it wasn’t that big a deal, but to me it kind of is hopefully one day We’ll do t-shirts, but dude We got to have a lot more listeners because I ain’t putting out the big bucks
[00:25:20] James: on t-shirts and getting stuck with them Especially when our podcast is like hey. I don’t know what you wanna do What you wanna do? I don’t know man. What you wanna do?
[00:25:27] David: What do you wanna talk about?
[00:25:28] James: I don’t know man. What you wanna talk about?
[00:25:29] David: I wanna talk about something.
[00:25:30] James: I wanna talk about something too. What do you wanna talk about? Podcasting okay, I love podcasting Mama always say it podcasting is for losers Anyway, so we don’t have any email or voicemail at all
[00:25:44] Speaker 2: rhino segment yes let’s play rhino segment right now rhino radioactive rhino from the forums has sent us a little segment a story that he’s done and so we want to play that for you right now listen up hey guys how you doing this is cameron or radioactive rhino from the forums i just wanted to tell a quick little story because well you asked for one so i have this friend i think we’ll call him lucy So he’s over, and we’re playing Wii in my basement. Yes, Wii is amazing. I got it, I think the second it was out, I waited for like seven hours in the morning.
[00:25:44] Speaker 2: So we’re sitting on my couch playing and so we’re playing tennis and he swings really really hard and he smacks himself in the nose and breaks his nose. The funniest part is he doesn’t even notice. So we’re sitting there playing Wii and like five minutes later he looks down and he’s covered in blood. I mean, totally covered in blood.
[00:26:44] Speaker 2: My tan on the couch that we were sitting on? It’s red now. We can’t get it out. So, well, yeah, he broke his nose.
[00:26:52] Speaker 2: It was funny. I just was sort of reminded about it from the cockatoos. Don’t ask me why. I’m just strange that way.
[00:26:52] Speaker 2: This includes my little message for today’s show, but you can expect, at least every other week, you’ll hear at least one story from me, Radioactive Rhino. It’s been great talking to you guys, and I’ll see you next week.
[00:27:04] Speaker 2: I already mentioned how my wife did almost the same thing. She hasn’t hit herself or me, but she struck the screen and she tried to punch a hole in the ceiling, which is crazy because she’s kind of a short little girl. Anyway, Radioactive Rhino, thank you for that submission. We look forward to further submissions in the future, and if any of you would like to do segments, let us know.
[00:27:42] James: Do a good job. Keep it short, 30 to 60 seconds, and we will try to fit it in. So anyway, it’s time for America’s favorite segment, the Recap Song.
[00:27:55] Voice Actor: It’s what the world’s been waiting for. The Recap Song.
[00:27:59] James: So let’s do this. David, are you feeling the spirit, buddy? I’m feeling the spirit. Alright, let’s do something.
[00:28:07] James: So I went to the movies. Stay off your screen.
[00:28:14] David: Stay off your screen! Edit that.
[00:28:16] James: I will, it sucks that I have to.
[00:28:22] David: Aw, dang, I lost it.
[00:28:24] James: Went to the movies.
[00:28:28] David: To hang out with you. With a big group of people.
[00:28:34] James: And I puked on my shoes. Oh, David. And you walked away. I’m getting out of here.
[00:28:42] David: You walked away from the pukey boy you loved. Go, Dave.
[00:28:46] James: I didn’t love you at the time, Dave.
[00:28:49] David: Yes, you did.
[00:28:51] James: Oh, no, I did not love you, my son, especially when you showed me all the colors of the rainbow between your toes and out of your nose. Well now it’s my turn. There was a time I tried to go on a date. It was probably way too late and I don’t know what I ate, but it definitely evacuated me.
[00:28:51] James: And all over the shrubbery. Again and again, don’t you see? Don’t you see? I think that’s why we weren’t meant to be.
[00:29:29] James: I’m so glad because I ended up marrying a much better girl that would hold my hand. We had cuter kids. And even though she follows her dad’s plan, it’s crazy because she puked all over the van. And my wife had to clean it up for over two hours.
[00:29:29] James: And I’m sure she wished she could have taken a shower, but she didn’t have time. That’s the way it is, and that’s why I rhyme this time. Go ahead, Dave. Ooh, la-dee-la.
[00:29:59] James: Ooh, la-dee-la. La-dee-poo-too. La-dee-pew-quew. Hallelujah.
[00:30:07] James: So I was in sixth grade. Oh, my gosh. Ate like six hot dogs. Thought it was 8-8, 8-8.
[00:30:15] James: Thought it was 8-8, 8-8. I went down to the classroom, puked on the floor. 88 hot dogs or more.
[00:30:28] Voice Actor: Back up.
[00:30:30] James: It came back up again once I got home And I didn’t know which way to roam 88 hot dogs later We’re never gonna leave you alone So now I have a phobia A phobia of the dog We’re here to rob you of your love Of hot dogs D-O-G H-O-T D-O-G It’s the way it’s gotta be. Don’t you wanna puke every time you smell me. I’m just a hot dog devily.
[00:31:07] James: I’m gonna come inside your stomach and then I’m gonna blow you up. Gonna make you upchuck all over the floor. You better watch out, you better duck. Cuz it’s coming upchuck.
[00:31:19] James: Upchuck, upchuck, upchuck, chuck. Oh man. Is it your turn? Yeah.
[00:31:27] James: I was sitting in church just minding my own business Trying to be good, trying not to be restless And I turn around cause I’m feeling really gross And I’m hearing little gurgling sounds Turn around to my sister, say I feel like I’m gonna throw up And then I start to twist back And then I have a really bad stomach attack As it comes out through my nose It was like a gross, slimy water hose full of gack. And people jumped back like they were being attacked by my stomach contents. It was chicken.
[00:32:07] James: It was chicken kung fu. Kung pow. It was coming out, don’t you know how? Coming out, don’t you know how?
[00:32:16] James: All I heard was hallelujah as I fled from the back row. Because that’s where you sit when you’re cool in church, you know, when you don’t want to really pay attention. I looked in the mirror. There was enough to make chicken soup inside just my left nostril.
[00:32:37] James: It was gross and I had to hold one side and blow real hard like those gross guys at the pool. Oh yeah. Evacuate their nostrils right there and you know you’re gonna be stepping there soon. It was the nastiest thing that I’
[00:32:58] David: Don’t tell him about that.
[00:32:59] James: Dad naked. Oh man. I think we’re almost all done except for Mickey D’s. Mickey D’s.
[00:33:11] David: Mickey D’s.
[33:11] James: David, why don’t you do my Mickey D’s? I’ll do Mickey D’s for you. So James and Jonathan just ate some Mickey D’s. James, you’re so cool.
[00:33:22] James: Thank you for taking me out. I’m your little brother and I worship the ground you walk on. So they walk outside, they walk outside and see some puke vomit. Hey, look at that, there’s some puke vomit.
[00:33:35] James: I like it. And as they’re staring down at the pink and some vomit. My voice hasn’t changed yet.
[00:33:44] David: They see a guy drive by and say… Is that how they say hello when you’re sitting?
[00:33:53] James: And they know.
[00:33:55] David: Jonathan, Jonathan definitely knows. That’s some disgusting crap.
[00:00:33] James: Has he been drinking alcohol? I trust you. Oh, I’m glad it wasn’t me Standing a little closer to that guy And I’m glad I didn’t see The rain falling down upon me Little bits of egg and peas Falling down, the rain from vomit heaven Falling down on me Fallin’ down, fallin’ down, fallin’ down on me Fallin’ down, fallin’ down, fallin’ down, fallin’ down, fallin’ down It was rainin’ down!
[00:34:44] James: It was rainin’ down! On the floor! It was rainin’ down! Baby, baby, baby, baby!
[00:34:49] James: Rain down on me from heaven! Rain down on me! Rain down! Rain on me!
[00:00:34] James: Rain down!
[00:34:57] James: I mean, don’t rain down on me! Thank you, Michael, from the Combobulator. I hope you send more themes later. From all over across the Great Pond, where you speak a lot better than we.
[00:34:57] James: I’m glad that you could see that we needed some help stretching out our stories. We’ll be sending you a button if we can afford the shipping.
[00:35:29] David: Yeah, we sure will.
[00:00:35] James: I doubt it’ll be $0.39. It’ll probably be $12. So we’ll just send you a virtual scan.
[00:00:35] David: We’ll send you a digital picture of it. Yeah.
[00:00:35] James: Oh my gosh. David, thank you so much for helping me out with this podcast. I think it worked out a lot better today than it did last week, especially.
[00:00:35] David: I am in that.
[00:35:51] James: And I like the theme idea. I thought it went good. So anyway, in closing, don’t forget, leave us an iTunes review. If you’re brand new to the podcast, you’ve been checking us out.
[00:00:35] James: Leave us an iTunes review. Go to our Frapper map on our website. Our website is nlcast.com. You can click on the Frapper map and you can leave a pin where you’re located so we’ll know where you’re listening from.
[00:36:02] James: Check out the Nobody’s Posting Forums and let us know that you’re there. We have a MySpace. It’s myspace.com slash nlcast. And go ahead and add us to your friends there.
[00:36:13] James: You can email us at nobody’s listening to us at gmail.com. Especially if you’re just starting to listen, we always like to hear two things. First of all, where did you hear about us at? And what’s the first episode that you heard?
[00:36:36] James: I don’t know, I just like hearing that stuff. And you can call us. You can call us on the nobody line. 206-657-04.
[00:36:45] James: That’s right. Give us a call. Here’s the deal. Podcasting is lonely work.
[00:36:49] James: It’s just me and my brother sitting in an office doing this thing. If you don’t contact us, we don’t know you’re there and we really, really want to know. It helps keep us pumped up, especially when we’re getting three-star reviews.
[00:00:37] David: Yeah.
[00:00:00] James: So anyway, rain down. Rain down people from heaven. Puke from heaven, heaven. Rain down, rain down.
[00:37:19] James: Puke from heaven, from heaven. One more time. Rain down, rain down. Puke from heaven.
[00:37:36] James: Rain down, rain down, puke from everywhere. David, we need to stop. You know why? Because we won’t stop.
[00:00:37] Speaker 6: No.
[00:37:51] James: Because nobody’s listening.
[00:00:37] David: Yeah, nobody’s listening. You want to do that again?
[00:00:37] Voice Actor: Bye.
[00:37:58] James: You know, somebody asked me, oh, Michael for the Weekly Burner asked me, how many times do you have to do that before he realizes that you want him to say nobody’s listening?
[00:00:38] Speaker 7: I don’t ever notice, it’s like it’s been a long time ago.
[00:00:38:11] James: Bye, dude.
[00:38:37] Speaker 6: One night, in quiet suburbia, a listener settles down for a podcast.
[00:38:54] Speaker 7: Hello? Who’s this? Who’s this? You tell me your name and I’ll tell you mine.
[00:39:02] Speaker 7: I don’t think so. What’s that noise? Popcorn. You’re making popcorn?
[00:00:39] Speaker 7: Uh-huh. I only eat popcorn at the movies. Well, I’m getting ready to listen to a podcast. Really?
[00:39:16] Speaker 7: What? Oh, just some silly podcast. You like silly podcasts?
[00:00:39] James: Uh-huh. What’s your favorite silly podcast?
[00:39:28] Speaker 7: I don’t know. You have to have a favorite. What comes to mind? Um, the Combobulator.
[00:39:36] Speaker 7: You know, the one where the guys talk about movies and video games and all sorts of stuff. Where can I find it? You can download it from www.combobulator.co.uk or you can look for them on iTunes. So, what’s your name?
[00:39:54] Speaker 7: Um, why? Because I want to know who I’m looking at.
[00:39:58] Speaker 6: So lock your doors, bolt those windows and settle in to the Combobulator. www.combobulator.co.uk or look for us on iTunes.