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This week Aimee spills her guts about a dress that she was never meant to wear… and how the universe almost made her pay!

 

Full Transcript:

Guys,um,I just wanna say you guys have like the best podcast. And I like really like it and stuff. My favorite one is The Freak How. It’s just hilarious.

Um,uh,there’s nothing really to say. I just,I just,I’m loving the podcast. It’s pretty,DON’T PUT IT DOWN! It’s,it’s just pretty awesome.

How you doing out there podcast people this is nobody’s listening podcast brought to you though the way It’s brought to you sometime in the in the near future. It’s brought to you the week of July 2012 2012 2007 I’m completely on top of my game today. Amy. It’s great.

Oh my it’s okay. I’m on it, too Anyway, nobody’s listening is a podcast where we hope that We want to tell you our funny life stories and we’ll hope you do the same. Okay, God. We want to hope.

We want to. You’re confusing people. You’re horrible. I’m going to blame the listeners.

But anyway, I am one of your hosts. My name is James and my sister’s here. My name is Amy. And we’re very, very sad today.

I have a throat thing going on. I have a nose thing going on. All right. So we just need David to be back on the show with an ear thing and then we can go to one specialist.

What’s been going on? Here’s your weekly update. Alright, Amy, do you have a weekly update or do you want me to go first? I do, I do.

It’s quite pitiful of me, but yeah, my husband and I went to dinner with our pastor on Saturday night and we get out of the restaurant and we sit in the car and he’s like, you know what, my throat hurts and I was like, so does mine. So anyway, to make a very short story even shorter, It just progressively got worse throughout the rest of the night and like by five in the morning. We’re like, we’re not going to sleep. Let’s just get up and watch TV.

And it was horrible. And our throats were killing us. And we were stuffed up. You and the pastor?

No, me and Anthony. Oh, I didn’t hear this later. There is a point that we went with the pastor. So it was Saturday night.

So the next day obviously was church. And I was like, what are the chances that we’re fine during dinner with the pastor? And we’re like, ha ha ha, you know, and then we get in the car and we all of a sudden both get sick. Like anybody would ever believe that you can’t just not go to church after not sleeping all night being sick when five minutes earlier You were out to dinner with the pastor, so it was really quite funny I mean it wasn’t at the time it is now that I

think of it We did end up getting up and going to church because we were like there’s no way we can get away with this and It’s gonna be so obvious. That’s why you need to go to a giant church like I do Right. I know. And just not be on staff.

He’s so good in with the pastor that you can’t even skip church without being noticed. He’s going to call you. Exactly. He’s coming by your house.

Exactly. There’s no unanimity. There’s no universality. Unanimity.

There’s no coupons. I don’t know what that means. That Story Show That Story Show That Story Show and I had to go and David let his tags lapse and it wouldn’t matter anyway. I had to redo them because David moved here from Phoenix and had Phoenix tags.

So I had to go to the DMV, one of the things that everyone enjoys doing. It’s wonderful, loving people there in the DMV. Actually, I like that they call it the DMV because it sounds like you’re saying it as a bad word. I gotta go to the DMV.

See how that works? DMV so anyway I Go down there and then the lady’s actually being you know in her normal self and and just talking and she actually called me Sweetie and hun and that’s kind of like you know you worked at a truck stop didn’t you? It’s very southern. It’s very waitressy thatstoryshow.com Anyway, I thought about making a joke and I wanted to make a joke because next door was one of these Asian nail salon places and I almost walked into it.

So I was going to be like, yeah, I actually walked in next door and I was just gonna make some joke about my nails feel great or something. But then I happened to look at her nails. And dude Amy let me tell you she had the nicest nails I’ve ever seen they were they were all decorated with graphics and stuff and then I noticed the lady next door and she was like really really old and she had gorgeous nails and then the next one to her did and the next one her didn’t And I realized these ladies had really bad attitudes, but they had really great nails.

And that’s really what life’s all about. So there must have been a moment though where they were enjoying themselves all over there, you know, and the Asian ladies maybe, maybe the DMV ladies had bought them pizza and they’re all over there eating lunch and doing nails and talking to each other and just whooping it up. And so I know even though the DMV lady wasn’t kind to me, somewhere out there she’s enjoying herself.

There’s a place for lunch ladies and DMV workers and policemen to that where they can smile and and be themselves and so If you if there’s any listeners out there that work at the DMV call and explain yourselves immediately That Story Show DM it, you know, it’s just right Well, this is I know my I have to go like in 30 minutes, but I have to tell the story I cannot believe I didn’t tell it first. Okay, go I guess so fresh and like painful, but my my featured story is short. So I’ll go with this Yesterday Anthony’s cousins in town for the week and yesterday we decided to go to Chicago to show around because people come here we live near Chicago and so that’s automatically what people want to see.

Well and you didn’t have anything else going on. Right. Like a podcast recording. So why not?

So we go to Chicago. Okay. And we’re parked all day having fun and we go back to the car and there’s a ticket on the car. We purposely fed the meter all day long and we’re like, well, how did we get a ticket?

So Anthony opens it up. and it’s a ticket for an expired tag. And so he’s like, how is this possible? I paid for my tag and they never sent it.

And so he’s like, I have a receipt in the glove box. It’s okay. I’ll send it in. And, and, uh, we’re like, well, there’s a cop right over there.

We’re driving down the road. There’s a cop right over there. Why don’t we drive down and talk to the cop and see if he can, yeah, see if he can take care of it. you know right now and we’re like well he probably can’t but we’ll at least ask him about it because we’re not in our town and it said you had to go to court so do we have to go to court in Chicago or can we go in Rockford

so anyway we drive down the road to this cop the cop walks up to the car Anthony didn’t honk at him didn’t do anything walks up to the car he’s got the horriblest meanest look on his face ever he knocks on the window roll the window down and Anthony’s like what the heck So he rolls the window down,the cop’s like,license and proof of insurance. And Anthony’s like,um,from me? Okay.

And he’s like,what’s wrong? And I thought it was like a random traffic stop where they check all that stuff or,you know,whatever. And he’s like,you can’t read? And Anthony’s like,um,what do you mean?

He’s like,this is a one-way street. thatstoryshow.com Oh, so that’s your excuse and he was so rude. He’s like to that. That’s how you think you’re gonna get out of this, you know, and he was just so rude and Anthony’s like, no, I’m being serious.

I totally didn’t even know he’s like what what way the cars facing what way the cars facing and he’s like I didn’t notice that I’m like freaking out in Chicago lost and trying to find you and all you know, so anyway, the guy was so rude and then he He takes forever to verify all this stuff. Anthony can’t find the proof of insurance, realizes it’s not in the car. So he’s like, he’s like, not only, you know, are you driving with an expired tag, but now you don’t have insurance.

And you went the wrong way on the road and tried to weasel your way out of it Anyway, the guy was just so and we were thinking we are not only are we gonna get $5,000 in tickets But we’re also gonna you know, they’re gonna tow the car if we don’t have insurance. How would they not like tow the car? So we’re just freaking out and I’m sitting in the back like oh god, please help us you know and She’s trying to pray her way out of it in the back.

That’s another charge exactly so anyway Anthony got he got a he we left there he let he actually let us leave but he took Anthony’s license he gave him a ticket for driving the wrong way on a one-way street he gave him another ticket within five minutes of the other one for the expired tag which I think is so bogus I don’t know how they can do that but apparently they can and he and he gave him a ticket for no insurance and so it was just this huge drama and it was unbelievable and the guy was so rude and like so like I felt like I had killed somebody and I wasn’t even the one driving. Well if you guys…

And the more Anthony talked the deeper he got in the hole. So this just happened yesterday right? Yes. If there’s anybody that listens to this show that works for the Chicago Police Force now is the moment that God has selected you to come forward and just avenge thatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstorys Where I live.

We do not. Why would you have one-way street? The children’s ministry has one-way street, but only other children’s pastors will actually get that joke. If you got that joke, write in.

I’ll draw you a picture. You know, I actually drew a picture for somebody last week. That’s awesome. What did they get the picture for though?

Oh, they knew the reference was from Jurassic Park. It’s the featured story. Alright Amy it’s time for that featured story and it’s your week so hit it girl you got five minutes. Alright next time I decided I’m gonna start busting out some stories that actually involve siblings so that I can keep with the theme of the show.

There you go. But I had to tell this one because it it was when I first thought of stories this was the one that stuck in my head the most because mom used to always sew our clothes I don’t know if she ever sewed your clothes because you’re a boy. But she always made me and Leanne and Jonathan and David clothes. I think I missed the sewing clothes phase.

Ginga. There were a lot of phases. Ginga sewed my clothes though. Okay, there you go.

So mom always made clothes. So she, at the time, I mean, we just thought that what she made was the most fabulous, most beautiful thing ever. And so one time when I was in middle school, she sewed this beautiful purple dress. My favorite color was purple.

Oh purple, I love it. It’s beautiful. So she made me this super 80’s up ruffly purple dress. Like 50,000 ruffle layers and like the big puffy ruffles on the sleeves and it was just gorgeous.

So we’re going on a field trip for middle school and we’re gonna go see Montel Williams and this was back in the day when he was a motivational speaker. Yeah, he came to my school, holy crap. Yeah, yeah, he was a motivational speaker. He came to Canyon County High School.

Yeah, so we’re going to another town to see him at somebody else’s middle school. thatstoryshow.com thatstoryshow.com thatstoryshow.com,ReviewThatStory No. No, you cannot wear this dress. You know, you’re going to get ruined, you’re just going to school, you’re going to be on a bus, you’re going to go to lunch, all this stuff.

No, you’re not wearing the dress. And me being a teen, pre-teen little brat, I’m like, I’m wearing this dress. I don’t care. So in the morning of the field trip, I get all dressed, decked out in my jeans and a t-shirt and stuffed nicely, the dress, in my backpack.

So when I get to school, I change into the dress and everybody’s like, Oh, you’re so beautiful. Oh my gosh, where’d you get that dress? And all the reactions and things that I was looking for are mine. It was so worth it.

Yeah. Oh, everything. It’s just, it’s just panning out exactly the way I wanted it to do. And my dream has come true.

I’m finally the princess of the school. And I, um, We get on the bus. I’m so particular not to get anything on it. Make sure I look before I sit down.

I’m not going to get caught. There’s no way. I’m on top of the world. We go to Montel and it’s huge.

There’s a huge auditorium, tons and tons of middle schoolers and everybody’s like, everywhere I go I get all these comments on my dress, it’s so beautiful, I’m a princess, and I’m like, I know, I know, stop it, stop it. So then we all get situated and sat down and Montel comes out and all of a sudden they come over the loudspeaker and they’re like there’s been a bomb threat we’re gonna have to evacuate the building. So they start to evacuate the building. Well, when they get the whole building evacuated, we’re all standing in our groups outside.

The news crews start just driving up, like bolting into the parking lot. It’s like this raid, but it’s like a raid of news crews. Oh my gosh, don’t tell me. So they all bust out and they get their cameras out and I’m like hiding behind all my friends This is like a Boy Meets World episode or something I was like, what news station is this?

Do we get that in Old Town? With the rabbit ears. Yeah, I’m like, no actually was it willing to live in the same areas? But I was like do we get this and I was freaking out and I was like I look at it all of them and my friends are like, what are you doing?

And I’m like, I am not supposed to be wearing this dress. You don’t understand and so my friends start all messing around me and they keep pushing me in front of the camera and I’m like I’m having these nightmares of mom like like watching the news and all of a sudden this purple flash gets pushed in front of the camera. What was that?

Play it back. Rewind that on TiVo and there was no TiVo and I was just freaking out and so then we went back in and they were filming Montel and the whole time I’m freaking out because I just know that I’m gonna end up on one of these things and obviously all these middle schoolers are jumping in front of the camera happily and I’m the one hiding. It’s just so funny when I think of it now because it was such a big deal.

Oh yeah. that if I got on this camera and then I had to get back to school and change and you know it wasn’t worth it. So you didn’t get interviewed? Right, I did not, but I was definitely afraid that I was going to get on camera and in my mind at the time that was the worst possible scenario is that I would get on camera, mom and watch news.

I don’t even think mom watched the news, but in my mind that’s what was going to happen. Of course, oh my god. thatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com thatstoryshow.com Come to the city and he literally he was a block away. You could see it from the front door of the shop and I was really impressed because they had all these guys in the alleyway There were people dressed as homeless guys There were people up on the roof all of them had the glasses and the earpieces and they

line the entire block all the way around with dump trucks That Story Show That Story Show But I I go out there look and here comes the camera crew and I started to try to turn away because I don’t like it I was dressed for printing t-shirts. Okay. I had paint on me. I had an apron on you know But they said sir, sir.

Can we interview you and I’m like, okay sure that’d be fine And so she’s like, oh, sorry you excited about the president and I say well, I don’t know nothing about that president I don’t know if you’d call me a Clinton supporter, but man, they got a lot of dump trucks out here That Story Show That Story Show That Story Show That Story Show Up next, News E and V-Mail. Amy, we’ve got a lot of emails and V-Mails and stuff like that. What I’ll do is I’ll save a lot of it for the end and I’ll just record it later.

All right. We’ve got one from David, G-Bout, and it was really good. Really? Yeah, we’ve got some good ones, but I’m going to play this one for you here if you can hear it.

I hope you can. Hey guys, it’s Miriam. This story has to do with my cousin. And well, my cousin called me and we were talking and she told me about her dog peeing on her brother.

And well, my cousin was wearing a red shirt. And that’s it. It stops right there. Are you serious?

Yeah. Her cousin was wearing a red shirt and a dog had peed on it. And that’s it. The voicemail cut off.

I need to know why the color of the shirt was important. Yeah. I want to know what the story was. So Miriam, we’re going to play your other voicemail later about your bird’s head getting stuck.

That’s a good one. thatstoryshow.com Hello nobody’s listening this is Mike from Kentucky and I just wanted to share a story that always makes me laugh when I think about it. It was one summer when me and my friends were at camp and we caught a chipmunk in our bathroom and we were wondering what to do with it so we decided to release it into the nearest cabin to us. Let’s just say those campers weren’t the happiest campers there if you get what I’m saying.

That Story Show That Story Show okay so amy that he shortened it so much he left out all the details now I was so inspired by that voicemail that I decided that we’ve been telling stories the wrong way all along. And so I went back through it and I would like to now retell our best stories from the last 26 episodes using his method of storytelling. So episode one, episode one, hallelujah, right? I’ll just say that one time I was sitting in my bathroom and I was singing hallelujah and a repairman came in and let’s just say that repairman was pretty shocked.

Episode 3,The Basement Ghost Man. I had some guys in my basement. I told them a scary story and let’s just say those kids weren’t sleeping anytime soon if I need to tell you that. Episode 5,The Torture Chamber.

I had two brothers and I put them in a barrel, we spun them up and let’s just say they were pretty dizzy. Episode 7. This is so much funnier than the way we normally, originally did this. Yeah, what were we doing wrong the whole time?

Episode 13. Such a waste of space. Episode 13, the auger man. We were at this place and this guy, he told us some stuff that was pretty smart and let’s just say that was pretty annoying.

Ugly Becky episode 14. David found a girl on the internet and he went to go see her and let’s just say he was pretty embarrassed. Episode 23 the free cow. Amy got a free cow and let’s just say that cow was pretty disappointing.

And then last week episode 26 blue butter. I threw some blue butter on my sister that I made from a science kit and I don’t think I need to tell you what my mother was like. So anyway, I was laughing all week about that email because it wasn’t funny at first and I’m like, dude, he was trying so hard not to take a long time. Now to his credit and thank God I can, he can kind of answer us even though he didn’t know he was going to.

He called back and he told the story and I’ll play it at the end and it is hilarious. He just, all the details about the chipmunk, where the chipmunk was dancing on like people’s heads and gnawing its way out of sacks and how they caught it and what the chipmunk was doing there in the first place. It’s a pretty good story. So but I’m gonna read one more email that we got tons of emails like I said I’ll hit them later but there’s one that won the best one and I didn’t even have to ask you about it.

I already mailed out his button for this week. and if you guys were waiting for your buttons, it is on its way. I sent out three of them. Let’s see.

Oh, here it is. This is from Stefan. Okay, it goes like this. One night I had the stomach flu.

Oh, and by the way, this is the way to tell an email story. That before was an example how not to. This one is a perfect example of the story carrying You know being good on its own without all the the prequel and all that stuff. So here goes one night I had the stomach flu.

I felt really bad. I woke up in the middle of the night and started to barf. I tried to keep the barf in my mouth, but my mouth started leaking. I was on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

So while I was going down the ladder, I started puking on my brother in the bottom bunk. I went to the bathroom to unload in the toilet. I made a trail of barf from my bedroom to the bathroom. My mom went to see what was wrong.

Then my older brother comes in the bathroom wondering what was going on. He slipped on the barf and he had barf all over his back. My mom laughed hysterically. I hope you like the story.

I can’t believe he held the barf in his mouth. Oh my gosh,Jessie’s little brother. It’s so gross, dude. But I went ahead and just told him, I’m like, dude, you got the best email this week.

I’m sending you a button, send me your address. That is so awesome. I’ve never heard that happening ever. Hey, can I tell you something real quick about Blue Butter?

Yeah. You were talking about Blue Butter earlier and it reminded me. Okay. This is what’s weird, okay?

This is the first encounter I’ve really had with our listeners. So, I go over to my friend’s house and he’s like, yeah, we invited some other people too and they like your podcast. And I was like, what? I can’t do this.

I can’t perform. I can’t be on 24 hours a day. This is a lot of pressure. And so it was just so weird because the guy comes in and he’s like, I listen to Blue Butter.

It was just so weird because he was like somebody I didn’t know and then all of a sudden he was in my face. And I was like, you’re not supposed to really know who I am because I’m actually very boring. annoying person. So now you know the truth.

All those preconceived ideas you had about me being beautiful in my purple dress, it’s all failed. I’m a regular old person. Actually, your face is now on the new redesign of the website. Have you gone by and seen it?

I know, I saw that. It’s a good picture. I know, but I appreciate you finding something out of a magazine. No, no, that was a picture of you just like two weekends ago on a camping trip.

I was camping. I did good. You did I was impressed because I was afraid of David David looks slightly like a demon-possessed lion But looked a little deformed I noticed like almost like a character stretch You know like yeah, but that’s really the way he looks all the time people just don’t know it It’s when he makes weird faces that I get pictures that make him look normal, but I was a little better about him leaving That’s all that’s it Chipmunk Stories that had the long story, but I’ll go ahead and read his.

He says, I remember laying in bed one evening. My stomach started to cramp really bad. I decided to put up with it for a while, but eventually I had to go and complain to my parents. I was promptly dismissed and sent back to bed, but it didn’t take long for me to confront them again, and I was instantly, oh wait, I insisted that I was really in pain.

With hardly any sympathy, his stepdad shoveled a pile of indigestion tablets down his throat and told him to go back to bed. Well, that’s what stepdads do, Michael. That’s what they do. They are there for your mom.

They’re not there for you. You’re extra. All right. All the middle schoolers just turned emo right there.

All of them. All our listeners who are middle schoolers now are emo. Anyway, hours passed. His stomach was getting worse and worse.

Anyway, long story short, he went to the hospital. Turns out he had appendicitis. And so they were going to operate. They had all of it getting ready and they asked him, you know, did you have any medicine?

And he says, yeah, my stepdad gave me some indigestion tablets and they weren’t very happy because they had to delay surgery and wait for the stuff to get out of their system because, you know, the what is it? The appendix is a part of your tract there. So anyway, he says this happened. on the run-up to Christmas.

I guess that means they actually have Christmas up on a hill. Well no wonder he had appendicitis, he’s running. Well it gets weirder, you know, the UK thing, they need to explain themselves, they just do. Anyway, he says there were people bringing around presents to kids.

No, they were bringing round presents. Oh, yes. Round ones. Round ones.

They were bringing round presents. To the kids on the ward, you know, my round presents bring all the kids to the ward. We call them floors don’t we? Or wings.

Maybe they were crazy children. Maybe so. Anyway, so they came over and here’s the thing. I had the choice of a cruddy badge or a box of chocolates.

So what are they doing? What kind of badges are they handing out? Are these buttons or these police badges? You know, what is this?

Maybe badge means something different. Anyway,he had been told he wasn’t supposed to eat anything so he took a badge and to this day He still feels sorry for himself for having passed up on the chocolatey goodness You know what? I don’t feel sorry for you, Mike. You took a badge for Christmas.

Somebody gave you a badge. That is your deepest regret in life. You have done good. Yeah, that’s true.

That’s very true, actually, Michael. Seriously. You need to go ahead and look in the mirror and say, you know, you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and dadgumit, you did pretty good with your life. You make people happy.

Oh my gosh. Anyway, Mariam wrote us. She outdid herself. She sent two voicemails, one which was incomplete, and then she actually sent us a story which I’ll read later.

But anyway, Stefan, you won the badge, or the badge. You won the button, and it’s on your way to you already. Around bed and I wish we could do a recap song but we can’t because Amy doesn’t play guitar But I’m playing with the idea of grabbing the guitar out of the next room and kind of solo in it after Amy gets off the old the telly I could I could play the guitar Really?

Yeah, I didn’t know you play guitar Yeah, I I know how to strum with a chip clip. Oh Don’t even go there. Well, the problem is Skype Skype doesn’t allow for guitars and two vocals at the same time. I don’t know what it’s doing on Skype’s part.

What did you just say about catfish brood? You chopped like a beast and it sounded like you said I’ve got my catfish brood. I did. That’s actually what I said.

What did you say? I said I think that’s just rude on Skype. I had no heck of an idea what you were saying just now. And I still say that.

That’s my favorite. No heck of an idea. all right well anyway it must be that time it must be that time to get out of here all right it’s that time amy let’s remind them all of the things that they need to remember they need to call us on the nobody’s calling line at 206-600-5704 they could email us at any given time 24 hours a day at nobody’s listening to us at gmail.com check us out on the forums Don’t ignore them.

It’s very important. Oh, we forgot news. We forgot news. Next week, we’re doing a theme show.

It’s going to be called When Animals Attack. And we got that from Kareo, aka Tom from the forums. So Tom, send us your address or a friend’s address and we will send you your button. Also don’t forget to send us a photo of yourself holding a sign for our main page.

Also we are updating the main page at least once a day with something cool and awesome that we found on the internet. Amy I need to get you on there so you can learn how to make updates. You do. You do.

You need to do that. But you can check us out on the forums at nlcast.com slash forums. You could go to the Frapper map, which is a map where you could put a pin in and let us know where you’re listening from. A lot of people have done that.

You can go to myspace at myspace.com slash nlcast or above all, leave us an iTunes review. Last count, I think we had 87 reviews, Amy. thatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstoryshow.com,reviewthatstorys Review That Story Show Review That Story Show Ladies and gentlemen,it’s me by myself and I’m gonna go ahead and read our emails From that we missed in the show Jason Hill from Chicago,Illinois writes I spent a year playing the piano on a cruise ship large ships like that have many support beams running up and down through the floor to support all the decks on one of the bottom three floors there were poles showing up all over the place and right in the middle of a room,you know and and so they were in the staff

mess which is where they eat and it was one of the main social centers of the boats and so crew members were always there hanging out and this was one such night but there happened to be a 10 inch round pole right down the middle of the aisle between tables if you can imagine that table on the left table on the right the aisle that you’re supposed to be walking down has a pole right in the smack in center so they were eating dinner one night and a brand new crew member comes and he’s walking he’s got his plate of food and they all watched him as he ran smack dab into that pole while he was looking right at it he walked right in that pole at full speed the tray flipped up the dinner smeared all over his shirt and pants and the entire room erupted with laughter and instead of laughing at himself for cleaning up his mess he just turned around he ran away while making this loud whining noise it’s terrible Well he says I have to do the music in tomorrow’s service and I have to preach so I’d

better get ready for that. He says tell Amy sorry again for misspelling her name. Just kidding Amy. And so that’s Jason Hill from Chicago, Illinois, which undoubtedly he’s a worship leader of some kind and a part-time minister.

Well praise the Lord. Mariam writes alright James,Amy this is Mariam and James knows it’s the weird Mexican that he’s talked to on myspace I have talked to a strange Mexican on myspace. I didn’t realize it was you anyway She writes well my cousin and I went to the mall the other day to see a movie both of us were wearing flip-flops and hers were kind of old we had to use the restroom we were kind of power walking and See that’s the thing Miriam when you wear flip-flops you’re kind of making a decision for the whole day and that decision is I’m not going to move very fast.

My wife actually almost broke her ankle stepping off of a bus on some flip-flops and when she went to go get her ankle fixed the doctor said that those flip-flops keep him in business because he was like a foot doctor but anyway. They were power walking and her cousin, let’s call her Lucy, was walking in front of me and she suddenly stops, which causes me to run into her and I was like, geez, Lucy, why did you stop? And she looks down and she has horror on her face. I don’t know what horror looks like, but Miriam does.

Anyway she looks down and and where she sees her flip-flop is broke the part you know that always breaks the part between your big toe and the rest of your toes so her foot went through her flip-flop and she was just laughing because there she is standing the middle parking lot of the mall and she has one flip-flop and she’s holding the other broke flip-flop in her hand with this horrified embarrassed look well to make matters even worse I didn’t realize how bad I needed to go the restroom Miriam says and I was laughing really hard and I was like oh my gosh Lucy I have to pee while she was laughing and so We run to the bathroom to get to a store so she can buy herself another pair of flip-flops limping all the way there because she tried to fix the flip-flop so she wouldn’t have to walk barefooted.

Instead she looked like a very unsmart person with a limp leg. So I hope all you middle schoolers out there enjoyed that story. It’s what the world’s been waiting for. The Recap Zone.

Amy had a purple dress she wasn’t allowed to wear it but she said I’m going to see a Monta Williams thingy and it’d like to look my best All the pains she went through She shoved her dress in a little backpack And got on the bus to school And then she changed And just like Jane Hathaway She was suddenly alive I know that dreams are not blind I don’t need wings to help me fly Cause miracles happen once in a while If you’re not Amy Well, she went to the show and suddenly a bomb threat was called and you know it’s just her luck she had to go outside while the news crews came it was all the same as it’s happened before all our friends tried to push her out the door toward the front so she’d be recorded and reported to my mom Amy why did you try so hard?

Don’t you know you’re gonna get beat hard? Cause miracles don’t happen once in a while if you’re Amy. I don’t know why you thought you could. Mom’s gonna hit you with a big piece of wood.

Miracles don’t happen. Oh. I know that dreams make us blind,Amy you better go ring so you can fly,And stay off the TV,At least you need to try,Cause you better believe,You better believe that you’re gonna get beat down. Now a little song about Miriam Why’d you leave us half a message?

Why’d you call about your cousin’s red shirt? Only to hang up and hurt our feelings You better call back real soon And give us the rest of that tune And let us know what happened Why your cousin has a red shirt with cat pee on it Did it get into his wallet? I don’t know There was a guy that called in on the voicemail and he said the only thing he wanted to hear was to hear his name referenced on the podcast during the recap song but since my sister had to go because the song was too long she had to go to a show I just have to say you know who you are I’m sorry I couldn’t play the thing first and then record this song cause then you would hear your name in it maybe even though I’m trying to think of something.

It’s not the word long, but I couldn’t. Let me try one more. um yes we want you to shorten your voice and emails but the guy that sent in the chipmunk story took it way too well and he left out all the details but you will hear them later please don’t tend us a story that has only five or six words Gator?

Where’s David? He knew how to do this thing so much better. It freed my mind to think up just the words instead of the tune. Oh David, I’m sorry for picking on you all the times you lost that tune and the rhythm.

Oh man, I miss him. I hope you’re doing well. I hope we hear from you soon. Tried to Skype you and we got hung up on.

I guess it’s because Ireland doesn’t like you talking to us. They’ve kept you and they’re not gonna let you go. Well, I guess that’s about it. Hope you enjoyed the FACO recap song.

Bye. thatstoryshow.com,thatstoryshow.com,thatstoryshow.com,thatstoryshow.com,thatstoryshow.com,thatstoryshow.com,thatstoryshow. We had a chipmunk hole in our bathroom,and so we caught a chipmunk,and we’re wondering what to do with it. So,the second to last night,we decided to release it into the cabin next to us.

Well,when we released it,half the guys were going,CATCH IT,CATCH IT,CATCH IT! The other half were going,AAAHH,AAAHH,and jumping on the bed. So,eventually,their counselor caught it in his sleeping bag and was gonna bring it back to our cabin to release it back into our cabin. So,uh,when he was bringing it over,the chipmunk decided he didn’t really like being in the sleeping bag,he jumped out and landed on the counselor’s head,and the counselor screamed and went running.

So,uh, They ended up responding with a fire extinguisher into our cabin,which really wasn’t fun. The people in charge of the camp weren’t happy either. Cause there goes a fire extinguisher and those things aren’t cheap to get refilled. So thanks guys for the time and just keep doing what you’re doing.

You’re doing a great job. And the only request I have is that you mention me in the recap song. My name is Mike from Kentucky. hey guys it’s Miriam from North Carolina and well the story I’m about to tell you involves my brother and our pet cockatiel and well in order for us to sometimes get a hold of our bird we have to kind of cup our hands to get around around him

so he can climb onto our hands and well earlier my bird was on top of his cage and on top of most bird cages there’s a little handle so you can hang them up and my brother was around the bird and he wanted to get a hold of him and so he cupped his hands and it kind of freaked the bird out and so the bird started running across his cage and well like I said before the um the hook part the handle where you hang it up from the top um was sticking up so it was up instead of down flat on the thing and and the bird runs straight across into the fang into the handle so his head’s stuck in there and it’s not everyday that you see a cockatiel’s head in a birdcage handle but the bird’s alright and I decided to tell you that it’s one of those things that you have to be there to see it it was really funny thanks for letting me share guys bye Hey James and Amy Um,this is John,it doesn’t matter that I’m telling you my first name,since John is a very common

name. But,whatever,I’m John someone from somewhere. And it’s about four in the morning where I am,and so I decided to call you a podcast. Um,I really have no stories,but I was just calling to tell you that I nominated you for best comedy podcast of the year at podcastawards.com,podcastawards.com.

And I would suggest to everyone else that’s listening to this to do that too. And I figure you might make it to the top ten, but even though the top five is all that really matters. Yes, I know, I’m very positive. Thanks.

Bye. James, Amy, greetings. My name is Jessica. I wrote an email way back in the bike episode days and thought I’d leave my first voicemail.

So, one Saturday afternoon, my boyfriend and I, whom you’ve dubbed Super Lucky Boyfriend, and he couldn’t have been happier for it, decide to go get some lunch. So we head down to the local family Mexican franchise eatery in town. We walk in and the greeter informs us he has just the table for us. On our way, we pass this big group of people sitting on a high-top table.

We sit, and then realize this group of people are in full Irish folk dancing garb. Some weird green lederhosen, wearing white stockings, bells around their ankles. And at about this same time, they begin to sing. Well, Belt Out, an Irish folk song, loud and proud.

This continues about a song every five minutes or so. It’s not too much of a big deal. We’re cool about it. But then, the group, about a group of eight or so, get up with their bells, and their tambourines and their handkerchiefs and, um, so that the direct side of our table line up to do a dance.

A long, noisy, bell-filled Irish dance, which I watch while enjoying my chimichanga. But that was just something so surreal that I just had to share it, since I had no heck of an idea what was going on. Anyway, Amy, A-I-M-E-E, I think you’re an awesome addition. I love that the podcast is still going strong until David is able to come back Hi, this is Paul’s dad.

You might remember Paul. He was a guest star on your podcast a while back when David wasn’t able to be there. Anyway, I wanted to tell you a quick story about Paul when he was a little bit younger. We were on vacation and we were somewhere in the great state of Oklahoma and we were at this hotel.

thatstoryshow.com,thatstoryshow.com,thatstoryshow.com,That Story Show We were coming back towards the room that we were staying in, which is on the second floor, and we were obviously on the ground floor in the Holodome proper area itself, and so I got this great idea of sticking Paul up on the balcony of the second floor outside of his mom’s window, because I knew that his mom was right inside that window, and she was ironing some clothes. There weren’t actually balconies,it was just kind of a concrete little slab that stuck out about 8 to 10 inches that you could stand on if I got him up that high. So I pushed him up there and he climbed up and just as he began to bang on the window real loud to scare his mom,I looked up and I happened to notice that the window next to the slab that Paul was standing on,the next room over apparently,I saw

his mom in that window and she was indeed ironing and it looked like she was having a good time. About that time I looked back at Paul and he was continuing to bang on the window and just about half a second later, right before I could yell, Paul, I don’t know what I was going to yell, but I was going to yell something, just short of a cuss word. But prior to my ability to do that, the curtain flew back and there is a big ugly man standing in nothing but his boxer shorts wondering who in the heck is banging on his window.

and uh… that i’m not sure what happened i saw paul kinda wave at him but after that i just left i took off so i didn’t figure i was going to get father of the year award so no sense in hanging around uh… but uh… i took off and left and two or three minutes later paul come busting in the room screaming at me and laughing his head off and uh…

we don’t ever know what happened to the man in the boxer shorts anyway that’s a uh… paul got about tale of the tape type of story didn’t know if you could use it or not uh… If you can, you have my permission, I will sign off on any kind of releases that you would need, because I know that Paul will be indeed a famous rock star sometime, and I’d hate to see the NL cast to be sued. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your flight.