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David takes the storytelling wheel this time and shares a very traumatic but funny story of a time when decorating a treehouse became a deadly endeavor. We also read some emails, tell your stories and sing a recap song. Big surprise.
We’re also announcing a new segment called “You Ain’t Right” where David and I will each tell a very brief story. Then you email in and tell us which one “ain’t right”! I don’t think we’ll be doing any prizes… but we’ll say your name on the podcast and give you praise on the website. Be looking for it next week.
Thanks to all of you who have reviewed us on iTunes. The rest of you are not being thanked. Remember the Frapper Map and Forums!
Send us your stories! Call the Nobody’s Calling line! You like us? Prove it!
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Show Notes
Weekly Update: David was on MySpace and got a message from his friend (Let’s call her “Lucy”). He responded to it, but it turned out to not be the person he thought it was.
James goes to Fazoli’s with his family and a friend. A group of fancy college girls talk loudly about going to Rome.
Featured Story: David, John, and Justin were throwing stuff into a tree. David also bought some cool rope and a pot. Injuries ensue, but Leeann came to the rescue.
News:
- Thanks to all of the people who left iTunes reviews, but James and David are disappointed.
- Go to the Frappr map. There are new pins from Australia, Brazil, Canada, California, and more.
- Go to the forums, don’t ignore ‘um.
- The hosts are considering a segment called “You Ain’t Right,” consisting of James and David each telling a story, one of which is lying. The listeners get to guess which one is lying.
E & V-Mail:
- Ryan thinks the podcast should put out an album.
- Austin (“wiggles”) tells a story about windshield cleaner, a longboard, and a match.
- Mark (“Gsmith”) from Ohio talks about posting on the forums.
- Nathan loves the podcast and apologizes for sounding like Marty McFly’s dad.
Recap Song:
At least 7 people think the podcast is pretty cool. Please put 5 stars, not 2. David finally had a weekly update. Don’t ever assume a woman in pregnant. David stole a pot out of the kitchen. Gsmith totally owned the forums. Nathan should get antibiotics. Wiggles should find some non-pyromaniac friends.
Memorable Moments:
- Myspace, “the trailer park of the internet”
- The first reference to “Lucy” occurs in this episode.
- “Jonathan, get some leaves!”
- “You can’t afford an iPod? What’s the deal?”
Full Transcript
[00:00] AI: You’re listening to Nobody’s Listening. Episode 6. Recorded on Wednesday, January 31st. Strong bad, I can see the strings.
[00:21] James: Hey out there podcast people, this is James and my brother’s here. David. And you’re listening to Nobody’s Listening, which is really odd considering nobody is listening.
[00:29] David: Yeah, nobody is.
[00:30] James: We’re so glad that you are here and we are so glad to have so many new listeners. And you know, I’m all paranoid now, Dave, because it’s like we have to have a standard. Oh my gosh, we have to we have to keep it up there. We have to keep impressing the people we have to sell out.
[00:45] David: I didn’t. Did I get that contract, that TPS report, that memo?
[00:49] James: The TPS reports. Anyway, Nobody’s Listening is a podcast where we tell you true life and funny true life stories, and we invite you to do the same, and some people have this one, Dave.
[01:00] David: Oh yeah, definitely.
[01:01] James: So anywho, first thing off, let’s go straight into our weekly update. David, this is your week. I went first last time, so you have a weekly update.
[01:10] David: I do, and it’s funny.
[01:11] James: Oh my gosh.
[01:12] David: So I was on MySpace, okay? I don’t really do the MySpace thing.
[01:15] James: The trailer park of the internet.
[01:17] David: So if you want to find me on MySpace, Dave Kennison, that’s where you can find me, or MySpace slash DaveKennison.com. I don’t know how it works. You can find me that way. But anyway, so I was on the MySpace. I got a message from my friend. I’ll call her Lucy, OK, because I don’t want to use real names. And she is pregnant, she’s due next month. So I was like, hey, I haven’t talked to you in months, how’s everything going?
[01:39] David: You need to give somebody your phone number so I can call you and check up, we got a lot to catch up on and all this stuff. And I sent it to her, and then I sent her another message, I was like, oh yeah, here’s my phone number, call me. And so I left the message and went back to where she sent the message in, And I clicked on the picture, I was like, this does not look like Mer- Lucy, you know? Mer- what?
[02:05] David: No, this does not look like Lucy. Lucy.
[02:09] James: Mer-Lucy. Lucy. She’s a Merlock.
[02:11] David: So I clicked on the picture. Sure enough, it wasn’t Lucy. It was another Lucy. The wrong Lucy that’s not pregnant. So I started to lead her as my friend and erased all contact. So what’s the deal? You’d been… I knew this other Lucy, but the Lucy that I’m close with and know, and I thought it was her. I’m looking at the picture. So what did you send her? Hey, I heard you’re having a baby. You’re due next month. I heard your brother went out and spent time with you. How’s everything going?
[02:46] James: I had a similar thing like that because I sent a text to somebody who… Because we were going to we were going to try to film or Stream the show to the internet like the weekly more like guys who are doing them like the instance folks do and she wanted to watch it and be on live with us and So I texted her and told her the information and somebody texted back who’s playing I? And I was like, who’s, and then I realized this chick’s had her cell phone turned off for like six months. And so I sent all this information to some random person, whoever got her phone number. They ought to wait a while before they do that, before they send out new phone numbers. There ought to be a parking spot for, you ought to have to register a phone number, like a URL, and then only you get it. Because imagine how jacked up that would be if emails were that way. Just all of a sudden, I’m dropping my email, I’m going to another email, and then somebody else got the email.
[03:43] David: See, the same problem with phone numbers, if you ask me. James, what’s your weekly update?
[03:47] James: I don’t really have one because I’ve been in my brother-in-law’s basement.
[03:52] David: Shut up! Stop making fun of me, you fucking jerk.
[03:54] Speaker: I’m walking out. Come back, David. We love you. Anyway, 18 megs. We have to keep the 18 megs.
[04:01] James: We only got 18 megs left on our hosting account, so we got to keep it. Here we go. My weekly update. It’s not great, but I thought it was annoying. This isn’t necessarily funny. It’s just annoying. All right, we go to Fazoli’s. It’s me, my baby, my wife, and let’s call her Lucy.
[04:19] Speaker: What?
[04:19] David: You got to make fun of my crap.
[04:22] Speaker: I didn’t want anybody to know her real name. She’s a family member.
[04:28] James: Anyway, so we’re going to sit down and there’s this group of college age, you know, girls and, you know, college age girls are supposed to be all hot, right? Well, this, this was like the college.
[04:40] David: No, they’re not.
[04:40] James: I know. But they’re supposed to be like on TV and stuff This was the this is real college girls like that really make good grades that like go to all-girls school and they just and it’s not because they have morals or they wanted to study it’s because their their dad didn’t want to expose them to other So anyway, they’re all sitting there and and you just saw that instantly, you know, well-dressed and not not, you know, not ugly You know
[05:10] David: I’m sorry I’m burping, I just burped in the thing.
[05:13] James: It’s not even worth it why I told you all that. But anyway, I went by, I’m walking by, and all of a sudden I hear them talking, and it’s just… Rome! Two nights in Rome! I don’t know what we’ll do if we stayed three nights in Rome, everybody! Everyone in the entire restaurant, listen to our conversation, because we’re planning to go to Rome! And so through the entire meal, you know how people do that in line and stuff? They’ll be talking loud, because they’re not really talking to their friends. They’re talking to you, but they’re talking to your friends. And that’s exactly what they were doing, is every now and then you just hear, Scotland, Ireland, London, two nights in London. What will we ever do in London, everybody? London!
[06:05] James: And so yeah, it was quite annoying. And you know what, the sad truth is, I’ve done that before. I’ve talked to my daughter and be like, I want her to do tricks for people, so I’ll be like, let’s do ABCs, let’s sing them, Jenna! And she’ll be like, ABC, and then that’s the trick, you know? But anyway, you’re gonna have to excuse me, because I may cough today, David, I may do your job. What? I may cough, I have a. So yeah, that’s my weekly update.
[06:33] James: I mean, there were other things that happened, but all too often, things happen in real life that I can’t divulge on the show because of the simple fact that the people that it happened with listen. And I don’t care how many times I change their name to Lucy. I wouldn’t have any friends left.
[06:52] David: This friend does not listen.
[06:53] James: Yeah, so Anyway, I mean cuz dude the other week I had something horrible happen. But anyway, we got to get going. That was our weekly update. Hope you enjoyed it.
[07:02] James: Now it’s time for the feature story. It sounds like a baby alligator.
[07:12] David: It does. Okay, James. My weekly story.
[07:16] James: Oh, that’s right. It’s your weekly story. The featured story is brought to you by David Kinison. David.
[07:23] David: Anyway, okay, you know how when you’re young and you like eight to ten, you do stupid stuff. Like you put the water hose, turn it on, and start digging in the ground? Okay, yeah I’ve done that. There’s no really point to it. Yeah, but it goes into the ground. It’s really cool. But it doesn’t help anything but moles, you know? It drowns the moles. So in that same context, let’s bring it over to my world. Well, me, Jonathan, and our friend Judson, we’re in the backyard.
[07:46] James: Let’s call him Lucy.
[07:50] David: We were in the backyard playing with a tree, OK? Yeah, it’s throwing us around.
[07:55] Speaker: You had no friends. You had to play with a tree.
[07:57] David: No, me, Jonathan, and Judson were in the back. And we built this fort up in a big tree. Where was this at? What house? Georgia. OK. And so the thing is, we were trying to get stuff to throw up into the tree to make it even look even cooler. So I bought rope with five bucks I found that James surprisingly didn’t take away from me. And I bought some rope from a flea market. I don’t know why. It’s stupid things you get when you’re a kid. How old are you?
[08:23] AI: Eight?
[08:23] David: Mom, take me to the flea market. They’ve got lots of cool stuff. I want to buy some rope. It was awesome. I didn’t even want to cut it. It was so cool. So then me and Jonathan… This elvish rope that burns as precious it burns. So the thing is, we got this big old pot. I can’t explain it. The biggest pot you can basically get from an oven.
[08:44] James: Oh, like a dish.
[08:45] David: No.
[08:47] James: Like a cooking pot. Okay, a cooking pot. Okay.
[08:49] David: Yeah, like you put a soup in. I didn’t know what you and your friends were doing up there in the tree. So anyway, John is next to the little pond. Remember that time I pushed him in?
[08:58] James: He’s looking at it. That wasn’t a pond. That was a sewer.
[09:02] David: It was a sewer drain, y’all. So anyway, me and Judson’s in the tree, and he throws down the rope, I tie the pot up to the rope, and I’m holding it over my head, and I’m like, Judson, pull it up, he’s like 10 feet up. He starts pulling it, you know, I’m like, okay, he got it, so I let go of it, and I look level at Jonathan, you know, in disgrace, looking at this nasty sewage drain off that he was in two weeks earlier, and I’m like, John, what are you doing? And I hear a cack, and I’m like, Man, look up, Justin, what happened, dude? I started sweating, dude. Don’t do it. And I start sweating so bad, dude. I was like rubbing my eyes and all this. So I had my eyes closed. When I opened up my eyes, my hands were covered with blood. He let the pot drop from the freaking tree and nail me right at the crown of my head, cracked my scalp open. And I’m like, I’m like, Jonathan, get leaves. What did you say? Get the leaves! You know you’re a kid. Even Brian Regan says it. Leaves heal everything.
[10:04] Speaker: Yeah, but you told him to get some leaves.
[10:08] David: He didn’t know. He just heard clunk and he was still mad at me in remorse. God, you’re bleeding. So I’m bleeding all over my head. And just like, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. He runs down the thing. I’m like, Leanne, get Leanne. She’s the almighty savior. So I’m running. I’m like, guys, it’s okay. I’m starting to get lightheaded while I’m running to the house.
[10:26] James: I’m like, Leanne, 9-1-1, 9-1-1. Leanne’s our older sister, or no, her older sister. Her older sister. I’m number one, Leanne was number two.
[10:34] David: Yeah. And so I’m like, Leanne, code 13. We’ve had this happen before. Blood out of small gashes. And I’m like, Leanne, code 13. She’s like, sit down. She pulled my hair back. Oh, nothing. It’s a laceration of a quarter-inch, quarter-inch down the scalp. It’s perfectly fine. Haven’t touched the skull yet. So I’ll call mom, verify everything’s okay.
[10:52] Speaker: You know, it was like she knew everything.
[10:54] David: So she’s like, well, we’ll put some Bondo on it. I don’t know. We’ll fix it. We’ll fix it. Some J.B. Will. We’ll do something with it. So she all patched me up, called mom, and mom didn’t even come home because she knew things happened.
[11:06] James: Because you guys were always knocking holes in your head.
[11:08] David: We were always getting hurt. Yeah. Bruises I mean, everything. So Leigh Ann ended up just putting a stop the bleeding by doing something and put a cold pack on my head. But yeah, Jutz never came around after that. Mom hated him. I think Jonathan felt good about it, too, because he’s like, you know, two weeks later, you know, God puts out the wrath on you.
[11:29] James: Hey, Jonathan, if you’re listening, dude, you need to respond and send us an email or something or call us and tell us your side of that story.
[11:38] David: Oh, yes, you do, because I would love it.
[11:39] James: I want to get his unique perspective to see that pot falling through the sky and landing on his head. I just heard a chunk. I just want to know, John, was there a splatter? When it hit, did it pop like a small balloon full of tomato sauce? That’s what I want to know.
[11:54] David: It probably did, but it was really hot.
[11:56] James: I want to also know, did he cry? I did not cry. You didn’t cry? No, I didn’t. Eight years old, you didn’t cry? I was perfectly fine. You guys must have been like super boys because I would cry at anything. Anything. You looked at me wrong, I’d cry. Yeah. It’s a terrible thing.
[12:13] David: It is. It’s scary.
[12:14] James: But you know what? I pushed through with it, James. You had a tougher dad than I did. That must have been the truth.
[12:19] David: I felt like I was on Lost. And nobody else was there. But Leanne.
[12:23] Speaker: Leanne was the savior.
[12:26] James: Just to establish Leanne as the matriarch of our family, one time she was holding my brother Jonathan. This was before you were born, David, so you really have no unique perspective on this.
[12:35] David: I can’t say nothing.
[12:36] James: She was carrying him and walking down the hall. She tripped and fell, and somehow, not unlike a cat who always lands on her feet, Leanne spun and finagled through the air, slow motion like the Matrix, and landed on her back so that she wouldn’t fall on Jonathan as she was carrying him. She’s carrying him in front of her, fell, and somehow twisted around to fall on her back. I remember that.
[13:03] Speaker: I was looking down from heaven, waiting in line.
[13:47] AI: you
[13:59] James: All right, it’s time. That was our featured story. It’s time for news, email, and voicemails. In the news department, we just wanted to say thank you, all you new listeners, for leaving us some iTunes reviews. We’ve got how many, David?
[14:11] David: Seven.
[14:12] James: Yes, we have seven reviews from our fans. And so we have at least seven people that truly love us. The rest of you? It hates us. Or nobody’s listening. You can’t afford an iPod? What’s the deal?
[14:25] David: You don’t even need an iPod. Just go to iTunes, download the program.
[14:28] James: Just download it. And most of you are aggregating through iTunes. It’s not hard to do. A little guilt trip never hurt anybody. Anyway, so that’s our news. Basically, let me translate that. We’re disappointed. I’m hurt. I’m feeling you know, we put the work in. Yeah, we sit for a half an hour and talk. That’s hard work. Somebody not, you know, y’all ain’t doing it. So yeah, you know, gosh, someone needs to you could do also go to the frapper map because we have had a ton of people So, you know, 18 plus put their pin in on our fracker map.
[15:02] David: Yeah, we had a new one today.
[15:04] James: Did you check that one? Yes, I did. We’ve got one from Australia. We got one from Brazil, which I was really impressed with. Yeah. And one from Canada and a couple few from California. And then one from Ireland? Yes. And then one from England?
[15:18] James: England. And we’ve got one from Ohio. Ohio? One special young man from Ohio. Who pretty much P owned or owned or owned our message boards this week? Anyway, we’ll get to that in a minute, but we do have forums and so get on our forums. Don’t ignore them Leave a message about lorem that was from our song as we get it keeps going through my head warm lorem She’s from the Wow add-ons podcast or vidcast You don’t know anything about it, but she’s there. And the WOW listeners, they know. They’re my listeners. Anyway, we’re also thinking about doing a new segment. I talked with David briefly about this, but I want to call it, You Ain’t Right. And what we’ll do, if we decide to do this, is we will tell very, very brief stories, or maybe situations. And I will do one, and David will do one. And it’ll be up to you, the listener, to respond with email.
[16:12] David: With email and voicemail, or just email?
[16:14] James: I want to keep it simple. Let’s say email because it’s going to be a real simple response. You’ll just basically tell us which one is lying. We are storytellers. I like to think we do all right. So we will try to totally bullcrap you and get one of – one of us will be telling a lie. One of us will be telling the truth and you got to tell us which one ain’t right. So we may be doing that next week. Anyway, emails. Let’s get on to emails.
[16:44] David: I think I read this one before.
[16:46] James: Did you?
[16:47] David: Yeah.
[16:47] James: On the air?
[16:48] David: Did we do it on the air? No, no, I’m talking about already a couple days ago. Okay, cool.
[16:52] James: Well, first of all, Ryan wrote in and said he thinks we should put out an album of improvised comedy acoustic rock because he says, I think you’ve got a great voice and are really good at the guitar. Well, thanks, Ryan. I am. Shut up, dude. I really take that personally. I’m really good at singing and I am really good at the guitar, so thank you. Actually, I’m lying. David plays the guitar on all of the episodes that we’ve done so far, except for one. I played for a little while on one of them. It might have been episode two or three, but probably two. But David plays the guitar and he does a darn good job of it. So I just want to give credit where credit is due. David plays the guitar. Thank you. I do most of the singing. David does the random comments. But, you know, who knows? I mean, we’re thinking into the future, but if people like our random songs… You can put a compilation CD together. We could develop them and turn them into real pieces of junk instead of pieces of crap. And do something, you know. I don’t know. I can’t imagine selling them.
[17:52] Speaker: I don’t know.
[17:54] James: David needs money somehow.
[17:56] Speaker: Anywho, so that was Ryan. Thanks, Ryan, for listening. Austin Wiggles.
[18:01] James: That’s his last name. No, it’s his nickname, but his last name’s not a whole lot different than that. But anyway, I’m not kidding. Was it like Tiggles?
[18:12] Speaker: I don’t want to give his last name on the air.
[18:14] James: It’s Stalkers, remember? Your friend that got killed last week.
[18:17] David: Matt, you’re dead.
[18:18] James: Anyway, he says he’s been listening to the show since the beginning. He said he just wanted to say don’t forget the first listeners and viewers when you make it big. So he’s got more faith in us than we do. Anyway, his story involves windshield cleaner, a longboard. Do you know what a longboard is? Yeah, it’s a skateboard. Is it a long skateboard? Okay. Must be a California thing or something.
[18:37] Speaker: Definitely.
[18:37] James: Long story short, he got on his skateboard and duct taped some washer fluid to the skateboard had his told his friend he was going to go down the hill a little bit to light the trail of washer fluid while he was going down this hill so that the fire would chase him as he was going down. Okay, that was apparent. That’s what I got out of it. At first, I thought it was some sort of thing where it was supposed to rocket propel him down the hill.
[19:08] David: What’s washer fluid have to do with it?
[19:10] James: I don’t know. I didn’t know it was flammable.
[19:12] David: Awesome. Send me a message, Jude. I got to talk about this one. Go ahead.
[19:15] James: Yeah. Well, anyway, so, but the friend apparently lit it immediately after. Oh, crap. He did that. And so the fire was coming at him and he was trying to go faster and faster and faster and the fire was catching up with him and he’s thinking, man, I’m going to get busted. Well, anyway, the fire did eventually catch up with his board and began to catch on fire, the bottles catch on fire, the back of the skateboard’s on fire, so he’s a blazing streak of glory going down the hill. And about that time, a friend of his in a white Humvee pulls up. So apparently these are rich kids with nothing better to do. It’s a friend of his in a Humvee and he swerves out of the way because the Humvee’s gonna hit him. She actually heads right toward him thinking this is the funniest thing she’s ever seen. And he swerves off and lands in the lawn. And he tries to get to the board, but the board turns to ashes right there in front of him. And the real trick was his friends are laughing at him because he had been saving up for that board and had just gotten it the day before. And so now he’s currently saving up for another one. So I don’t know if this was supposed to be a funny story, but it’s definitely appeal for funds, which we will not support. We’re not going to do that. I’m sorry. No money for you, dude. Next time, videotape it. That’s all I can say. Videotape that.
[20:30] David: Put it on YouTube.
[20:31] James: That’s right. So he’s also asking what’s the deal with the Christian clown. So he says it’s scary. And I sent him a pretty long response to that. But as I don’t know, Joe Joe’s he didn’t call in this week. Okay, so anyway, email that finishes up our email, we do have a couple voicemails. So this one is from Mark in Ohio, aka G Smith from the forums.
[20:56] Speaker 2: Hey, guys, this is Mark from Ohio. Just want to say love the podcast. And I actually logged on to your forum, so I can’t go posting crazy. My login name is G Smith, and I post it a lot. I actually posted a story called Fat Cookies. You can look at that. It’s pretty funny. But just wanted to say hi, and just wanted to say, guys, keep up the great work. And I’ll be waiting for next week. Thanks, guys. Bye.
[21:26] James: So yeah, thank you, Mark G. Smith. Me and him, we’ve both, we were on the forums this week talking with him and stuff and he put up a few good stories and apparently he’s got a friend who’s posted some lyrics and things so people are really taking it to heart and going for it. So there was one story that they told where they were in a fight.
[21:51] Speaker 4: He says, I only kick because I don’t have much arm strength.
[21:57] James: So, yeah, I just kick. And he had a signature move, which included lowering his head and ramming him with his head. I’m like, that’s not a signature move. That’s just what you do when you are losing. So, yeah, anyway, you’ll have to get on the forums to read all about it. And then who was that guy who, was it one of these guys that dyed their hair black so they could look like a rock and roll star? Yeah, it was Ryan. And their bus driver, the bus driver looked at him and said, you look like you’re from the village of the.
[22:28] David: And then I sent him a message about my- See, that sounds like JoJo stuff right there. And then I sent him the message about me checkering my hair.
[22:36] James: Yes, David. Anyway, so we’re glad you guys are out there. Apparently, we only have two fans and it’s Ryan and G Smith there. Anyway, we did get one more voicemail and you’ll remember this guy from last show.
[22:50] Speaker 3: Hello, this is Nathan again, aka Marty McFly’s father. Loved the podcast, laughed my head off. My apologies are sounding like this. I’ve just had a cold for the past, like, three years and cannot get over it. So, uh, I’m thinking about going into the doctor later on and getting some kind of antibiotic. So, anyway, you guys are doing a great job. You guys have an awesome day and look forward to the next podcast. Talk to you later. Bye.
[23:28] James: He knows how he’s had to throw that pakachow at the end so he wouldn’t sound like George McFly yet again. And it is George McFly, I figured it out.
[23:35] David: Yeah.
[23:36] James: Anyway, so thanks Nathan for listening, buddy. And I know, I talked to him on the phone this week, and he sounded fine. He sounded just like his normal self.
[23:45] David: I think he puts it on.
[23:46] James: I think, well, I know he did that time, but you could hear it in his voice when I was listening to it through my headphones. He is sick. He is very sick. Wow. So, anyway, I hope you get better soon. Well, as you know, and if you don’t know, we always recap the entire episode in song. It’s going to be hard for me to do because I didn’t tell the story this week, but we’re going to do the best we can. Okay. It’s called the Recap Song.
[24:19] Speaker 4: La da da da da da da Da da da da da La da da da da Hey hey We got some iTunes reviews on the way
[24:37] James: At least seven of y’all think we are pretty cool, but the rest…
[24:41] Speaker 4: I guess you belong in nursery school, cause you don’t know how to write a simple review. And, uh, please, when you do, put five stars, not two. Anyway… My brother had a weekly update today. I know it’s hard to believe. I was quite embarrassed. All I know is you never want to guess If someone happens to be pregnant You just don’t want to go there, my friend Listen to me, I’m trying to tell ya If she’s a little portly Or maybe has a little beer belly Just don’t ever assume she’s with child Have you ever done that, David? No, only once. It’s terrible, because she looks at you and says, no, I’m not expecting a child. It’s the worst thing ever. Cause there you are acting like you’re clever Trying to be concerned Trying to do it But your lesson hasn’t yet been learned But the first time you have somebody do that to ya
[26:19] James: You’ll never guess again. Man, I mean, just let them have the kid. Wait three full years after they’ve had the child to ask them if they were pregnant at some point in their past. Because, dude, women will knock you out. My mama said knock you out. Don’t ever guess at that. Anyway. Change it up a little bit, because this is a sad song. It’s a sad song.
[26:48] Speaker 4: That’s not sad.
[26:50] James: Oh, you want a sad song? Yeah, a sad song.
[26:52] David: OK. I said minors were sad, and you said they’re not. OK. Here, I’m going to play something. You see what I mean? Come on.
[27:24] James: It was a few weeks after my brother had set in a cesspool.
[27:30] Speaker 4: It would’ve been two weeks since my brother tracked water on my mama’s floor. It had been two long weeks, but not long enough. It was time for retribution. It was time for things to be set straight.
[27:46] Speaker 4: My brother and another brother and another guy I never met before were trying to make a tree house. They should have stayed down on the floor instead of being elevated. They were trying to put cool stuff up there to make it look good. My David bought a rope that was cool. He didn’t want to cut it. I don’t know what kind of childhood he would have to make it so nice to have a rope. Why would you want a rope? You must be a dope. Can’t you cope with the fact that you were poor and the only thing you could afford was a rope? You didn’t have no pets. You didn’t have no friends. You had to play with a rope. I don’t understand that. I can’t get over that fact. Let me get back to the point We were making our treehouse cool And the coolest thing we could find Was a frickin’ pot, dude We put that on my rope And I drug it up to the treehouse Somebody said something And I was sweating And then suddenly I heard a little peep
[28:54] James: Here, give me that. In case you were wondering, that beeping sound is our timer that tells us we’re out of time. Michael Murlock called me. Michael from the Weekly Murlock called and said, what the heck?
[29:05] Speaker 4: I love your songs, but what’s the deal with the beeping?
[29:09] James: Anyway, I was getting to the good part when the beeping went off. Yeah.
[29:20] Speaker 4: i think my brother david he saw jesus that day he felt the blood drip down his face he reached up and he saw a laceration he almost didn’t make a second generation because he almost died right there on the floor from a guy named justin who was stupid and dropped the pot on his head he was he almost bled out and died that day but he reached up and tried to block the stoppage and the The clotting started almost immediately, so they ran inside my sister for to see. And my sister sat her down and looked, cause she was Dr. Quinn, the medicine woman. And she opened that thing and said, I can’t see your skull, so I guess you have to go to school anyway. I got some Bondo. Gonna stick it in pronto. I’ll buff out that head. Put a little turtle wax upon it Make it shine until I can see my reflection on it That’s the way it goes, David let me sing about the forms and g smith and how he totally owned him he’s from ohio he’s 14 years old ain’t got nothing better to do but misspell words i guess he’s all right i guess he’s cool i don’t want to make fun of everybody who listens because that would be foolish but g smith you know you’re happy that you made it in the recap song bud And Nathan, please, please get the antibiotics quickly, bud. Because if I ever see you, I don’t want you passing that crud on to me. Because you sound like George’s dad. I don’t know what kind of virus you had, but it must be bad. Because I ain’t never heard nobody change their voice because they got a little cough. Wiggles, you got a longboard, at least you had one before you got too bored and decided it would be a good idea to strap some washer fluid on the back wheels and go downhill. You better get better friends that aren’t pyromaniacs, cause that could be the end of every bit of fun you ever had. Did you even ask your mom and dad before you went down that hill And tried to crash into a Humvee and get yourself killed? You fell in the front yard and you’re bored Turned to ash and you might as well call out to the Lord Cause he wasn’t even able to save you That’s the way it is, brother, when misbehavin’
[31:57] James: I should be a rapper but I’m a cracker and all I can do is talk about the crapper like last week when the yo dog man pooped on himself and oh man I think I’m done but boy was that fun it was more of a rap than a song but that’s okay because our show’s too long and it’s gonna be 22 megs with just a few megs over and I’m gonna have to update our account over at Lip Sync and then it’s gonna be terrible because I can’t afford it oh my lord it Well, anyway, that’s the end of our show. I hope you enjoyed it. It was great. And we had fun. David, did you have fun, bud? Yeah, it was okay.
[32:36] Speaker 4: Did you have fun, Davey Wavey?
[32:38] James: So anyway, it’s time for us to go. Make sure you give us an iTunes review. Go to the Frapper map, leave a pin. It takes just a moment of your time. Get on the forums, man. It’s a great way to communicate. See, because we’re sitting in this office and it’s just the two of us, there’s no way to interact with you otherwise. And we really, really want this to be a part of your life and you to be a part of ours. So anyway, let us know you’re there. Email us. Call us. Let me give you the info. Tell somebody about the website, nlcast.com. Email us at nobodyslistening2us at gmail.com. And call us on the nobody line.
[33:12] David: 206-600-5704.
[33:15] James: Please, please, please, please help us out. Because the honest truth is, nobody’s listening.
[33:26] Speaker 4: Do you want to redo that? No, I think it’s going to have to stay.
[33:30] James: Okay, okay, hold on hold on okay, you’ve been working on but I haven’t put a person You’ve been working on this song from heart called crazy on you.
[33:46] David: Let’s let’s hear the update Oh God I forgot already go
[34:01] James: Oh, dude, that sounded better than it did last time.
[34:05] David: Oh, God. It’s a… Dang it. Dude, I’m impressed. Hold on. And you get this weird…
[34:32] Speaker 4: I couldn’t do it.
[34:37] James: There’s the proof that David is the musician and not me. That’s my favorite part.
[34:43] David: Oh God! I forgot how to play it.
[34:49] James: That’s right folks. Go down there and get that song heart. Is that a real song? Who, what is it?
[35:07] David: Dave Matthews.
[35:08] James: Oh. That explains that crap. Who’s the guy that sings Your Body is a Wonderland? Your body is… John Mayer died.
[35:21] David: I hate this guy. I hate his song.
[35:23] James: I want to throw up on somebody every time I hear that song.
[35:27] David: John Mayer. Quit touching that. He’s political and I don’t like him. Quit touching it. I can’t. But he has a good song called Gravity. If you want to listen to a good song, a bluesy type, it’s amazing.
[35:43] James: I’m sold. I love John Mayer all of a sudden.