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Caleb has quite the experience with a deranged dentist plus some epic stories from this episode of That Story Show podcast that will have you in stitches! Trust me, you don’t want to miss out on these hilarious and crazy moments.
Check out Not Quite Christlike in iTunes or Spotify.
James Kennison:
Hey, podcast people. This is that Story show where real life stories take the spotlight. It’s episode 447, brought to you the week of August 23, actually, 31st, 2023. I’m your host. My name is James Kenison, and my good friend is here.
James Kennison:
Hey, James, I’m John, and I want to tell you about this new bookstand that I got from Ikea. Oh, yeah. It fell over and all my books fell on my head.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
But you know what? I have my shelf to blame.
Jess:
That was funny, wasn’t it? I have my shelf to blame.
James Kennison:
Oh, man. Yeah. No, ikea is great. Ikea is just short for I’ll kill you. Yeah, I’ll kill you. That’s what happens there. We always start with an opening story. And this one is a voicemail from Jessica McCabe.
James Kennison:
It’s called Belfi.
Jess:
I don’t know if you can handle this one. You can’t tell anyone, all right? Promise? Anyone know? I think Daddy knows. Does anyone else know? Like your friends? Your friends probably know. No. Okay. One summer, I think she does. Okay, so one summer, I went for a trip to Toronto to go work for a week for my Uncle Park, who is an accountant. Okay? So I was doing office work and stuff like that for him, right? And it was just him and I in the office. And so halfway through the week, I’m quite bored. I’ve kind of done all the stuff that I need to do, so I decide that it would be a good idea. So I did a bunch of photocopying the Photocopier Forum and stuff like that, right? So I’ve done all that and I’m bored. I’m looking for something to do and whatever. And I thought it might be funny if I photocopied my bum.
James Kennison:
So that.
Jess:
I could send a picture of my butt to my friends. Like I was actually going to mail it to them, right? And this is before our cell phones and text messaging, so it’s not like.
James Kennison:
I could send a mail.
Jess:
It just like a picture Gen X. Anyways, so I photocopy my bum, but then the photocopier stops working. It is jammed. It is not working anymore.
James Kennison:
Oh, no.
Jess:
So I’m like, oh, my goodness. What do I do?
James Kennison:
What do I do?
Jess:
So I have to tell my uncle that because I needed to start photocopying more, and the photocopier is not working anymore, right? So I went to my uncle and I said, okay, there’s something wrong with the photocopier. So he calls a repairman to come out to fix it. So he’s working away at it, trying to figure out what’s wrong with it, and he finally figures out the problem. So he calls my uncle, and I’m in the office at this point. So there’s three of us in the office. It’s the repair man, myself and my uncle park. So it boots up again and starts to print out whatever was jammed in there. Do you remember?
James Kennison:
What do you think?
Jess:
Printed out my butt. Picture of my butt printed out. So we’re all standing there in the office and I am mortified because I’m like I don’t know how that got there. How did that get there?
James Kennison:
Such a thing. So I didn’t say anything.
Jess:
I just kind of like but I.
James Kennison:
Think they knew it was broken when.
Jess:
I think they both knew that that.
James Kennison:
Was my butt they did on the paper.
Jess:
It wasn’t in color? No, it wasn’t in color. It was black and white.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
Jess:
Needless to say, my uncle never asked me back to work for him over the summer.
James Kennison:
Wonder why. Love it, love it, love it, love it. How she brought her daughter into it and told her the story. It’s like an interactive story, but they did it themselves. It’s so classic.
James Kennison:
It was jessica, thank you so much for that story. I work with a lot of copiers around here. I don’t think anyone has ever done that.
James Kennison:
I’d be afraid to, man. I’m a fat guy, so if I get up on a copier that glass is broke. Yeah.
James Kennison:
You don’t want it broken?
James Kennison:
No. You have to be under a certain weight. I don’t know what the weight limit is on tempered glass. I know it’s pretty high, but yeah, no, I’d hate to explain that at the emergency room. So what were you doing when you lacerated your butt cheeks? Believe it or not, I’ve never seen it before. I was taking a copy so I could see what’s going on down there.
James Kennison:
Have a doctor’s appointment and I just wanted to make sure it looked normal. And I don’t have a mirror.
James Kennison:
See if I need any makeup or yeah. Yeah. I don’t know. That is the oh, thanks, Jess. Appreciate it.
James Kennison:
Yes, thank you.
James Kennison:
Let’s do some news. Nuggets 5 million bees fall off the back of a truck in Ontario.
James Kennison:
Oh, no.
James Kennison:
Yeah. Police in Ontario called in several beekeepers for backup when approximately 5 million bees fell out of the back of a truck. The Halton Regional Police Service and officers were alerted about 06:15 a.m. That several boxes of bees had fallen from the back of a truck in Burlington. We’re not sure how or exactly what took place, but at some point the boxes containing the bees or beehive slid off the trailer and spilled all over the road. Several local beekeepers were summoned to the scene to help gather the estimated 5 million bees. Beekeeper Luke Peters said he and his yellow our fellow beekeepers, they’re not scared, they’re not yellow. Had to be extra careful during their efforts because the insects were agitated. It’s important for people to understand that honeybees are fairly gentle and don’t bother people unless they are bothered. This is a rare situation where you have to keep your distance from them, he said. Peter said locals can expect there to be a large number of bees in the area for a few days, probably 5 million. Police said the driver of the truck was cited for driving with an insecure load. And that’s the funniest part to me. Why did the bees fall off the truck? They were insecure. People my whole life have been telling me what to be and what not to be. Come on, guys. Are we in this? Are we going to do this or what? Who’s with me?
James Kennison:
I bet you the news was buzzing after that story wasn’t?
James Kennison:
Oh, man. Yeah, it was.
James Kennison:
I don’t like.
James Kennison:
Urge. You have to resist the urge. Florida man arrested for trying to pay for McDonald’s with Monopoly pieces. Oh, Florida man’s always up to something. A man in Florida was arrested after trying to pay for a McDonald’s meal with Monopoly. See, I read that, and I’m like, around St. Louis, he would just get laughed at and sent out of the know because I’ve been in a chicken place before. And the guy came up with his chicken tray, and he’s like, can I get a refill? And the lady just turned around and talked to the entire staff. She said, look at this fool trying to get a refill on chicken. He called him a fool, and he just walked away. Dejected.
James Kennison:
I guess I’ll leave now.
James Kennison:
So this must be I mean, Florida. It must be a nice part of Florida is all I’m saying. The man who has identified as 31 year old Michael Rembert wouldn’t you love your name to be out there as the guy that tried to buy McDonald’s with monopoly pieces? Anyway, he entered the McDonald’s and ordered a meal. And when he went to pay, he offered the cashier a handful of Monopoly pieces. Not even the money. Just here’s some here’s some priceless heirlooms. You guys like Monopoly, right? You’re McDonald’s. You play Monopoly every year. The cashier refused to accept the pieces, and here it is. Rembrandt became angry and started yelling, so he was sure that he was due some food off these dagger Monopoly pieces. He was eventually arrested by police.
James Kennison:
You know what makes me scared about this story is that maybe somebody actually did take the monopoly money and that’s why he didn’t have any monopoly money.
James Kennison:
To get have any more leftover.
James Kennison:
Yeah, he got a new maybe I.
James Kennison:
Can get away with the pieces. He’s like that paid for lunch yesterday, perhaps. Well, in Canada, there’s apparently a joke that their money is Monopoly money. Like, it looks like Monopoly money. It has colors and yeah, yeah, it’s.
James Kennison:
Very got your loonies and your yeah, yeah, for real.
James Kennison:
So anyway, we have a few announcements to make. Hats are available on Etsy.com. Subscribe to that story shows YouTube channel, if you will. If you have a YouTube account, if you surf YouTube or three, you can go there. And we’re Youtube.com at that story show, we’re doing great. We have grown 80 subscribers in just the last 20 days, and so we should be at 1000 downloads within a month. And things are just going to take off from there. But what we’re doing is doing YouTube shorts, and I’m very excited about those. We’re taking some of our best stories, condensing them down to 60 seconds or less, and telling them live. And it’s great. It’s fun. And it’s great for me because we’re getting a lot of great people from YouTube, because not everybody on YouTube is nice. Have you ever read comic sections on YouTube? They’re not nice. There’s a bunch of little kids, but.
James Kennison:
We are don’t read the comments.
James Kennison:
Our stories are pulling in the same kind of people that listen to this show. And I love it. I love it. So far, it’s great. And the feedback we’re getting is great. So check it out. Also, I want to talk about our theme show, Fears and Tears. We want to know about times you’ve scared somebody or somebody scared you. Also, times that somebody’s made you cry or you made somebody else cry in a humorous way. Of course. We don’t want to hear about the time you crashed into your mom and just annihilated her with a bicycle.
James Kennison:
That’s not fun.
James Kennison:
And you wounded her heart and she’s permanently damaged from all of it. So we don’t want to hear that. But anything else would be great. It’s time to jump into some listener stories. What’d you say? Where’d that come from? I don’t know. A dark place in my soul. First, a word from our sponsors. All right, it’s time to jump into some stories. John, if you ever want to know where the stuff comes from in my heart, it is a very dark place. It’s a place that I haven’t submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
James Kennison:
I see. Yes. Well, I’m sure that we all own that place in our no, it’s it’s.
James Kennison:
Only the bad guys like me. Some people are perfect. Did you know haven’t you ever been to church and seen the perfect people?
James Kennison:
Those are the ones that scare me the most.
James Kennison:
Yeah, I agree.
James Kennison:
I look in the mirror every day and I have to remind myself that I’m not perfect.
James Kennison:
No, you’re a lot closer than I am. Speaking of religion, I forgot an update, a piece of an announcement. I have started a new podcast that I would like to share with everyone. It’s called? Not quite christlike. Try to say that three times fast, John.
James Kennison:
I won’t. I tried last time and it didn’t work.
James Kennison:
I can’t even say it once.
James Kennison:
Craig, if you say it with a weird voice, it might work.
James Kennison:
Yeah, not quite. It works like that. So if you do that but you can look it up in itunes, Google, iHeartRadio spotify anywhere you’re at not quite. Christlike is a show for those who struggle with their faith in Christianity whose relationship with Christ is not straightforward. The first episode is called Special needs Christian. It’s about Jacob struggling with the angel of the face of God and the limp that he took away from that experience and the struggle that he had and how struggle is strength. So if you’re someone that needs a pep talk and then I’ve already gotten so much good feedback. I read it on Gok, actually last night, so I’m excited. I was very insecure about doing a religious show, but it’s time. I used to be a pastor. So did you, John. It’s time.
James Kennison:
I was touched by it. Just so you know and so our audience knows, I appreciated the words you had to say.
James Kennison:
Well, I love touching you, John. So it’s good now. I don’t know if I can do the show. I feel so weird. I’m glad you were touched, John. That’s all I want to say.
James Kennison:
You know what? We can’t use that expression ever.
James Kennison:
No.
James Kennison:
Again, I think I need to re edit. I was blessed, brother James, by your blessed. You have ministered to my soul.
James Kennison:
Thank you so much.
James Kennison:
I’m going to send my offering to you.
James Kennison:
Oh, yeah, I did forget about that part too. Since it’s a ministry podcast, I need part of your tithe. Don’t send it to the church anymore. Send it right to me and you’ll be on my prayer list. And I will pray for you. At least pretend to, as far as you know.
James Kennison:
I will pray for be. Are you a prosperity kind of guy?
James Kennison:
I am. I’m also going to buy an air healer. I’m going to get Jen to get a big perm and a lot of makeup. We’re going all out. Going back to the going to hire an angel. Anyway, let’s do some stinking stories. What are we doing?
James Kennison:
We’re going to get in trouble.
James Kennison:
Not so secret stalker by Wes Richards in Manhattan, Kansas. While driving back from Colorado, we needed a bathroom break, so we stopped at a gas station and I went in to the restroom and I did my business. And then I went to wash my hands and there was a man next to me washing his hands. Now, I didn’t get any physical features of the man because you know the rules of the bathroom. You don’t look at anyone. That’s exactly right.
James Kennison:
No eye contact.
James Kennison:
No, you don’t talk at all.
James Kennison:
That’s right.
James Kennison:
I started to walk out of the bathroom elevator, but the man started to walk out of the bathroom too, and he started to follow me. So I started to pick up my pace and I did some maneuvers around the racks in the store, but the guy maneuvered along with me and would not stop following me. And when I made it to the door, I just flat out sprinted to the car and I heard a high laugh from my dad. It was my freaking dad the whole time. I tried to laugh it off, but secretly I had been scared for my life because I thought I was going to get kidnapped at the Dagham truck stop. Wes Richards I just wanted to get some beef jerky. Manhattan, Kansas I did something very similar to my daughter accidentally on the way to dropping her off at college. She on the back of her car wrote, I’m going to college. Cash app me. And then she put her Cash app name. And it was Jenna with another A and then something else. And this whole thing. And me and Jen were driving separate. So we pull off the highway. And what do you know, there I see the green Kia story with her name on the back. And she gets out of the car and I go, hey, Jenna. And she jumped straight in the air. And I realized immediately what I had done. She didn’t recognize it as her dad. This comforting, wonderful voice. She thought it was some random dude that saw her name on the back of the car. And she was in trouble. So I was too ashamed to go to her and apologize. I just told Jen, just somehow tell her that I’m sorry.
James Kennison:
She’s going to have her own podcast one day and talk about how when she was headed to college, she got this scary voice person that shouted out her name. And she probably it’s going to be called Podcast Kid.
James Kennison:
The Dark Side.
James Kennison:
The Dark Side.
James Kennison:
Yeah, that’s what it is. Oh, man. Speaking of which, she’s coming home this weekend for 24 hours. 24 hours?
James Kennison:
How long does it take to drive up there?
James Kennison:
2 hours. But she’s staying one day. And I doubt her parents are being thought of in this 24 hours period. We’re just going to provide a place for her to stay. Free airbnb. She’s probably going to be going and doing everything with her friends. Food to eat.
James Kennison:
I’m sure be lucky to see her. Yeah. Well, you know what? You should hold out some kind of stipulation. Like, if you want us to help you with your college, then you have to spend X amount of time with us.
James Kennison:
Yeah, I’m sure that’ll work.
James Kennison:
Because yeah, it won’t. That’s terrible advice.
James Kennison:
If you hold onto a bird and squeeze it, it will love you forever. Yeah. It just settles right in. It loves that crap. Loves that forced affection.
James Kennison:
Yeah, but if you let it go, it’ll fly away.
James Kennison:
It’ll fly away. Never freaking come back again, ever. That bird is gone. That bird will flip you a bird as it’s leaving is what it is.
James Kennison:
Anyway, go ahead.
James Kennison:
Read us the story, John.
James Kennison:
OK. Well, this comes to us from Matthew Harrison all the way out in Concord, North Carolina. And this is my dirty mind. Like the man of integrity that I am, I have waited 28 years and have moved 3000 miles away from my home in England before telling this story. Should I read this in a different voice?
James Kennison:
No.
James Kennison:
Okay, I won’t. I was just joking about I don’t.
James Kennison:
Have a good English voice.
James Kennison:
Of course, I feel it’s finally time to be released from the spanking room.
James Kennison:
Oh, James. Love it. Love it. Great.
James Kennison:
The spanking room. Firstly, in my defense, I didn’t become a quote unquote born again Christian until two years after this incident. I was 21 at the time.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
So after a busy morning at work, it was break time and I made my way to the break room. I grabbed some coffee and I sat down. The room was filling up quickly. My friend Rebecca grabbed her coffee and sat next to me. We began chatting and exchanging pleasantries. Rebecca has a skirt on that came to her knees. That’s right. Right. Yeah, that’s that’s good.
James Kennison:
Yeah, that’s proper. That’s proper these days. Yes. Cheerio job. It’s proper.
James Kennison:
And what’s the word that you use when you’re modest? Modest. Modest to the knees. I noticed that she had some marks on her legs. I asked her what they were and if she was okay. They’re carpet burns, she replied. What happened next I can only describe as the worst three minutes of my life. Being the obnoxious and loud young man that I was, I proceeded to say at the top of my voice, oh.
James Kennison:
Carpet burns, you say? Carpet burns are really carpet burns. I have to read episode of The Know. The British Office. It’s terrible. All right. Yeah.
James Kennison:
He said that all in an English voice because England is his home town, his own country. So I read it wrong, but that’s okay because I was told not to. I repeated this several times in the voice of Ricky Gervais. By now, everyone in the staff room had gone silent and was looking at us. Rebecca was staring silently at the floor. Any normal, mature person would have stopped here.
James Kennison:
You didn’t know.
James Kennison:
But I was not mature at all, so I carried on.
James Kennison:
Carpet burns, eh? Carpet burns, you say? Oh, so go on then, tell us. Tell us. So what happened to these carpet burns?
James Kennison:
Very quietly, while still looking at the floor, Rebecca finally said, I’m epileptic. I had a seizure. On the inside of my soul, I died. But on the outside on the outside, the only words I could say were oh, sorry. To ease my pain, I would have accepted without complaint a one way trip to Hades. And to make matters worse, this was a young woman I was trying to impress.
James Kennison:
You ruined that.
James Kennison:
Yep. I put this down to the most spectacular crash and burn known to mankind.
James Kennison:
Goodness.
James Kennison:
I never drank a scolding cup of coffee so quickly in my life just so I could leave the room. I have to clarify, I didn’t leave England because of this story.
James Kennison:
Although I freaking would have been on the plane that evening.
James Kennison:
Yeah. It’s like, well, I can’t live here anymore. I’m gone.
James Kennison:
The whole country is ruined. The whole country knows about the whole empire.
James Kennison:
My stupid, mean self. It would have been an acceptable reason. However, I left when I met my wife. Several years later. My wife doesn’t know this story, and to my knowledge, she doesn’t listen to this podcast.
James Kennison:
Mrs. Harrison. Hey, Mrs. Harrison.
James Kennison:
So let’s just keep it between us, eh?
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Sorry. Matthew. There’s a thing that happens with that story show. Once you claim something and say it out loud to the world, they find this will be the very first episode that your wife finds.
James Kennison:
Yep.
James Kennison:
And so will that lady that you made fun of in England.
James Kennison:
She’s going to call you, man. She’s going to hit you up on Facebook. Thanks for making fun of my epilepsy. Good. Thanks. What was that? What you doing down on the carpet, eh? Having an epileptic seizure. I’m epileptic.
James Kennison:
I had a seizure.
James Kennison:
That’s like the time I was at the grocery story and I’m bagging groceries and I don’t know what came over me. I just thought everything I said was hilarious. Apparently, at the time, I had no filter. And this lady and her daughter were checking out, and I looked at the mother and I said, you know your daughter’s pregnant, right? And she looked up slowly at me and she says, yes, I know, but who told you? So not only was her daughter actually pregnant, it was so recent that they were still keeping it a secret so bad. It’s so cringe. Oh, my gosh. To this day, I am 50 years old. I was probably 16 at the time. So stupid.
James Kennison:
That is an embarrassing but maybe that was actually the Holy Spirit speaking to you to use that knowledge, to give her some comfort, and you accidentally used it in the wrong way.
James Kennison:
You might have a gift. Jane. What? You think anything holy was being done during that time? You’re a better man than mean.
James Kennison:
I don’t know.
James Kennison:
There was a ghost, all right? But it was the ghost of a chance that I was about to get. Oh, goodness gracious. All right, I got a story called Wii Catastrophe. Ethan Kodovis from Miami, Florida. Hey, James and John, I’m a senior in high school and I have a story for you. When I was seven years old, my favorite game was Wii Sports Bowling. Everybody’s was, oh, there are still old people that play that old, and I’m talking about in the old folks homes. But I considered myself a very good player and often played by myself to improve my technique. My parents had always told me, hey, wear the wrist strap. But I sometimes decided to ignore that information. Of course, one day I was playing in the living room and having a great time, and my brother was sitting on the couch, and my mom and dad were in the other room. Well, my game was going very well, but then disaster struck. I bent my arm back. I threw it forward. I had done countless times before, but this time I didn’t just throw my arm forward. I watched in slow motion as the controller flew across the room straight at the TV. It smashed into the screen and the game disappeared into a blue screen. This TV was cracked and I stood in silence, staring at my destruction. My mom heard the noise and called what was going on and she came in the room and saw the damage. She didn’t even need to ask what happened because she was very familiar with my stupidity. She didn’t yell. She just walked me into the room that my dad was in. Oh, boy. Oh no. I’m not going to kill you. But he is.
James Kennison:
I’m not going to be an accessory to this.
James Kennison:
Yeah, your dad’s going to jail, not me. Now, for some context, my dad had just had surgery on his back and he was lying in bed most of the time, high on painkillers. So when my mom and I walked in, he asked what happened, and my mom explained the fact that I just destroyed the TV. I waited for punishment and scolding, but it never came. My dad looked at me with his stoned expression and said, that’s fine, I’ll just buy us a new TV. And my mom and I looked at each other, stunned, but I didn’t complain because I was still alive.
James Kennison:
Two days wanted a new TV anyway.
James Kennison:
Yeah, he did. Two days later, there was a knock at the door and a man brought a brand new TV in. We’ve had that TV for almost eleven years now. My dad jokes that I should break it just so we could get a new one. Hope you enjoyed this story and hope it makes it on the show. Aaron Ethan Rather Cadovas, Miami, Florida. Thank you so much for your story. Good.
James Kennison:
Well, congratulations to Mr. Cadovis for the brand new TV. And, you know, the Wii is not so much in style these days and so I guess it’s not going to be getting a new TV anytime soon, right?
James Kennison:
I still have my yeah, yeah, I do. It’s packed up. But I’m like, I’m never getting rid of a console again because they always come back around and people want them.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
My wife never had a problem throwing the controller. She always had a problem getting too close to the TV and swiping and striking the screen. Yes. And so I used to put a Tickle Me Elmo between her and the screen so that when she kicked that Elmo stepping forward, it would start laughing and it would tell her, hey, you’re too close. You’re moving forward subconsciously. And I’d love to say that it was a great idea. It was. But ultimately it didn’t.
James Kennison:
Well, the sad thing is that you bought that Elmo just for that situation, right?
James Kennison:
Oh, yeah. It wasn’t for me. At.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Tickle Me Elmo.
James Kennison:
Do you remember the website, we have a Problem? It was basically all pictures and videos of people destroying their televisions and each other because of not using the Wii remote.
James Kennison:
No, I’d never heard of that.
James Kennison:
Oh, yeah, it was Wii. W I have a problem. I think it might still exist. Who knows? On the web somewhere.
James Kennison:
Cool.
James Kennison:
But you know what? I got a goat. Okay, evelh so I got a goat. So in 6th grade, everyone was telling me I should get a boyfriend. I told a boy I liked him. Yeah, okay. No, I told a boy I liked him and he liked me. We started passing notes back and forth during reading. I sat by the turn in tray and he sat by the pencil sharpener. The relationship bound to happen.
James Kennison:
It really helped things move forward. Whenever he wanted to see her, he’d get I ain’t got to turn in my paperwork.
James Kennison:
My heart go sharpen my pencil.
James Kennison:
I’m going to sharpen my pencil over here.
James Kennison:
My pencil is dull.
Jess:
I keep breaking the table.
James Kennison:
Take forever. Just file it down till it’s an inch tall.
James Kennison:
Yeah. So Evil says we would pass notes whenever we needed to at any time. The point was that he would express his undying love for me in every note. I thought it was awkward, but I never had a boyfriend before, so I went with it. I kept every single one of my notes in my coat. Then after a few months of this, he sent me a picture of his goat and broke up with me.
James Kennison:
Wow.
James Kennison:
That’s a way to go.
James Kennison:
Sorry, I got a new girlfriend. She’s a goat.
James Kennison:
Evil Evelyn. Evelyvel says I was over it, but a few years later, my little sister wore that same coat to school. She went through the pockets at recess and proceeded to read the notes to.
James Kennison:
Everyone in her class.
James Kennison:
Then, to add injury to insult, she.
James Kennison:
Started dating my ex boyfriend’s little brother, who was in her class.
James Kennison:
And the next day, I made her promise not to tell my parents.
James Kennison:
Lulls oh, goodness. Yeah, I think that’s middle school drama. Dang it.
Jess:
Move out of the way, stupid.
James Kennison:
No, I used the wrong voice for that, didn’t I?
James Kennison:
That’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with all that. It’s a lot to unpack.
James Kennison:
It is. Because the goat and the notes?
James Kennison:
Yeah. Why would you send a picture of your goat to the girl but you have no room to talk? You broke up with a girl in full clown costume.
James Kennison:
If I could relive that moment, I wouldn’t do that. It made for a great story, apparently. But I feel so bad about being an idiot. And that’s just one of the ways I proved that I am one.
James Kennison:
I guess.
James Kennison:
Sorry.
James Kennison:
Do you like going to. The dentist, John? No, neither does anyone. I do, really? I know I’m weird. I know. I like people picking around in my mouth. I like the scraping. I even enjoy being flossed.
James Kennison:
You’re making my teeth know.
James Kennison:
I know I’m a weirdo.
James Kennison:
No, it’s not just it’s strange.
James Kennison:
Yeah? Yeah. You remember that scene in Little Shop of Horrors where the guy is a dentist and he’s evil?
James Kennison:
Steve Martin.
James Kennison:
Yeah, Steve Martin is an evil dentist. But there’s a guy that comes in and he’s totally down with everything that the guy wants to do and it freaks him out and he kicks him out. Yeah, I’m that guy.
James Kennison:
It’s funny, I never thought about I.
James Kennison:
Never thought about that. I don’t want pain or anything, but I don’t know, I’m like you got to drill down in there. Go for no, thank you. It’s just a weird thing for me. Don’t stop listening to the show just because of that. Okay.
James Kennison:
Caleb Waller, you’re a braver soul than I, let’s just say that.
James Kennison:
Caleb Waller from Commerce Township, Michigan. The story is called Dastardly Dentist. I had two teeth that were loose, but they hadn’t come out in about a year. So I went to the dentist for them to check it out and the dentist figured out that inside of both teeth they had completely disappeared. And now there was only a shell of these two teeth. Yeah.
James Kennison:
He had hollow teeth.
James Kennison:
Yeah. He explained to me and my mom about the two shells and he said he would need to look a little more. So he told me to open my mouth wider. And without telling me or my mom he happily ripped both of the teeth out without numbing them. Why? It hurts so bad like that. And I struggled I don’t like going to test. I struggled to keep from crying and I had to have an annoying gauze in my mouth for the day. The good part is that I got a prescription cherry ice cream. Such a thing existed.
James Kennison:
I need to go to that dentist, then. If they’re writing prescriptions for cherry ice cream come on, you can grab a.
James Kennison:
Tooth out for some ice cream. But it was only the beginning of many visits to the dentist. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story. I hope it makes it on the show. Caleb Baller, Commerce Township, Michigan. That is wrong, man. I had a dentist, though, one time. I will say that was so evil. He was so evil, I had to have a wisdom tooth taken out and he numbed me up and he cracked that tooth in half like they do, and something slipped and my mouth started bleeding. And instead of apologizing or being careful or anything, he yelled at me. Do you want me to stop this right now and leave you like this? Or do you want to sit still? And tears are coming out of my face. I’m looking at the assistant and she’s looking at me like, I’m so sorry. We all hate him, too. He was horrible, absolutely horrible. And if I had had what I know now, then I would be like, yeah, freaking stop right in the middle and I’ll sue your butt in the next week. Oh, man. But, no, I accepted it. I was young. I was 2021 22.
James Kennison:
This happened to you in your 20s.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Dennis talked to you like you were a five year old in your 20s.
James Kennison:
He was such a butt.
James Kennison:
I don’t think there’s a statute of limitations. You could probably sue him.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Let’s get any lawyers that enjoy our show. You’re looking for some pro bono work, james@nlcast.com he’ll take your comments about, yeah.
James Kennison:
I’d love to jump back into that part of my life and stir it up and face that guy down. It would be great.
James Kennison:
You meet up with him, he’d be.
James Kennison:
Like, I was thinking about you my whole life. I feel so terrible I said that to you. Please forgive me.
James Kennison:
And then you’d be like, no. Lawsuit time, buddy.
James Kennison:
Yeah. Stand up out of that wheelchair, sir. I’m not going to slap a cripple, okay? I deserve it. I deserve it. All right, it is time for us to find our story contest winner. All right. There’s a lot of good stories here today. Caleb, of course, sent one dastardly dentist. I got a goat, we catastrophe, my dirty mind and Wes Richardson and not so secret stalker. As much as I hate to admit it, I like carpet burns. And that’s going to get my vote for today because that is the most embarrassing, horrible thing.
James Kennison:
Yeah, I could feel that. Oh, man. You know what? I’ll second that.
James Kennison:
Okay. All right.
James Kennison:
I second that with my whole heart.
James Kennison:
All right, Matt.
James Kennison:
I like the fact that it came from an English mate.
James Kennison:
Yeah. Matthew Harrison from Concord, North Carolina, you have won our $50 weekly story contest giveaway. Hey, you know what you can do here at the end. We like to talk about our patrons. You can support us for ad free listening swag and weekly bonus content. We’re about to record some right now, patreon.com thatstoryshow the show is free, right. And there’s no pressure, but if you have $3, $5, $10 a month to throw our way, we would appreciate it. And I feel like you get more in return than what you will be giving. So at least try it out. You can try it for seven days for free. Over@patreon.com thatstoryshow, pick any of the tiers and you will get access to immediately to our bonus content. If it’s your thing, just keep on keeping on and your subscription will start after seven days. If it’s not your thing, unsubscribe. Boom, you’re gone. We never knew you were there. We won’t hate you anymore at all. If you’re more of a one time donation person, then buy us a lemon@nlcast.com. Lemon. All right, now it’s time to get out of here. Surely you have a funny life story and you could use 50 extra bucks. Send that story into the show. Submit your story@thatstoryshow.com where you can get links to our twitter, our instagram, our facebook and our discord chat. We’re also on discord. Did I say that? No, I didn’t. Yes, I did. I meant to say we’re on reddit. So if you’re a reddit person, just look up nlcast. Love the show. Spread that love by leaving a review in itunes. Those things help us a lot if you’re like. What can we do? I don’t have any money to give. Leave us a review in itunes. Special thanks to our producers james spangler, Kerry Wright and Christopher tynan. And remember, if something weird, painful or embarrassing happens to you, don’t get stressed. Don’t get depressed. Just think, hey, this belongs on that story show. We’ll see you guys next week. Thanks. And don’t forget about the fears and tears theme show. Send your stuff in that storyshow@gmail.com. We’ll see you guys. Peace. Peace. You thought I had rug burns, but I had a major issue.
James Kennison:
You thought that.
James Kennison:
You laughed at me. You made me grab a tissue. I cried all day and I cried all night because you accused me of doing stuff like the horizontal fight. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m glad you left the country for a brand new shore. And now you told the secret and I’m going to find you. I’m going to knock you out with the bottom of my shoe oh.