00:00 – 00:14
This is that story show where if we don’t want to use your real name, you’re Lucy. Hey, podcast people. I’m James Kenison and John Steinklopper is not here. I’m going to try to do the show all by myself.

00:15 – 00:29
All by myself, like my daughter used to say when she was two years old. Now she does everything by herself because she is 20. Welcome to That Story Show, where we share your hilarious real-life stories. Our opening story is this.

00:29 – 00:44
Matthew from Chicago, Illinois. It goes like this. Greetings, James and John and StoryLord. I am sorry to say that I have to express disappointment in one of your listeners, and that listener is me.

00:45 – 01:00
I have a brief colonoscopy story that I did not send in, in which to contribute to the colonoscopy story streak being broken. So here is my story. Yeah, you suck, Matt. You’re the worst.

01:02 – 01:17
During my colonoscopy about a year ago, I woke up during the process of withdrawal. when they were reeling in the hose. Oh gosh. No way.

01:17 – 01:30
Okay. So in the eighties, they had canister vacuums and the vacuums had these hoses that were like spirals, plastic spirals. And that’s what I imagine is coming out. Boy, it’s like ribbed.

01:31 – 01:41
Anyway, I woke up during the process of withdrawal. That’s it. Well, one additional item. Sometimes in the dark of night, I relive this moment and shudder.

01:41 – 01:55
I love this show. Matt from Chicago. Well, Matt, thank you for sharing your colonoscopy story. I can’t imagine waking up during any part of that process.

01:55 – 02:23
Because there was one time they did a procedure on me on a special table. And, uh, basically it was, it was like a regular table, except it had a place to put your knees, like, like you were kneeling. And then you would bend over and lay down on the bed part face down. So now you are in the spanking position.

02:25 – 02:58
And then they had you lower your drawers, which is embarrassing, right? Cause there’s three people back there. And then, magic of magics, surprises of surprises, the freaking table starts rising. And not at the same speed like you would think, because the part where your head is moves up very slowly, but the part where your newly displayed butt is goes up about twice the speed until the blood rushes to your head.

02:59 – 03:15
And so you’re read from not only being embarrassed, but also being the wrong way up. I don’t know the last time I’ve had my butt above my head. As a child, you do flips. You hang off the side of the couch.

03:16 – 03:33
You sleep upside down on your mattress just to see what it feels like. And you put your feet on your pillow and you put your head under the covers. There’s all kinds of ways that you can have your butt elevated above your head when you’re young. But I am 51 and I was at least 50 at the time.

03:34 – 03:53
And it was not the way you want to do it, first of all, with a machine and with an audience. But I don’t know. I don’t know who invented that thing. It must have been a butt doctor, because they’re like, there’s very specific plans that I’ve drawn up, sir, who’s building this.

03:54 – 04:09
And it needs to have a kneeler. And it needs to get that butt up faster than that head. As the first one you made, it all rose up together. And there’s not enough.

04:10 – 04:26
There’s not it’s the wrong angle. Like I can’t see up in there like I need to that but needs to be like poking out. So rework this model. And let’s get that butt up where it needs to be.

04:26 – 04:37
We have a few announcements. Narthex 0.5 is 5. Narthex 0.5 is Saturday, June 28th, 4 to 6 p.m. Eastern in Atlanta, Georgia.

04:37 – 04:43
It is free. It is fun. Me and John will be there. Other fans will be there.

04:43 – 05:06
We got people driving in, flying in, whatever, from Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Florida, a few folks from Georgia there who are lucky enough to live nearby. It is going to be a blast. We’re going to have giveaways and trivia, and we’re going to record a show, and you’ll have a chance to share your stories live. and it will be awesome and it is free.

05:07 – 05:20
All you got to do is register. For more information and to register, go to narthexcon.com. Also want to tell you the prize for this week. This week, it’s something for everybody, but I hope a young lady wins it.

05:21 – 05:35
It’s Paper Mate Flare Felt Tip a pins special edition candy pop. So I don’t know if they smell good. You shouldn’t be sniffing pins. Anyway, I think that was something from my generation and you see what happened to me.

05:36 – 05:50
I’m doing a podcast where we talk about butts being in the air, but there are six pins and they’re all different cool colors. There’s not a just straight up red one. It’s like a violet. And there’s not a straight up orange one.

05:50 – 06:03
It’s like this creamy dandelion color, and a light blue, and a dark purple. But it’s lighter than dark purple. I don’t know. But I saw it.

06:03 – 06:13
And I was like, I could mail this to somebody. But they claim that there’s a fun factor. They’re smear and fade resistant. And they won’t bleed through paper.

06:14 – 06:31
So this will be good for somebody’s diary, maybe for some love notes. Yeah. I thought about that today. I thought about love notes and, uh, I was, cause I was trying to come up with social media content for my work.

06:32 – 06:51
And so I wrote this, I said, I said the name of my company and colon. So it was like me colon. Um, Do you want to buy a brand new digital printer? Yes, no, or maybe?

06:51 – 07:03
Please say yes with a heart. Or actually I said me passes you a note. Well, you know, my business passes you a note. You read, do you want to buy digital printer?

07:04 – 07:14
Yes, no, or maybe. And heart, please check. Yes. So I thought that was cute and funny and a little risky for a business to put out something so silly.

07:15 – 07:21
Let’s do a weekly rewind. Here we go. All right. It’s just me.

07:21 – 07:41
So I’ll go first. And last, um, okay. So I have this water bottle and I carry it with me everywhere because I drink a gallon of water a day. It’s something I worked myself up to and it’s very healthy for you and I feel better than other people because of it.

07:41 – 07:58
So I, I’m one of those people that carries around the water bottle, but unlike most people, I actually drink out of it and I am able to drink so much water because I flavor it. I flavor it with 7UP. Drink Mix. That’s right, they make it.

07:59 – 08:18
They make such a thing. They not only make 7-Up Drink Mix, they make Cherry 7-Up Drink Mix. And the funny thing about the drink mixes, by the way, is that 7-Up Drink Mix will help you realize that most of the flavor of 7-Up is the carbonation. There’s really not a lot going in there.

08:18 – 08:46
If you want to test that theory, shake up your bottle of 7-Up and open it immediately. And after you get done with your shower, drink some of it, and it’ll be pretty disappointing. But Cherry 7-Up, on the other hand, has double flavor, and I need to put two packets in my drink at a time. So I put one cherry and one regular, and it’s perfect.

08:46 – 09:24
OK? That’s important to the story, and I got through it quickly because it was boring. But what I do is I scoop two scoops of ice into my water jar, jug, whatever, and then I put my powder in there because I want the water to kind of go over the powder and the ice, therefore making it cold and distributing evenly the powder, right? So I’m talking to my wife, I’m getting ready for work, I throw in my ice, I throw in my powder, and I take a big swig almost all the way to my head.

09:25 – 09:51
Cause the ice started coming toward me and I could see inside and it was just powder and ice powder and dust, dust and ice is what it was. And I can’t imagine what that would have been like to, to taste that. I, I think, I think I might’ve flown through the air like freaking Peter Pan, uh, you know, fairy dust stuff. I, I, I think it would have tasted so bitter.

09:51 – 10:23
that I would think of a wonderful thought, like any happy little thought, like, you know, I wish my mouth didn’t taste like this. And now I’d hover above the ground and somebody would have to hand me a glass of water and I don’t know, a gallon of bleach. And once I got everything cleaned out, I could settle back down to the earth and walk upon the ground like a normal human. But dust and ice, do not.

10:23 – 10:31
Do not do it. Don’t do it. I remember when I was a kid, I put dust in water one time. It was pixie dust.

10:31 – 10:37
No, what do they call them? Pixie sticks. And it has dust inside of it. And it’s so good, right?

10:37 – 10:51
You know, they’re so good. So you’re like, this would make Kool-Aid, and you put it in the water, and no, it don’t taste anything like Kool-Aid. It is such a letdown. Matter of fact, my wife asked me, if you could invent something, what would you invent?

10:51 – 11:15
And I say, I would invent a pixie stick that tasted good, but if you put it in water, somehow something in it would melt away, and it would unleash super powder, and it would taste like a drink. How about that? If you can get behind that, I’m going to be on Kickstarter trying to make super powder. So get with it.

11:16 – 11:37
Just don’t hold it in your mouth too long because it will melt away and super powder will come out and you’ll be flying in the air like I almost did. So there you go. We got a review brought to you by Podgagement.com. Somebody named CEmperor9897 said, best show ever, five stars.

11:37 – 11:58
And then they said, don’t forget to vote for James and John in the upcoming election. And though I agree, you should vote for us. Um, we’re not running for anything. Um, but what would we run for if we were in, uh, let’s say we were working for Trump, you know, he’s, he’s appointing new people all the time.

11:58 – 12:29
You’ve gotten whole new departments. Maybe we could be the department of entertainment. And our job would be to try to entertain everybody that likes fart jokes and that kind of entertainment, you know, clean comedy entertainment that makes people laugh. Um, but if your mom walked in on you, uh, you wouldn’t have to turn it off unless I was saying fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart.

12:30 – 12:38
a whole bunch. And then your mom’s going to be like, what was that? Who is that? And you’re going to say, it’s Director James.

12:38 – 12:44
We voted him in. Don’t you know? And she’ll be like, oh, yeah. Yeah, I voted him in for change.

12:44 – 13:00
I did it so that we would have a new era in entertainment. And that’s all he’s got? He’s just saying fart a lot? And you’ll say, um, he did what he promised on the campaign trail.

13:00 – 13:09
He said he would bring farts back into the family. And that’s what he’s doing right now. And, um, you voted for him. So you’re to blame.

13:10 – 13:32
And then she would be like, uh, give me your device until his election is up till he’s over being with the president. And then, you know, you’d be sad and you would have to hack your way into the podcast. And let me suggest several ways that you can hack into a podcast if they take your device. All right.

13:32 – 13:41
So parents just shut your ears a little bit. I’m going to share some secrets. One of them is to ask to borrow their device. OK?

13:41 – 13:56
Sometimes parents will do that, even if you’re on restriction, if you’re on punishment. They just want you to shut up. Sometimes they just want you to shut your big fat mouth. And they will give you their device as long as you don’t buy anything.

13:56 – 14:07
Because there are passwords in there, and you could buy something on Amazon. But don’t. They will catch you. Because it’s Amazon sends emails to them telling them what you bought.

14:08 – 14:30
Okay, so that’s one way. The other way is if you have a Chromebook or a family computer and some headphones, you can log into thatstorieshow.com and listen to it there. So I don’t think you would get in trouble. for that because usually computers are in your family room.

14:31 – 14:47
And if your mom is taking away your device, it’s because she doesn’t want you to have screen time, right? But podcast time is different. And I’m probably going to get a lot of emails about this. So I’m going to give you just one more piece of advice.

14:48 – 15:21
Um, if your mom is a spanking mom, if she likes to give you spankings, uh, ignore everything I said, but if she’s a gentle parent mom, where she talks to you about good decisions and bad decisions and let you make up your own mind, absolutely ignore everything she says and do what you want to do and listen to the show. Um, if she’s a timeout mom, um, also, do what you want to do because it’s worth it. I mean, time out, just sit there for an hour, whatever.

15:22 – 15:34
You know that you got some good humor out of it. All right. Also, please leave us a review in Spotify or iTunes. It makes us really happy and it really helps the show.

15:35 – 15:44
Just go to review.thatstorieshow.com or get in your iTunes or Spotify app. Let’s do some featured stories.

15:47 – 15:53
All right,

15:53 – 16:06
let’s get into it. Uh, this first one comes from Nathan from Spokane, Washington. Hey James and John, I just finished a homemade bow and arrow project I’d been working on and I wanted to test it out. Of course you did.

16:07 – 16:15
Freaking made a homemade bow and arrow. How do you even do that? Is there a kit you can buy on Amazon? That’s amazing.

16:15 – 16:25
So I headed off into the woods behind my house for a little target practice. Of course she did. After a half hour or so of walking through the woods, I stumbled on some baby turkeys. Oh no.

16:27 – 16:46
with their mom just a little ways down the hill. Now, I know how protective animal mothers are around their young, but even after carefully considering this, I still wanted to get a closer look at the baby turkeys. You have no reason to be near baby turkeys. This is terrible.

16:46 – 17:00
This is a terrible idea, Nathan. In my defense, I was taking extra care to go way around the turkeys and come at them. That doesn’t matter if you were sneakier because you’re a sneaky murderer. You’re going to kill babies.

17:00 – 17:08
You can’t do this on my show. I’m going to have to do the retail harp. I’m telling you. Unfortunately, I got a little too close.

17:08 – 17:20
Good. The baby turkeys began to pop out of the tall grass and fly away. Good job, baby turkeys. All of a sudden the mother, alerted by her young, flying off, began to run towards me.

17:20 – 17:33
Good! Time slowed down as my brain realized what this meant. I had to run. Yeah, you better run, you evil, evil, I don’t know, bow and arrow man, you evil archer.

17:34 – 17:48
That should be the name of this story is the evil archer. I immediately turned around and began to run away. But as I looked back at the enraged turkey mother, I saw that she had taken flight. Yeah, they have wings.

17:49 – 18:05
They can do that. I don’t know that they can soar through the air, but they can definitely get up a few feet and close some space between you and the evil archer. Suddenly my foot got caught in the earth. And I stumbled to the ground as the turkey landed just short of me.

18:05 – 18:18
It’s because she was making plans, buddy. She’s not jumping in there. She has plans to make you suffer. As she began to advance, I frantically picked myself up and started swinging my bow to get her to back off.

18:18 – 18:39
That’s not how you use a bow! But what else were you gonna do? Turn it around and play it like a one-string guitar? This wasn’t doing much, and I realized there was only one way for me to safely get out of this mess as I chucked my newly-made bow at her side, knocking her back.

18:39 – 18:48
Oh, at her side. I thought you threw it beside her. And I’m like, that’s not gonna… Is that an international sign of giving up and turkeys just accept that and kind of go on about their way?

18:49 – 19:02
I don’t know. Anyway, he threw it at her side, the side of her, knocking her back and allowing a chance for me to escape. Is this a crossbow? Did you throw a crossbow at her?

19:02 – 19:20
It can’t be a regular bow. I was thinking like, like a bow that you saw in a Western, you know, a single stick with a piece of string. But if you threw that at her, she would just go right through it. You must have thrown a full-on crossbow, not a crossbow, a compound bow.

19:21 – 19:29
You know what that is? Look it up. Compound bow. It’s like a robot and a bow got together and had a baby.

19:30 – 19:45
Um, and they were married and stuff, but it, it looks like that. Anyway, it allowed me a chance to escape. It was two days before I went back there to retrieve my bow. Hope you enjoyed my terrifying life experience.

19:45 – 20:10
I hope you learned something, Nathan. from Spokane, Washington, watch out for baby turkeys and baby mamas because they will get you. I’m not your friend, Nathan. Um, I’m against you because I, I don’t think you should kill or even attempt to kill, uh, little animals.

20:10 – 20:17
I know how tempting it is. Like when you get a BB gun, You want to shoot it, man. I know that. I know.

20:17 – 20:28
And you’re like, I’m going to get a squirrel or a bird. And you know what? There’s a part of me that’s just fine with that. You know, I’m old school enough to where I believe that that is just fine.

20:29 – 20:41
Uh, but you don’t shoot a mama bird who’s sitting on eggs or something. Who’s got babies to feed. And you definitely don’t shoot the baby. unless you’re really good shot.

20:41 – 21:08
And if you can peg one baby, oh my gosh, but no, not baby turkeys. And forget what I said about all babies. Although I did have a conversation with my coworker today about how puppies might taste because she was being overly sensitive about something. And I was like, okay, if you think that is something that you should be sensitive about, I just randomly said, I wonder what a puppy tastes like.

21:10 – 21:32
Then I said, I guess it would have to do with how fat it was. You know, if you had a lot of good fat in it, it would taste better because a better cut of steak has marbling where there’s fat and meat together. So if you’re going to eat a baby, a baby dog, make sure it’s a tubby one. This is submitted by dad from a 12 year old.

21:33 – 21:42
Hello, James and John. My name is Joseph and I am the son of Mike. This started one year ago when I was 11 years old. I go to a camp during the summer.

21:42 – 21:56
The second night in, I was ready for bed and I hear some thunder. During storms at night, I usually toss and turn. The bunk beds are not too wide, so I usually sleep in the middle of the bed. Yeah, they are not very wide.

21:57 – 22:09
So I got into bed and fell asleep to the sweet sound of rain. The next morning, I woke up to my bed being hard and cold. I looked at the mattress and I wasn’t on a mattress at all. I was on the floor.

22:10 – 22:23
That night, I had turned 180 degrees on the bed, then fell off. And so my head was on the other side of the bed. So he’s upside down and on the floor. I went on with my day like nothing ever happened.

22:24 – 22:45
At the end of the week, we had a slideshow of pictures of stuff that happened during the week. And we all sat down to watch the slideshow. And when I looked at the screen, I saw a kid in a blue sleeping bag on the concrete floor and drooling. As soon as I saw that, I wanted to turn into a bat and fly away because it turns out one of the counselors thought it would be funny to take a picture of a weird looking kid who looked like he was dead.

22:45 – 22:50
Have a great day, and I hope this makes it on the show. It did. Middle school. You’re not.

22:50 – 22:58
Yeah, you’re middle school. You’re middle school. So so you fell off the bed. and rotated and never woke up.

22:58 – 23:09
That is a miracle. I did that once. I woke up on the floor, but I was on carpet, but never on concrete. Good Lord.

23:09 – 23:22
Maybe you knocked yourself out, gave yourself a little concussion. You know, did you see Jesus? Did you see a light that you were supposed to follow? Did they say your time was not done yet?

23:22 – 23:29
You have to go and be embarrassed about this? I don’t know. I don’t know what happens. But I will tell you about this story.

23:30 – 23:46
I was a children’s pastor back in the day, and I would take kids to kids camp. And I won’t bore you with all the details. I’ll just tell you what happened as I remember it. I remember laying in my bed, maybe reading.

23:47 – 23:59
All the boys were asleep. Everything was peaceful and quiet, and I hadn’t had a moment to myself. So I was reading or looking at my phone. Let’s say I was reading so it sounds better.

24:00 – 24:22
And I hear someone stir. I hear someone make a puke sound. And then a moment later, I hear a splatter. And then I get up as fast as I can because I know somebody just puked off the bunk, the upper bunk.

24:22 – 24:37
And that’s what I heard. I heard splat. It didn’t come all at once like it does in a toilet or on the floor. It was a sizable amount of time between the hurl and the spiral.

24:37 – 24:52
It was kind of like splurge, but a way to rhyme it. So I jumped up and it was dark, right? So I’m expecting to see a kid sitting up crying. No, there’s no kids sitting up and crying.

24:52 – 25:04
Everyone’s asleep. So I turn on my phone and I start looking, you know, my phone lantern, also known as a light bulb. No, known as a flashlight. I got there.

25:06 – 25:28
And I start pointing it around at kids and everybody’s asleep and peaceful. There’s no puke on the beds. Um, and, and, and then I start looking down because I’m like, well, maybe I can find where it ended up. And sure enough, between these two bunks is, uh, somebody’s luggage just covered in puke.

25:29 – 25:41
And so I have four possible boys. Well, actually just two, but I checked them all, checked them all. And they’re all asleep. There’s not, there’s not one of them that is not asleep.

25:41 – 25:58
But then I must’ve seen something, maybe some slime on his lip or maybe a piece of chicken in his nose. You know how that stuff be going up your nose sometimes. And I woke up this little boy and I was like, dude, he’s like, what? Cause he’s, you know, he’s sound asleep.

25:58 – 26:09
I was like, dude, you threw up. We need to go and clean you up. And you need to help me clean up because I can’t clean up puke. So I felt kind of guilty.

26:10 – 26:39
But I woke him up, I made him walk all the way down the bathroom, clean himself up, and then I asked where a mop and bucket was, and I made him push it all the way back down, and I made him, I’ve got some trash bags, and I had him put the luggage, it was his luggage, into the trash bag, and his shoes into the trash bag, and I just tied up the trash bag. And I don’t know what that kid wore the rest of camp. Maybe, hopefully, it was the last night of camp or something like that.

26:40 – 26:58
But I do know that his parents, when I got there, I told them he threw up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep. Never seen anybody do that before. You got the weirdest kid I’ve ever met and didn’t say that part. But I said, all of the puke stuff is in the bag and they had to deal with it.

26:58 – 27:08
And that’s why I got fired. I’m just kidding. I didn’t get fired, but I’m sure they didn’t love me anymore. This is from Carter from Moorland, Georgia.

27:08 – 27:26
Hi, my name’s Carter and I’m 13 years old. My family and I celebrated Christmas at my grandparents’ house. You should know that my grandparents have two houses, one by a lake and one normal one. So you have a lake house, like a rich person, and a normal house where not rich people live.

27:27 – 27:36
We always stay at the lake house. Yeah, of course you do. It’s the fun house. My grandma, who is very talented at cooking, said that she forgot the frozen corn at the other house.

27:36 – 27:52
So, like good men, my grandpa said he would run over there and get it for her. It was about a 25 minute drive. So, upon arrival, we were absentmindedly walking up to the door in the garage and turned the knob. It’s locked, I sighed.

27:52 – 28:03
Well, I’ll get the keys from the car, Grandpa answered, and I stood there waiting. Bad news, he stated. I left the keys at the other house. We stood thinking.

28:03 – 28:28
After looking around for ideas, I suddenly looked up, and there smack dab in the middle of the ceiling was an attic door. Is that the attic door? Is it connected to the one-way on the other side of your house?” I don’t know what a one-way is, but I asked, but he says, yes. But what, Grandpa, I urged, well, there’s no flooring at all.

28:28 – 28:40
And balancing that whole way would be too much for me. But without hesitation, I immediately replied, I will do it. I think they’re talking about an attic. Maybe that’s called a one-way in his world.

28:41 – 28:56
America is a big place. There are all kinds of crazy people that say crazy words for things. It took a while of convincing, but I finally got him to permit me to try it. When I got up there, it was going to be much longer and challenging of a distance than I had thought.

28:56 – 29:20
There were pipes, tubes, and boxes everywhere, some that I could not hurdle. That means to jump over. As I started my journey, my grandpa went down to the garage and got a flashlight and he started to shine it where I was going, but it was not doing much help because I was blocking most of the light with my body. And to make things worse, there was that itchy pink insulation everywhere.

29:20 – 29:32
I was balancing and stepping over everything. And then I slipped and I grabbed a wooden beam to steady myself. Breathing a sigh of relief, I continued my quest. Oh my gosh, I was so nervous that he was going to fall through.

29:32 – 29:44
I was almost there. I couldn’t see anything except the giant box that I could not pass. An adrenaline kicked in. I jumped up and grabbed the ceiling beam and shuffled right over that box.

29:44 – 30:02
I dropped onto the attic floor, finally reaching my destination. Just then I thought, how in the world am I going to open the attic door from the inside? Yeah, that’s why 13-year-olds, well, 11-year-olds, I guess, can’t make decisions. That’s why you still need parents.

30:02 – 30:09
But I yelled back to my grandpa, what should I do? And he said, just come on back. We’ll go home. No, I shouted.

30:09 – 30:15
I have to finish my job. So there I was, puzzling over this dilemma. Technically, you were in the house. You did do your job.

30:16 – 30:36
Just wing it, I thought out loud. It is complicated to describe how I did it. But I hung from the top stair and using my weight to push down, still hanging, I slowly flipped the first set of stairs down. So this is one of those ladder kinds.

30:36 – 30:48
So I had to stretch my arms very wide to lower the last set. I got in! I yelled triumphantly. I climbed down the stairs from excitement and I dashed to the front door and I opened it for my grandpa.

30:48 – 30:55
We walked to the freezer, grabbed the two bag of frozen corn. What a fun night! I exclaimed since I didn’t die. Yes!

30:55 – 31:06
Just don’t tell your grandma. She would freak out. He responded. We drove home just in time to start the creamed corn and after dinner my grandma asked, what took y’all so long?

31:07 – 31:19
It just took a while to get in, that’s all,” I said nervously, though I thought this would be a good story to share. I finally do get to share it right here on the show, and I hope it makes it on there. And that’s it! Thanks, Storylord!

31:20 – 31:30
You’re not supposed to thank Storylord. He works for me. Anyway, it’s time for us to announce a winner. So that’s all our stories for today.

31:31 – 31:46
It’s a set of six paper mate layers felt tip candy pop pins. And today I’m going to say, man, we had some good stories. Um, well, there’s all dudes, right? Let me see.

31:46 – 32:03
Matthew, Nathan, Michael, and Carter. Carter, your story was really good, dude. And it was long and there were dangers. She didn’t die.

32:03 – 32:31
Um, mattress falling was pretty funny. Um, I tell you what, since there’s no girls, what I’ll do, nobody claimed the Star Wars, uh, No, that’s not fair either. Here, let me do, uh, let me do this one. We’ll just give this away.

32:31 – 32:48
Uh, it’s a skippity toilet mystery collector figure. I had an extra one cause somebody didn’t claim theirs. So, um, Let me just pick somebody now. Sleepy Floor Kid, Attic Adventure, Mama Turkey.

32:48 – 33:04
Mama Turkey definitely does not win because, and Matthew, you’re a grown man because you had a colonoscopy story. So it’s between Sleepy Floor Kid and Attic Adventure. I got to give it to Attic Adventure. And congratulations, you won.

33:07 – 33:17
Anyway, StoryLord actually had a message. He said, I barely edited this one. This 13-year-old is a good writer and storyteller. So Carter from Moreland, Georgia, thank you for sending in your story.

33:17 – 33:30
Thanks for all the stories. This podcast is possible because of our supporting listeners on Patreon. Supporting listeners get ad-free listening, swag, and weekly bonus content. Try it out free for seven days at support.thatstorieshow.com.

33:31 – 33:44
Special thanks to our producers, James Spangler, Kerry Wright, and Christopher Tynan. Do you have a funny life story you’d like featured on this show? Submit your story at thatstorieshow.com. And while you’re there, join our Discord server and join our new Minecraft server.

33:45 – 33:58
More information at the Discord server. Please take a moment to leave a review on iTunes or Spotify. And don’t forget to email us your address if you’ve heard your story for a free sticker. And claim this skibbity toilet figure.

33:58 – 34:08
Remember, when something weird, annoying, embarrassing, or painful happens to you, don’t get stressed. Don’t get depressed. Just think, hey, this belongs on that story show. We’ll see you next week.

34:08 – 35:07
Bye, guys. Well I just built my new bow and I thought I would go outside to shoot something fast but I found some little critters and I pointed my bow and I snuck up too close and the turkey mama came after me she could fly and she’d cook out my eyes and she ate it right in front of me I threw my bow at her and tried to get her off of me but she was too fast I booked it out of there fast and then she came up and she told me don’t you ever do this to my babies I threw my bow at her and I said maybe I could get out the way and come back Thursday and get the bow I made so she would be gone and I would get paid.

35:07 – 35:15
I don’t know if that was any good, but that’s what I do. That’s how I roll. That’s how I rap. We’ll see you guys next time.

35:15 – 35:30
Bye. Hey, welcome to Stuff That Wouldn’t Fit on the Show, where we share stuff that wouldn’t fit on the show. I just finished doing a solo podcast, and I don’t know that I’ve ever done that. So it was the first time.

35:30 – 35:38
You’ll have to tell me what you thought. Is it better than zero podcasts? Because the reason why we did it, get more from That Story Show today. Support.thatstorieshow.com.